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Not feeling pretty enough...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
How do you cope with it?
I'm not an ugly girl but my boyfriend is, in my opinion, a very good looking guy, he's definately much better looking then me and sometimes it does get me down.

I fancied him from afar for a while before we actually "met", I noticed him for his looks, there's just something about his face that is truly beautful to me, like no other man I've ever met, and this was before I'd met him, before I knew he was a lovely man so there was no emotions tainting my view of him. I know it sounds shallow but i wanted him initially for his looks.

I, on the other hand am really a very average girl, when younger i was certainly lees then pretty, I've grown to be average, I have good teeth and "smilie" eyes, but I broke my nose when i was young and its crooked as a result. I dont get much attention from guys and i know that its my personality my boyfriend fell for...

...which should be enough but sometimes its not. There are times when I'll catch a view of him and it strikes me how goregous he is to look at, and I wonder how the hell I managed to win someone like him...and i feel sad that no one will ever look at me the way i look at him...i guess in a way im jealous of how hansome he is.

And i worry that other girls...and guys for that matter, look at us and wonder why hes with me, i see girls far more beautful then me everyday and i wish i was more like them. He two previosu proper girlfriends were both better looking then me, and ive met another two girls he had flings with during first year of uni before we met and they are very very attractive girls, i hate feeling like im the ugliest.

I know this all sounds very shallow but it does get me down and i just want peoples views on this kind of thing...sometimes hearing sense from someoen else can snap me out of my selfcentred misery. Heh.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He would not be with you if you were not attractive in his eyes. Plain and simple. Insecurity in ones self, in my opinnion, can be a relationship crusher. What ever you think and truly believe you are, in your mind, you become in reality. Your mind creates the the physical reality over a period of time. So becarfull what you choose to think about and focus on. Whatever you focus on, wether good or bad, in my oppinion will eventually come true.
    Bask in the beauty of your partner, and enjoy the ride. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy every moment. Why worry about tommorrow or yesterday if you are in his arms today?
    This very moment, "the now", is the only real moment. The past is gone, and tommorrow does not exist yet. You create tommorrow right now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always wonder what my boyfriend sees in me but I guess the saying 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' comes in here. I guess everyone finds different things beautiful! I'm sure your boyfriend thinks you're the most beautiful thing in this world just as you feel about him!
    If you're so worried, talk to him about it! I'm sure he'll just reassure you!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honey he wouldnt be with you if he thought you were ugly, you should try not to compare yourself to others as it will affect your relationship in the long run and you will become insecure and jealous, be confident in who you are and the beauty truely is in the eye of the beholder, how do you know blokes and girls are not looking at him thinking how lucky he is to have you on his arm. When i feel blue its always good to just go pamper or treat yourself, go get a facial or get your nails done, sometimes us girls have to do these little things to feel good about ourselves! lol but dam it works! keep smiling doll! :)

    On another note Inland Empire i have read a few of your replies and they are always so wonderfully put and insightful! keep up the good advice! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I constantly feel like this.Its been the same with every guy ive been with and is no different with my bloke now.Im always asking myself WHY anyone would want to be with a ranker like me and im pretty convinced that every guy im with was/is going to run off with someone prettier and skinnier.
    I cant offer you much advice but what i have noticed is that it doesnt matter how much dieting i do or how many designer haircuts i get or even how many flattering clothes i buy i still feel excruiatingly insecure about the way i look.
    I guess [im sorry this is painfully cheesey] that you need to look inside yourself and learn to love what is there instead of getting hung up on whats there on the outside.
    Even the some of the prettiest girls have horrendously ugly personalities.
    Looks are not everything,despite what we all seem to think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should be appreciative of your looks while you're at your "peak". One day you'll be shrivelled and old so you should be positive about yourself before you reach that point.

    Everyone has fears about themselves and few believe they are perfect. I bet your boyfriend looks in the mirror and sees all of his flaws too that you don't even notice - it's always worse when you're looking at them yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Alan wrote:
    You should be appreciative of your looks while you're at your "peak". One day you'll be shrivelled and old so you should be positive about yourself before you reach that point.

    Everyone has fears about themselves and few believe they are perfect. I bet your boyfriend looks in the mirror and sees all of his flaws too that you don't even notice - it's always worse when you're looking at them yourself.


    Alans right, be happy! hes with you so stop complaining. hes with you for a reason :naughty:

    by the way i didnt read the full thread so i could be off the mark completely
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always feel the same as you do, though I do get a lot of male attention. I just feel that, yes, these people may find me attractive, but if they really knew me, or if I was wearing different clothes, or if they saw me without make-up, they would find me disgusting. I'm incredibly insecure, to the point where I will go home from school if someone says something negative about my appearance.
    I, too, think my bf is the most gorgeous, wonderful, perfect person in the world, but like Alan said, he too is insecure. Hes always really self-conscious about his spots, or his lack-of muscles, but when I look at him, I don't even notice those things. I see his lovely big eyes and his soft lips and his art-fully gelled hair. So, the chances are, when your bf looks at you, or my bf looks at me, they don't see the little blemishes or faults we sometimes obsess over. As my bf often says to me when I'm really down about myself - he must love me, if he devotes so much of his time to me, if he tells you how he'd be nothing without you, etc etc. :)
    And i worry that other girls...and guys for that matter, look at us and wonder why hes with me, i see girls far more beautful then me everyday and i wish i was more like them. He two previosu proper girlfriends were both better looking then me, and ive met another two girls he had flings with during first year of uni before we met and they are very very attractive girls, i hate feeling like im the ugliest.

    I'm always feeling like that.. I can't even face going shopping in the city with him, as I feel like he's going to see that he can do far far better than me.. my boyfriend has been out with 17 girls in the past few years, most of them being the prettiest, most popular girls in the school.. I often think 'why is he going out with this clumsy, scruffy, dirty looking fake, with dried-up rat hair and too much make-up, when he could be with all these naturally beautiful, confident blondes who keep falling at his feet?'. I must be the oddest, least popular girl hes ever been out with, but if he thinks I'm special enough that he would lose his *ahem* virginity to me, when he's had plenty of oppurtunities beforehand with these immaculate air-heads, then I must be something special :D.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    will you please cheer the fuck up girls, the fellas love you no matter what way you look, do you honestly think they wouldnt be with you if they didnt like the little things about you. im going to go get my battering stick. smile you've got someone who cares for you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how do you know everyone else thinks your fella is drop dead though? you're slightly biased and are obviously going to think this! (not intended to be mean, i'm sure you're bf is lovely but you're always going to have a high opinion of his looks because you're his gf). chances are your boyfriend will have the same worries as you sometimes.
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