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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok here goes, About 3 weeks ago now i finally hit on a girl ive liked for months.
We kind of got together on the Friday and by Tuesday i stayed at her place (No sex may i add as we was taking it slowly) Everything was going fine untill the week later she basically text me saying.....She aint ready yet etc (Which it was HER idea we got together as a couple) I was asking her out a lot tho...for meals etc so in a way i think i was being a bit too pushy with her to say the least and maybe this was too much too soon if you get me.
I relised nows the time to play it cool as we are just mates again so i didnt text her much all.
Weekend just gone i sugessted meeting up for a FRIENDLY drink...which she did, i then seen her on the nightime when i was out.....At 1 point i left the pub for 5 mins to see a mate outside...i then got a text off her saying....Where have you sharked off to mr??
Also according to her mate she gets all excited when i send her a text...
Sunday just gone we met up once again (so im glad we are still seeing each other etc) and not ignorring.
My question/Dillemma is....What do i do? Do i keep playing it cool with her? and hope that 1 day she will be ready and we will make a real go of it this time? or just move on?
A lot of this was TOO MUCH TOO SOON in my opinion, thats why this happened....
Your answers will be cherished
Cheers
We kind of got together on the Friday and by Tuesday i stayed at her place (No sex may i add as we was taking it slowly) Everything was going fine untill the week later she basically text me saying.....She aint ready yet etc (Which it was HER idea we got together as a couple) I was asking her out a lot tho...for meals etc so in a way i think i was being a bit too pushy with her to say the least and maybe this was too much too soon if you get me.
I relised nows the time to play it cool as we are just mates again so i didnt text her much all.
Weekend just gone i sugessted meeting up for a FRIENDLY drink...which she did, i then seen her on the nightime when i was out.....At 1 point i left the pub for 5 mins to see a mate outside...i then got a text off her saying....Where have you sharked off to mr??
Also according to her mate she gets all excited when i send her a text...
Sunday just gone we met up once again (so im glad we are still seeing each other etc) and not ignorring.
My question/Dillemma is....What do i do? Do i keep playing it cool with her? and hope that 1 day she will be ready and we will make a real go of it this time? or just move on?
A lot of this was TOO MUCH TOO SOON in my opinion, thats why this happened....
Your answers will be cherished
Cheers
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Comments
Fucking hell, you're a moron.
I agree with this last bit :yes: Sounds like you've been little if no challenge for her and monopolising her time might have made you look a little needy/clingy. May I ask...Have you also told you how you feel already (before she's told you her feelings)?
She obviously likes you from the things you've said. My advice is leave her alone for a few days (let her realise how much she misses/likes you and let her make the next move). It'll make you seem much more desirable to be "difficult to get".
Also, don't get flustered into saying stuff you don't mean e.g. like asking for a friendly drink - you don't want just friendship, do you? Much better to be a little cocky (but not overbearing or arrogant), funny and tease.
Thanks for your reply, this is more like what i was looking for,I have indeed told her my feelings and she has told me hers for me (She likes me, we get on so well and click but its all to soon, lets be slow about it) thts what she said and im more than happy with that.
Thanks for your advice regarding me to leave her alone, thats what im doing but i do reply to her txts
kind regards
What??
eta: ignore MattLiverpool, he's a fool.
If I give you AN idea, will you tell me what you think? ...Okay, unfortunately this girl has told you that she isn't ready for relationship. Do you think its possible she's trying to be nice and turn down a relationship gently. Girls just aren't so cruel to say "f**k off and leave me alone".
I hope you don't think I am contradicting my above advice but simply adding another theory. I still think your best approach is giving her space....
There is nothing wrong with taking things slow not everyone wants to shag each other on their first date.
Exactly what iam doing bud (giving her space)
As for her gently telling me to fuck off well i heard a bit more info today from what her mate has told me....shes said that shes said that she hopes 1 day she will be ready to start a relationship with me properly so fingers crossed eh!
Cheers
Ekk, I didn't mean to make it sound so blunt! Sometimes its handy to put yourself in her position to try and workout what someone is thinking... Especially handy though when you can first hand info like you have done
Perhaps just going somewhere for a little chat and a bite to eat, tell her that you like her and just see if she feels the same way. You could tell her that you dont mind waiting a while if thats what she needs.
At the end of the day its all down to how long your willing to wait, its not a nice position to be in. You could always leave it a few weeks and see where it leads you, dont get your hopes up too much but at the same time keep an interest. At the end of a month if she is still being weird with it all then its not really ment to be.
Hope it all works out for you mate :thumb:
Much appreciated
or maybe it makes him seem like he respects her wish to wait. Some girls do want to wait til they feel more certain about the guy. it's nothing to do with living in the past, some girls don't want a quick shag just coz it's on offer, it doesn't mean that she thinks sex is bad...just that she doesn't want to rush into anything at that point.
Mate im sorry but i really dont know what the fuck u mean!
To be perfectly honest the last thing on my mind at the moment with this girl is sex. If that is all u think about when u meet a girl well im sorry but ur rather shallow.
i dont actually recall saying once in any of my posts that im waiting for her to let me have sex with her so..........
This aint got nothing to do with sex at all, i came on here and asked a normal question which some rather normal and informative people replied to and gave me good answers which im greatfull for.
In my experience, it's always best to ignore people from Liverpool. It's something ni the water I think.
What? Do you know everyone in Liverpool to support that statement? I'm from Liverpool...Have my comments offended you too?
Clearly irony is completely wasted on you newbie pants...
why thank you, i was born there!!!
Thanks mate, very good reply
Does infact make a lot of sence....
cheers
tranceaddict - keep playing it cool. Don't do what you were doing before, texting her all the time etc because it will make it seem like you're smothering her and kind of obsessive as well.
Ignore MattLiverpool, tbh. He's an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about.
No it's not. Unless the drinking water of the greater Liverpool area is fed by the Mersey which I highly doubt.
And what, may I ask, has lead you to the most erudite conclusion that I'm 'obviously the kind of person who laughs at their own jokes'?
But when we were together we just seemed to chill, or maybe i wasnt putting enough direction in it i dunno?
But i wanted to play it cool and not make my feelings to obious and show how much i want her and end up like one of the other guys chasing her around, but then im worried about leaving it too long and ending up as mates, so i did eventually 5 days ago tell her i like her and didnt know if she felt it too e..t.c, which led her cooming round saying she does like me but lets just take it slow and a kiss on the4 way out, but when i think about all the things shes done around e.t.c it makes me think she must be well interested but then i think if she isnt maybe shes just comfatable around me and telling her my feelings will malke her uncomftable cos she will always mean ,more as a friend whatever happens and i really care about her...
Realationshits....
I believe that a relationship built on sex only is like a home build on quicksand....it's going to sink eventually. If you have deeper feelings for her then slow down and respect her for her brains, personality and character before jumping her bones. Get to know her first and make her feel special!