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is it normal to feel this way about an ex...?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
lots of you may have read previous posts of mine to do with me and my boyfriend, lots of trust issues etc. well now we've split up. i decided i just didnt trust him in the slightest and that a relationship is nothing without trust so i ended it.

i thought i'd be devastated, heartbroken, etc. but im actually feeling fine! obviously i think about him and i miss him a bit, but im quite happy... everyone has said they are shocked at how well im coping etc, and im just worried that maybe it hasnt sunk in yet properly, and the heart break is yet to come? or do you think it is possible to just all of a sudden not care about someone who you've been in love with for the past 3 years?!

has anyone else been in the same situation?? maybe it will sink in the next time i see him with another girl, but at the moment im just not bothered about us being split up at all and its kinda confusing me?! :confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't always have to be heartbroken at breaking up.

    In your case it sounds like you made the completely correct decision, and all you feel is relief that it is all over. It's not talked about, but it's not an uncommon feeling, really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You don't always have to be heartbroken at breaking up.

    In your case it sounds like you made the completely correct decision, and all you feel is relief that it is all over. It's not talked about, but it's not an uncommon feeling, really.

    Absolutely.

    It's possible that, yeah, it just hasn't sunk in yet...and maybe you'll be gutted in a week's time, or when you do see him with his new bit of fluff. However I really hope that it's just because you have the courage of your convictions, and are assured that you made the right decision (for what it's worth, I definitely think you did). I'm sure at some point you might feel a little longing for something you did together, something he said...but hopefully this won't affect you further than a wistful smile or a momentary sad thought.

    I hope you stay happy, I know most people would equate three years with an unpleasant break-up of some variety, but that's definitely not the case since you've done it for all the right reasons. Keep smiling :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you'd done your fretting about the relationship long ago, grieved for your loss and made a considered decision to end things, as a result you were well prepared for its conclusion and are now ready to get on with the rest of your life. Congratulations and good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was more relieved than anything when I broke up with my ex. He's a lovely guy and we're still great friends now, but I just didn't feel right being in a relationship with him. I understand that your situation is different, however - but I can assure you that not being upset by a breakup is nothing to fret about. It's not compulsory to grieve for days after breaking up with someone, in fact you're lucky to avoid that stage because nobody should have to go through pain like that.

    Hope that helps xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not weird.
    I hope for you sake that that is it and you dont feel heartbroken in a few weeks time when its sunk in a bit.
    I reckon if youve already come to terms with the relationship being over befor it ended then youve got it sorted.Doesnt mean you wont still miss him from time to time but you will just be much more rational about the sitation.
    Of course things might swing the other way and you might feel devasted in the not so distant future.Who can tell though.
    Its best to stop fretting about how you think you should be feeling and just take each day as it comes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your replies guys!! its nice to see that the majority of you think that i genuinely am happy with the seperation, and that the heart break isnt yet to come. im glad im not going insane! lol. thanks again, u all helped a lot! :heart:
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