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What up with Bf??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Am 18 and got a Boyfriend 26 who i live with, we both work full time and get on well apart from no sex!! I know hes nt cheating because he dnt go anywere or see anyone to cheat with!! We both work in the same building so i know what goes on! I dnt know wot to do to make him want it! Ive tried all sorts, I always try it on but get nothin! I know hes worried coz he ows money but is that it?? any ideas?? it cant go on like this i feel like there no closeness!
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If it is alot of money, then that probs is the cause of it? Have you tried talking to him about why he doesnt want sex? and the money stuff?? Is he loving apart from sex, like does he hug you, kiss you and stuff?
you say that you both work full time, perhaps his job is very stressful or even just physically tiring, its amazing what damage tiredness can do for your libido. if it is tiredness then perhaps you could arrange a romantic night, then give him a really nice sensual massage that would relax him and also get him in the mood.
the money worries could also be a major factor in him not wanting to have sex.that can put a lot of pressure on someone, do you know how much he owes and if he feels he can pay it back?if not, then financial worries could be gnawing away at him all the time, making sex the last thing on his mind.
no sex doesn't mean no closeness, i know it's a real cliche but emotional closeness can come from so many other things apart from sex-taking time out in an evening snuggled up on the sofa with some maltesers just talking, going out for a walk together somewhere really quiet....okay these are probably crap ideas but i was trying to emphasise that there are many other ways to be close.
to be honest though, you can speculate all you want about why he doesn't want to have sex, but there are an infinite number of reasons and it'll only stress you out further.this is one of those things where you really just need to have an honest chat with your boyfriend if you want to get to the bottom of this.
I suspect you are underestimating the effect fatigue and stress have on the libido. YOu say he's a "bit worried" about money, that could in itself kill his libido, particularly if he isn't talking to you about the financial problems. And even if it is not that, full time qwork isn't always kind to the libido, quite often I get home from work and all I want to do is eat takeaway pizza, drink wine and go to sleep.
Well if it is £1000, then that will probs be the cause. Talk to him, my fella had money troubles and I bought the subject up and then when we talked about it he said he felt alot better for getting it off his chest. Talk to him! :thumb: