What have i done!?

Former Member · October 2005

Went out with an amazing guy at the end of last week - kinda knew each other already but this was even better, we got on really well and just totally clicked for the whole evening. so much so that i did something i dont usually do at all and ended up going back to his. It wasnt awkward in the morning either - he was lovely and it was like almost as if we were together properly. he even made me lunch and drove me home!

he had to go away for the weekend so didnt really expect to hear much from him. however, since i last text him to see what he was up to this week it feels like what i have got back is a string of excuses - tired, going out, 'might be busy'. But it just seems so strange and unrelated to last week. I am just so cross with myself for letting it go so far. I now feel embarassed and stupid that i want to see him again and he seemingly doesnt seem bothered.

ok, so maybe i'm being naive and he's got what he wanted, end of story but i cant quite agree with that because the date wasnt like that...the fact that we slept together was only a natural end to things because it was going so well. i now feel paranoid that i have done something wrong, the only thing i can think of is that i was bad in bed. Now, i'm not the most experienced but i'm not stupid!

I just feel so stupid and ridiculous for actually letting myself get into that situation. i didnt regret it one bit over the weekend but now it all seems to be falling apart. should i not have text him asking to meet up again?! he knows we're going to see each other round uni and at work so i blatantly do not understand how he can just brush me off. especially when i actually thought he was a decent guy.

grrrr. :banghead: i think i'm more cross cos i was having feeling so lucky (which is rare for me) last week and now i'm back to square one again

Former Member · October 2005

Please don't let it get you down. Some people just like the thrill of the chase, and once they've got what they want, they quickly lose interest. It wasn't you - it's just the way it works sometimes, as harsh as it is. Believe me, I've been there, and sometimes the best thing to do is look back upon it as a good date, good sex, and leave it at that.

I wouldn't contact him for now, if he wants to get back to you, he will.

Former Member · October 2005

i know i shoudl try and stay positive but i'm not very good at it! had a really stressful day at uni today and this topped it all off. Thing is, i hate the 'play hard to get' thing. cant people just like each other and get on with it?! why do i have to play games?!! i'm not going to get in touch again tho i really regret saying i wanted to see him again now. cos then means that he hasnt got the excitement anymore.

oh bugger it.

sorry - got into mini ramble again there.

thanks for your advice tho....if anything ever works out i'll post again!

c'est la vie.

Former Member · October 2005

Well, I don't see the whole 'playing hard to get thing' as a game, I just won't be intimate with someone who I'm interested in for my own protection. Physical and emotional.

I had to learn the hard way. About a year and a half ago, I met a guy who I thought was wonderful, I would have worshipped the ground he worked on. That's the way he started off anyway. We'd go out, take long walks etc, however, it was pretty obvious he wanted sex. I had just started taking medication, and was pretty vulnerable, so one night I gave in. I ended up with enough cutting and brusing below the waist to warrant a trip to hospital where I needed a long course of anti-biotics as well as other delights. The physical scarring will never go away, it's there for life, but not noticable, I consider myself lucky.

Anyway, I digress, and that wasn't intended as a cautionary tale. But when it comes to me - I won't give in like that again until I can trust the person, and it'll certainly take more than one date to do that. I've also learned to judge a person on their actions - not by what they say. It helps to separate all the sweet things someone might be telling you - because most of the time it's what you want to hear.

It's frustrating, and damn lonely at times, but it has helped me to weed out those who have just wanted me for one thing. I'm now in the early stages with a new guy and while we're taking the pace slowly, it's going well.

There *are* diamonds in the rough

Former Member · October 2005

hmm i guess

i guess so, i just think i'm scared of not being intimate and in a relationship with someone i guess i dont see anything wrong with letting my guard down. i mean if i'm comfortable with it at the time surely thats ok?

But i guess guys see this as being 'desperate' or 'clingy' even though i try my best not to be i still always get it wrong. I'm scared if i dont show them i'm interested i'll lose them. I guess i'll jsut have to be a bit more self controlled.

its all so confusing. Cos i did what i felt comfortable with for once - i wasnt stressing about asking to see him again because it didnt feel wierd or wrong. I stayed with him because i never felt uncomfortable about the situation. Now its all turned itself topsy turvy and he probably thinks i'm some clingy bitch now.

its embarassing more than anything. i guess i got my hopes up again and made a mess of it.

What have i done!?

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