Scared of them being bad?!

Former Member · August 2005

Has anyone ever stopped things going further with someone they really like and respect because of a fear of them being bad in bed/at foreplay and you cringing?

I know that in the past when I've been with someone who's not that good, I've cringed and it's a big turn off. And I'm kinda in the situation where it could go either way.

Former Member · August 2005

It is quite unusual for anybody to be great on their first sexual encounter together ... this is where communication needs to come in .... talk her through and help her to be better ...

Former Member · August 2005

Very true... I'm a girl by the way!

Former Member · August 2005

natos wrote:

I'm a girl by the way!

Oops! Sorry ....

Well, I guess that you would be worried that this guy would be stabbing away at you in a unexperienced way .... I think that you do need to take control then and guide him through the stages of making you feel good ... I know you may feel embarressed now but it would set the scene for good communication and a better sex life in the future. You should not have to just grin and bear it if he is crap but you could make him so much better!

Good luck!

Former Member · August 2005

Yeah I'm going to overcome this embarrassment at some point. Thanks for the advice, very helpful. He's a good mate of mine, and if it does get to the stage where we cross the 'friend' boundaries (I suppose in a way we have by even kissing) and it goes badly, then I'll just have to bite the bullet and take control. He's important to me and I think that's why I'm a little worried.

Thanks! x

Former Member · August 2005

Why do you think he will be bad by the way? Have you heard reports ... ?

Former Member · August 2005

well i heard the last chick he spent time with reported that he came in her belly button but natos that doesnt mean hes bad, its just he likes trying new exciting things

Former Member · August 2005

natos wrote:

Has anyone ever stopped things going further with someone they really like and respect because of a fear of them being bad in bed/at foreplay and you cringing?

I get it the other way around, I find I'm afraid of doing things because i'm scared i'll be bad / not know what to do etc

Former Member · August 2005

David Grohl wrote:

well i heard the last chick he spent time with reported that he came in her belly button but natos that doesnt mean hes bad, its just he likes trying new exciting things

Ha ha well if that happened I'd be pretty damn worried!

I don't know he's going to be bad, I just have a feeling. I have been with a guy who was amazing in bed, and with 3 others who were average. Maybe my expectations are too high and I want him to be amazing, but I'm scared I'll be disappointed if he's not. Not a very good way of thinking, I know.

I'm probably just analyising the situation too much and should just go with flow.... I suppose sex is better anyway if it's with someone you have strong feelings for.

Former Member · August 2005

if you go in that mind set then you'll be probably disappointed, i'd leave it for a while. when you learn not to think about too much, you'll have fun and enjoy it, your right you over analysing it. go for it and loosen up and enjoy it. its supposed to be fun not a military operation nor a game of minds

Former Member · August 2005

natos wrote:

Ha ha well if that happened I'd be pretty damn worried!

I don't know he's going to be bad, I just have a feeling. I have been with a guy who was amazing in bed, and with 3 others who were average. Maybe my expectations are too high and I want him to be amazing, but I'm scared I'll be disappointed if he's not. Not a very good way of thinking, I know.

I'm probably just analyising the situation too much and should just go with flow.... I suppose sex is better anyway if it's with someone you have strong feelings for.

ummm I think it's rediculous that you think he may be bad in bed because he came in someones belly button . Big deal , maybe he pulled out so he wouldn't come inside her and came on her stomach . If this makes someone a bad lover then I suck !

Former Member · August 2005

Ski Commando wrote:

ummm I think it's rediculous that you think he may be bad in bed because he came in someones belly button . Big deal , maybe he pulled out so he wouldn't come inside her and came on her stomach . If this makes someone a bad lover then I suck !

It wasn't Natos that said that ....

Former Member · August 2005

it was me.....

but any natos.....most people worry about themselves being shite in bed so chill out and let the funky love dance begin

Former Member · August 2005

How can someone be bad at an instinct?

That's like being bad at eating. It doesn't make any sense at all.

Former Member · August 2005

natos wrote:

Very true... I'm a girl by the way!

Its only a girl that would make that statment, a boy would be asking
"how should I"

The answer might to her might be in the question for him.

If your thinking of him "doing it to you" rather than a two way street then your making a mistake.

If you just lie with him and do what comes that should be best, if he tries to come on fast with out knowing what to do then just slow him down a little, I mean sex isnt difficult you dont need to pass an exam (be fun though)

If your not going to go with a guy because you dont think he's experenced enough for you then dont complain that the guys you do go with might dump you or you wouldnt have love.

If you like him dont let that put you off.

Scared of them being bad?!

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