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What to do?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
feelin a little depressed tonight...boyfriend troubles AGAIN!
would seem if he moans at me I am expected to be grateful that he is still with me, I moan at him I am a possessive, manipulative cow/bitch
Still the double standards should be the other way around!
the other night i didnt want sex at that moment in time so said no - he said fine will find someone who does want it so i did it. tonight he has gone out with his ex and her girlmate clubbin - getting drunk - whatever you call it i find it very unfair.
He can have his mates and expect to have them with no comment from me, but he can comment on my mates freely.
I think its come to the end now, i want to end the 2 year relationship so I can begin to feel more confident with my obvious "fat" body and "gold diggin" attitude :rolleyes: had enough now
would seem if he moans at me I am expected to be grateful that he is still with me, I moan at him I am a possessive, manipulative cow/bitch
Still the double standards should be the other way around!
the other night i didnt want sex at that moment in time so said no - he said fine will find someone who does want it so i did it. tonight he has gone out with his ex and her girlmate clubbin - getting drunk - whatever you call it i find it very unfair.
He can have his mates and expect to have them with no comment from me, but he can comment on my mates freely.
I think its come to the end now, i want to end the 2 year relationship so I can begin to feel more confident with my obvious "fat" body and "gold diggin" attitude :rolleyes: had enough now
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Nah sorry I think I typed it too fast didnt make sense, basically he said if i didnt have sex with him then he would find someone else so i did it just to please him and keep him there, then i hear is off out with his ex coz she wants him to go out or vice versa so he goes out with her clubbin and it annoys me - he says i am manipulative but he can just change my views like that!
Given that, AFAIK, your bf reads these mesage boards, I think the answer is obvious, and you are just trying to chuck him without the confrontation.
Nah he never ventures into this forum only ever onto the politics one, has his view then leaves.
I don't want to make a mistake by dumping him, but the way I see it although he has bought me a nice expensive pair of trainers, taken me out etc its not the money he spends but the quality time we spend, I am personaly fed up of sex - really gone off it (not because of him but it has to be when I am ready for it to be real special!) I would be happy with a cuddle, sit out under the stars and talk just be a couple together but he would only do that if alcohol was concerned or something selfish
Offer him a nite out on the piss or a nite cuddling well he would go for the first alcohol and sex is all that matters to him a night out with a fiesty ex and lots of alcohol then wonders why i am unhappy about it
He buys you things. It's alright, I guess. But does he put any meaning or thought into the gifts? Does he spend time with you, or does he always just try to make up the quality time by flashing the cash?
You can't buy quality time. Quality time is the most important thing in a relationship.
Is he cheating on you, or just threatening to? Either way its bad, and I think that if he is using emotional blackmail to make you have sex then you need to sling your hook. If he's using your anxieties to force you to have sex its no wonder you never feel in the mood.
You sound like you have very different life goals at this time- you want the romancing and the settling down, he just wants to fuck. Fair enough, its his choice and its your choice. But if you don't have the same goals then a relationship won't work.
Think of it like this- would it be a relief if you split up? Factor out the fear of being alone and eaten by an Alasatian, and answer that question honestly.
Must admitt your not too bad really
thanks for that, he isn't cheating, well not that I know of but the threats are bad enough, they make me feel bad and I lose confidence fast around him.
The presents are lovely things like trainers they are lovely i really appreciate it but at the end of the day i cannot compete with the alcohol and sex if we lie down for a cuddle his hand is down my pants, i cant take it anymore i am better off out
if any boyfriend of mine said that to me i'd say fuck off. sorry, but i would. it's out of order that, and no matter how nice he might've been, he shouldn't say things like that and then go off getting drunk with an ex-girlfriend!
It sounds like he doesnt even like you very much, and you certainly shouldnt be putting up with the way hes behaving.
If you put yourself out as a doormat, dont be surprised if people wipe their feet on you.
Cause it sounds like he still has a total lack of respect for you. If you finished it, would you feel any worse than he's making you feel already?
And your still with this person ?
People treating you like this is not going to help your self esteem, telling him you've had enough will do you a lot of good.
Yes, if you loved him a break up will hurt for a bit, but while your with him this type of hurt will go on and on and on just like the duracell bunny
Watching corrie recently i can almost link his behaviour to Charlies, such a shame but its no good buttering me up with nice presents and stuff then expecting me to just accept all he says, i am not a robot, i DO have feelings!
you cant just have sex because ur afraid he will go else where. thats just pressuring you! and i think his comment fine will find someone who does want it . just demonstrates that your relationship is just about sex to him, not about being close to you and showing his emotions. when your in a long term relationship sex becomes more than just goin through the motions! he obviously doesnt share this view!
if i dont feel like sex my boyfriend will always tell me that its ok and that he would rather do it when i really want it because it means more to him! obviously it bothers him but he puts my feelings first! it sounds like ur guy is a bit more selfish and i get the impression you are not happy.
It sounds as if you have made up your mind!!!!!!! i no it is hard actually doing the breaking up, and it takes guts to do it when you have been with them for a long time, but trust me it will make you a stronger person!
if u do however decide to stay with him explain that its not all about going throught the motions of sex or just flashing the cash and buying you stuff. explain to him that you dont need him to spend money on you to make you feel special, in fact quite the opposite. suggest getting in the mood by setting the atmosphere and being romantic. cooking you dinner and lighting some candles. that shows a bit more thought and commitment than just a quick bonk!
good luck in whatever you decide!
that would make me VERY happy but it doesnt happen like that
Thanks for the advice