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Can my relationship survive?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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It's probably healthy to worry a bit, but wait until he's actually been offered a place before you really start considering the long distance side of everything.
It also depends on you and him, how commited you both are. I know couples where one has cheated on the other, or at least highly tempted. Others have moved on/dumped the person. On the other hand I have seen some work, and now live happily ^^ Its all dependant on the two of you and how you feel for each other, the peeps who split up obviously didnt feel it was worth it!
Yup, I have!
I met my blokey at the end of my first year in Bristol - which happened to be his final year and he moved back home to London on graduating. I was on a 4 year languages degree, so for the next 3 years we were long distance, including during my year abroad, when I was in Hanover, and our seeing each other varied between once every 2 or 3 weeks to once in 2 and a half months (when I was in Germany). But...it all worked out, we stayed together the entire time and I've now been living with him in London for nearly a year and a half.
It can be done, see
oh and my ex bf did meet someone else who made him happy unlike how he felt with me
is going to London with him out of the question? you's could try the long distance thing out for a while and if it doesn't work out then, at least you'll have tried.
Surely he wouldn't have said it, even jokingly, if he didn't like the idea. I'm not saying you necessarily should - it's fucking expensive here for one thing! -but it's maybe something you should think about.
I dunno where I would have gone after graduation if it wasn't for my boyfriend being in London. I s'pose I might have ended up here anyway because at the time I was fishing after political jobs so it's obviously quite a good place to be for that, but I could have just as easily stayed in Bristol to do my Public Policy masters - my boyfriend was definitely the greatest pulling factor. And, yes, it was a huge risk - beforehand we'd only spent 2 or 3 months living in the same town before it turned longdistance, so the idea of suddenly being in each others pockets 24/7 was pretty damn scary, but in the end it's worked out fantastically. No regrets whatsoever.
But if you do decide to go (sorry if this sounds obvious!) get a job before you move down there, that way you won't have the added stress of jobseeking and surviving on JSA on top of all the newness, which could easily lead to grouchiness and arguments!
It hasn't always been long-distance - we have been together for nearly 2 years now and we lived together once. But we speak almost every day and when the weekends come around we always spend a great deal of time together.
I guess if you feel as though you are losing touch with the partner then its not really good, but I don't; I feel like he is there for most of the time, so its not so bad.
Im just babbling on.
Distance is hard, perhaps you'll realise that actually you're not got that much in common, and maybe it will fizzle out. Maybe you'll realise you love each other far more than you thought, and make you stronger. Distance really is something that will make or break a relationship.