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Bad sex put you off

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Imagine you met someone and casually dated them a few times, got on quite well, texted and called each other. They are not really your "boyfriend" but they are more than a friend. Then after a while, one time you meet, you have sex, but it's so disappointing, there is no chemistry, it's unromantic, over in seconds... it's the same story in the morning.

Would you stick around for another try, or keep it at being friends? I like this guy a lot, but I don't want to have sex with him again...I'm a believer in sexual chemistry and while it doesn't have to be fantastic the first couple of times, there has to be some potential there.

What do you think? Am I being shallow?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No - although sex should not be the biggest issue in a realtionship, it is important that you are sexually compatable .... otherwise you will have extra strain put on the relationship which could ultimately lead to either one of you straying if you don't get what you need. Just stay friends with the person.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If sex doesnt work, it doesnt work. You cant force it. If there isnt chemistry its not a good sign that there is going to be any.... It could improve as your feelings for each other change.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    unless you communicate i dont think you can ever fully appreciate sex i think everyone has different things they like and maybe just telling him what you'd prefer or what makes things better for you would help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest i have to agree with lexi. I always believe in having that small spark of sexual tension in any sort of relationship, be it casual or serious. If it's not there then i myself would walk away. It's not yours or his fault that it's not there, it's just fate and one of those things. But then i'm a firm believer in the sexual side is just as important as anything else in a relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All good advice above, but I'd add these two cents.

    Firstly have you tried TALKING to him about it?

    Secondly, It takes a couple times in bed to work out what really works for your partner. Sounds like it was all over in 30 seconds. :banghead: annoying, but it doesn't mean that it has to be all over. Personally I'd TALK to him and see what happens.

    They are right that you can't do anything about chemistry, but it can sometimes take a little bit of time to develop.

    I was in exactly the same position as you, dumped the girl and ended up regretting it. (Luckilly we are back together now :yippe: )
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The key to a better sex is communication. When you will meet her again try to open a discussion about your hopes and desires related to sex. If she is interested in having a relation with you, then she will take into consideration your concerns
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry Princess, your partner is a 'he' not a 'she'. Please apologize.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I began writing something I thought was insightful and then realised that I am a virgin and my opinion or advice would not even be close to relevant and would be utterly useless, so I edited my post in a matter of seconds and this is what I have left you all with. An explination of nothing.

    Enjoy.
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