Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Arguing...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
How much arguing is too much between a couple?
Just recently me and my boyfriend have been aruging about once a week, by arguing i mean one of us getting very annoyed and it ending in us both crying/upset. Its such a wast of time and energy but it seems that things he says and his tone of voice can really annoy me and put me in a mood so easily recently.
We've been living 2oo miles apart since i finished uni and came home in june and see each other about once every three weeks and speak daily on the phone but i cant help but get pissed off at him and i dont know why. My reaction to getting annoyed with him has changed too, before i would always appologise and say sorry and end the row by saying it was my fault and then we'd forget it but now a days when he winds me up or whatever i just feel like telling him to fuck off and hang up the phone...infact this seems to be my reaction to rowing with anyone, not just him. I never used to be like this, i kind of feel like ive become...arrogant (cant think of any other word for it) like when im annoyed by someone i just want to walk away and ignore them, like i cant be bothered to sort it out and that id rather just come back later and pretend the row never happened...but my bf hates it, he always wants to keep talking and fix things now but i find it so hard to calm down and bite my tongue and not to be bitchy, i kind of feel like cos im the one who got annoyed he wants me to back down first but it takes so long and i resent all the appologies i have given for so long.

Obviously the problem is me... what do i do? can anyone relate? Am i just a complete bitch? What does it all mean cos i dont understand it but cant control it either. :(

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can.

    Everything was all rosey and stuff and now, he just pisses me off so much, I feel that he has no respect for me what so ever when hes talking to me and just nothing I do is enough. Sigh, men.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're arguing regularly about nothing much apart from being pissed off with each other then it sounds like to you need to sort out something fundamental in the relationship or call it a day.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't consider once a week to be a lot, sometimes me and my gf argue at least once a day.

    I don't know why, maybe we're both a bit arsey sometimes..

    I think some people just argue though - ya know?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like you're arguing as a cover and distraction from missing each other if you're far apart atm.
    It's harder to miss someone if you're arguing all the time but if all you have are great memories it gets more painful.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    If you're arguing regularly about nothing much apart from being pissed off with each other then it sounds like to you need to sort out something fundamental in the relationship or call it a day.

    aye, the most important thing is not how often you argue, but what you argue about.

    if you are arguing about something real, like money or jealousy or time together, it'e better than if you argue just cause the other annoys you. generally in a fight there's an issue that needs resolving, and you bring that with you. then afterwards you try to resolve it, and hopefully you won't have the same fight again. if the issue is just the other person, understandably that leaves you stuck.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CheeseOnToast wrote:
    I don't consider once a week to be a lot, sometimes me and my gf argue at least once a day.

    I don't know why, maybe we're both a bit arsey sometimes..

    I think some people just argue though - ya know?
    Its true. Some days me and the bf will argue daily. Sometimes we go for months without a argument. We get on really well together but sometimes im not on his vibe or he isn't on mine. I dont think you can put a limit/amount on arguments, but you will know when enough is enough. Or when you have had enough.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Id have to agree with the above.
    I think it'd be way to weird if me and mar lady didnt argue. Every couple should do i think. Just shows that you both give a shit. hehe.
    But i think its obvious when you step over the line of "arguing" and out-right fighting....its a line only you can tell in my opinion.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AlmightyBob wrote:
    Id have to agree with the above.
    I think it'd be way to weird if me and mar lady didnt argue. Every couple should do i think. Just shows that you both give a shit. hehe.
    But i think its obvious when you step over the line of "arguing" and out-right fighting....its a line only you can tell in my opinion.


    Yeah you're right, I'm stil working on not that crossing the line all the time lol
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see to me, arguing once a week would be quite worrying. me and my ex-ish boyfriend have never had an arguement in the nearly 8 months. neither of us like arguing, and even if we needed to we'd sort it out another way. it's not like we didn't annoy each other, we just didn't have any reason to argue. but i guess if it's only over trivial things it shouldn't really matter. still though, there's no need to argue so often.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~*Girl_Interrupted*~ wrote:
    In my opinion, arguments in relationships are healthy as it shows you both feel able to express yourself in front of each other and sort out any issues you may have.


    at the same time doesn't mean those who don't argue don't have a healthy relationship. you don't have to argue to sort your differences out.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lucifer devil wrote:
    at the same time doesn't mean those who don't argue don't have a healthy relationship. you don't have to argue to sort your differences out.

    As long as you both feel you can communicate your views/worries.
    Some people feel that being able to rant and rave at their partner is important, but if you can do it through sitting down and discussing it then I don't see a problem.

    I'm not a shouting person, I sit and talk about things calmly, but I still feel terrible afterwards and like i've just had an argument.
Sign In or Register to comment.