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This is quite complicated an i need help
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
well, i had been single for bout 10 months. i was depressed an very down. then Matt came along. i am natrualy a very affectionate person, i'm one who belive that letting people know how much you love them is extreamely important, something not many people now belive in. however, matt did. me an matt were completely smitten. one big problem is however. i live in newcastle an he lives in essex. i was perfectly willing to travel for him. i would come down once a fornight and spend as much time as i could with him. this was completely behind my parents back who don't belive i've ever been to london. me an him were so much in love. or so i thought. the day before halloween. he decided to break up. for reasons un know. he never had a reason, he didn't feel he needed one. however he was adamint it was over. he knew how distraught i was an that i'd been single for ages. i'd felt so depressed. i also have certin issues from my childhood involving Neglect which has made me extreamely sensitive to rejection, which matt fully understood wen we started goin out. me and him are still talking and plans to spend time with him over chistmas are still firmly in place. i told him i needed time to adjust to the shock and that i wassn't able to promise i would be able to contain my emotions when there. this he claimed he understood but he still wanted me to be there. he also promised me that he would remain single for a while, both for me and because he felt he needed some single time. yet within 6 days he was with someone else.he was open with this, and i am FURIOUS. i am still going down to spend christmas with him yet i'm completely consumed with hatred for this other guy. but i love matt still. i can't not go down. i want to see him more than anything. i know for a FACT i will beat his new BF to death if i have to if i come across him. he thinks i'm over reacting. AM I ? SHOULD I GO ? it's completely screwing with my head. and i've become consumed with the situation. it's all i can think about. every convosation is about him. i love him and i WANT HIM BACK. plus i don't think it was fair for him, of all times, to leave me at the start of the hollidays. one thing which gets me it, he also says he loves me, and he always will. he simply dosen't want me anymore. does this mean he wants to get back with me. does he want me to fight for him, and if i do and thats not what he means, i'll lose him. please, someone, help me with this.i need someones opinon that isin't directly linked to this. thanks.
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My guess is the relationship just wasn't working for him. Long distance relationships are hard. If you live with their parents, and are hiding the relationship from them, that will make it harder (although I guess mobile phones make it easier). I guess with your history, maintaining a relationship with you will be harder.
My guess he still loves you - in that he cares deeply for you, but this is not, or is no longer the love a relationship is made of.
That he fell into a new relationship in just days may be a coincidence - mere humans have little control over such matters - or it may show he is prone to falling into and out of love.
Unless you can accept this relationshipm is over I would strongly urge you NOT to go down, you will probably just destroy his and/or your friendship and affection. My advice would be to remember the good times, but to put it behind you. Sorry.
Do you have any friends you can discuss it with?
You don't get people back. If he wants to come back to you then he would have to make the move, if you try to force stuff on him that he's obviously not interested in then you'll push him further away.
It's over.
Rejection is horrible, but if the relationship isnt right for one of you, then its not right for either of you.
Please dont go all bunny boiler on him, as it will say more about you than it does about him.
I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling hurt after your recent break up, and I think it's time to start thinking about taking care of yourself and thinking about how you can move on from this - have you had a look at this article? It's worth taking a look.
Some people do that.
I dont think hes quite the person you think youre in love with.