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Politics + Relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Do you think supporting different political parties can have a big effect on a relationship? Perhaps cause it to end...perhaps be the be all and end all of a relationship?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I don't think I could have a relationship with someone whose politics differed that wildly from my own....I could cope with a Lib Dem (half of them are old SDP peeps & so share many social democratic values anyway) but I couldn't imagine going out with a raging Tory - potential for far too many arguments...

    Actually the first guy that kissed me was a die hard Conservative - it lasted 2 weeks. his politics were probably a factor in that, as it's impossible for any kind of relationship to develop if you're thinking 'my God, what a twat' half the time.

    I met my partner at Bristol Uni Labour Club! :D

    But saying that, you never know. Everyone is different and there were many more things that irritated me about the first guy than his politics, and many more reasons why I love my current bloke than the fact that he ticks the same box on the ballot paper as me.

    Why do you asK? Are you going out with your political opposite?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex was a Tory and ive grown up in a Liberal household. Two people have said this was probably part of the problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I could be cynical and say that supporting different parties is a fallacy- they're all the same anyway.

    If you are radically different on life outlook then it could be a problem, IMHO relationships work best when the two partners largely agree on most of the fundamentals of life.

    It depends on whether you both consider politics a fundamental of life. I do, but not everybody does.

    I couldn't go out with someone who had radically different political ideals to me. But that doesn't mean you can't- how big a deal is someone's politics for you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fairy wrote:
    My ex was a Tory and ive grown up in a Liberal household. Two people have said this was probably part of the problem.

    It depends on how vocal you both were about politics....

    If it was something that rarely came up, it probably wasn't a huge part of the problem. But as Kermit hinted, politics often come attached with certain values and outlooks which can cause just as many arguments as discussions about the politics themselves.

    What do you reckon? Do you think it was part of it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well politics have never really been a huge thing for me, but after going out with him i think they did effect it to a certain degree. I guess we just didnt agree on some things in life. He was very set in his ways. He once said to me he liked the fact that im liberal, yet he was quite different. I think he tried to break down his barrier a bit, but in the end couldnt. I just think he was a snob lol :p Im just considering all the aspects for next time round.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don';t have the same outlook you'll fail, it is not necessarily about politics.

    Next time you may find he wants babies now and you don't, for instance.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was probably only a part of it. I think he would love to be in a luxurious bar smoking a cigar, whilst i would rather be at a rock gig going crazy. Id enjoy having a holiday in a tent and he would probably only go if it was a five star hotel. Id travel economy, but he would only go first class. LOL :p bad experiment!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fairy wrote:
    Do you think supporting different political parties can have a big effect on a relationship? Perhaps cause it to end...perhaps be the be all and end all of a relationship?

    Can definitely be a factor, depends how dogmatic the individuals are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've just broken up with someone who was in favour of 'foreigners returning to wherever they came from'..The debates were quite fun but tended to get heated and he used to wind me up by calling anyone of a different skin colour a 'terrorist'..

    Oh gosh I've just realised what a twat he is.

    Anywho I dont think I could date someone who was a die-hard Tory as someone said previously but slightly right-wingish is okay as long as you both respect eachother's viewpoints.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    I've just broken up with someone who was in favour of 'foreigners returning to wherever they came from'..The debates were quite fun but tended to get heated and he used to wind me up by calling anyone of a different skin colour a 'terrorist'..

    Oh gosh I've just realised what a twat he is.

    Anywho I dont think I could date someone who was a die-hard Tory as someone said previously but slightly right-wingish is okay as long as you both respect eachother's viewpoints.

    Sounds like my ex! He turned out to be rather narrow minded and racist in a way!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehe. At the time the 'terrorist' thing seemd to be an inside joke..Sort of tongue in cheek. Usual routine, he makes an innocent face and I act all shocked and offended *cue kiss*

    Now I realise what an absolute knobber he is and the 'terrorist' thing probably wasn't tongue in cheek at all but the tip of the iceberg. Probably collects swastikas..The facist.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Hehe. At the time the 'terrorist' thing seemd to be an inside joke..Sort of tongue in cheek. Usual routine, he makes an innocent face and I act all shocked and offended *cue kiss*

    Now I realise what an absolute knobber he is and the 'terrorist' thing probably wasn't tongue in cheek at all but the tip of the iceberg. Probably collects swastikas..The facist.

    Haha! :) Exactly what i found! Thought it was tongue and cheek, but the amount he went on about how he hated black people just pissed me off so much! And the racist stories his dad used to tell him...did my head in majorly as my friends are from all over the world! Had a friend who was even worse than him! Think i called him a Nazi once :) Feel sorry for whoever next has to put up with it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I have to admit. I did feel slightly uncomfortable introducing him to my Mauritian friend.

    Direct quote. I shit you not:

    'All chinese people look the same'
    *Reena (friend) raises eyebrow*
    'Yeah but asian people are cool'

    Oh deary me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Yeah I have to admit. I did feel slightly uncomfortable introducing him to my Mauritian friend.

    Direct quote. I shit you not:

    'All chinese people look the same'
    *Reena (friend) raises eyebrow*
    'Yeah but asian people are cool'

    Oh deary me.

    Jesus thats bad! I made friends with some Caribbean girls, was no way i could have had them in the same room! He couldnt even deal with the fact that a white friend of mine dates black guys. Was nothing to do with him anyway!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would he be openly racist to them then? :o
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Would he be openly racist to them then? :o

    Not openly, but i still wouldnt have liked to be in that situation as i know he would have said stuff about them after! Such a wanker! Grrrrr!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehe. Happy to bond with you over our swastika toting ex's!

    The girl who said that she met her boyfriend at a Labour meeting type thing has definitely made me think :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it would be a big problem over in England but here it would, and has in the past, same with religion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Hehe. Happy to bond with you over our swastika toting ex's!

    The girl who said that she met her boyfriend at a Labour meeting type thing has definitely made me think :chin:

    :D Definately! The first thing im looking for in my next partner is someone whos not racist! Is it really much to ask?! Mind you ive never had this problem before, dont think its that usual!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    I don't think it would be a big problem over in England but here it would, and has in the past, same with religion.

    Yeah my ex had an Irish friend who had particular problems with people of different races.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would be a huge problem to me if my partner was a conservative. Couldn't do it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I could be cynical and say that supporting different parties is a fallacy- they're all the same anyway.

    If you are radically different on life outlook then it could be a problem, IMHO relationships work best when the two partners largely agree on most of the fundamentals of life.

    It depends on whether you both consider politics a fundamental of life. I do, but not everybody does.

    I couldn't go out with someone who had radically different political ideals to me. But that doesn't mean you can't- how big a deal is someone's politics for you?
    I could date a conservative because I have a gay brother and there's no way I'm ever being a housewife. In fact politically my partner would have to be left wing for us to get along.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to a racist, racism isnt serious, its a laugh and a joke down the pub with their mates
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I would find the lack of opinion on politics even more annoying than a different one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    I think I would find the lack of opinion on politics even more annoying than a different one.

    True, I think that would piss me off too. Not that I believe that everyone must be a political geek like me but a sense of understanding of the importance of politics is a must
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fairy wrote:
    The first thing im looking for in my next partner is someone whos not racist!

    And he won't want to date another pathetic woolly liberal:D
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