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Trust!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I always think everything is fine with me and my fella, but then somert comes up and I think 'why do I trust him' :banghead: He works from home and he's on the p.c all day, he's gone out tonight with his mates and I came on ere and his yahoo thing came on automatic, and this woman started talkin, she was in 30's, doesnt live in this country, married! So I just closed the convo, didnt bother speaking. Im just so fuked off with him, I caught him a couple of months ago flirting with this girl on net. He went round to this 'old mate' who was a girl and didnt tell me, I found out!!!

I cant trust him at all, be it with girls, money, were he's been. He told me didnt borrow money from his mate.... he did! He didnt tell me, and when I told him I knew he had a go at me! Just lately I think, why do I bother?? He always lies, not just to me either, to his mum, sister, dad, brother!!

I have ended it once cos I found out about the money but he promised me he would never lie. So I took him back.... like a fool. Sometimes I just think I've godda end it I cant be doing with him anymore, but I do love him.

I dunno what to do, When I confront him about stuff he talkes out of it :mad: :mad:

I am so mad!! :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey if that was me I would have chatted to her and see what she had to say for herself. It could be all innocent, don't you ever chat to people online?

    Maybe he didn't tell you about the money because he thought you might moan about it? Just trying to give the other point of view.

    I mean, is it big important stuff you can't trust him with or just silly things?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would have felt exactly the same way in your position. It's mutual between you and i. What u need to to is confront him and just explain why u feel this way etc etc. I would at least want to know if my gf had any suspicions. But i wouldnt act this way
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You might as well give him an ultimatum. In my experience, things that go bad in relationships tend to linger and that's gonna be the only way you'll find out whether it's salvageable or not, and if not, you're only hurting youself being around him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Probs I am going OTT, but on his yahoo he only has people he knows..... so he says :yeees:

    I dunno what to do for best, I said to him 'if you take that money and dont tell me, then its over' he took the money, and the relationship was over for about a minute.

    I dunno what to do, I just feel angry at him:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try acting like an adult and stop being so damn controlling.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not surprised he lies to you when you react with such jealousy at every little thing. He obviously knows how you'd react, so he doesn't bother telling you things. That is what happens when you are controlling, jealous and possessive.

    If you don't trust him then there's no point staying in the relationship. But lets not sit here and slate your boyfriend for being untrustworthy, it is you that is unable to trust him.

    I have several good girl friends, and I flirt with them. I's not uncommon, and it's not a signal of anything else. He wants to go to his friends houses, if you don't let him then he will anyway, and just lie to you to avoid the argument.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I'm not surprised he lies to you when you react with such jealousy at every little thing. He obviously knows how you'd react, so he doesn't bother telling you things. That is what happens when you are controlling, jealous and possessive.

    If you don't trust him then there's no point staying in the relationship. But lets not sit here and slate your boyfriend for being untrustworthy, it is you that is unable to trust him.

    I have several good girl friends, and I flirt with them. I's not uncommon, and it's not a signal of anything else. He wants to go to his friends houses, if you don't let him then he will anyway, and just lie to you to avoid the argument.

    I never said I dont let him at his mates house........ I do let him :rolleyes:

    I told him about the money n stuff, tell me if you are gonna take and he said no. I trust him more than he trusts me! Its the fact he lies to me that does my nut in :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    secrets and lies are the worst things. If you dont know the full story or if the things someone says dont add up - people jump to their own conclusions and half the time its the wrong one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't trust him then don't stay with him, there's no point.
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