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sharing my feelings

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've always been a bit insecure and have always worried about my girlfriend running off with someone else, getting bored of me etc. When things happen to make me worry, such as someone chatting her up or bumping into her ex, I usually start to worry and end up telling her all about it and how I feel. But I know this isn't really a nice thing to have to do, hear you boyfriend go on about how insecure he is and how he worries about these things. She says she wants me to talk to her about this rather then keep it to myself and she wouldn't like to think of me bottleing it all up. I'm just concerned that if I do keep talking to her about it then it's just going to drive a wedge between us or push her into doing what I worry about (going off with another bloke, leaving me etc.).

My question is, should I just try and deal with it on my own and hide these feelings form her, or should I continue to talk to her about it?

I know it's generally good to be open with your feelings, but surely this is a problem I have that I should just 'get over' and not bring her down with me?

Any advice would be much appreciated

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A bit of both maybe. I'm probably not the one to talk because I tend to act in a similar way, but then again I know the damage it can do!
    Maybe try having one last talk, letting her know exactly how you feel, then trying your best to deal with it without constantly bringing it up. (I managed to bring down that wedge by forgetting that there were two people in the relationship, both with their own issues...)
    But obviously, if it really is still bothering you DO talk to her about it because if you bottle it up the paranoia (sp?) of it all will just keep building up and that can drive an even bigger theoretical wedge.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes if i have a shitty day i might get a bit low about things with my boyfriend and dwell on things..making mountains out of molehills and getting myself all worked up. thing is i know the next day that i'll feel soo much better and be like omg what was i on about, i'm really happy with him and everything's going really well. i tend to get a bit low when i'm tired so i never really say anything to him 'cause i know it's not how i feel really.

    your girlfriend says she wants to know how you're feeling, if she didn't..she wouldn't say she did. if you think it will help or make you feel better then tell her..she might put your mind at ease. but it doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:
    My question is, should I just try and deal with it on my own and hide these feelings form her, or should I continue to talk to her about it?
    very simply... you should do whatever is best for you. but what you should not do is try and talk and be open if you're only doing it because you think that you should do it... at the end of the day, i'm sure your gf just wants you to be yourself, and i'm sure she accepts you as you are. so just do whatever is best for you. :)
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