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Not again...
Indrid Cold
Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
As I've mentioned before, for the last 8 years the same things have happened again and again:
Anyway, to the present: For the last few months I've been going out with a couple of groups of people (some people are the same in all, some aren't) but with one of these groups I've done more stuff than with the others. Two members of this group are Y and A.
Yesterday I got a phone call from A (who was away for a few weeks) and among other things, he mentioned us going to an island together for a few days on the 22nd, but I had never heard of that. He realised that Y (who was the one organising the trip) probably hadn't told me, and started offering some excuses like "He probably didn't tell you because we're an even number already, and if one more comes he'll have to pay for a whole room" and such.
This has upset me a lot, because I was talking to Y just the previous day and he never mentioned something like that (although about 2 months ago he said that he may organise one such trip in summer). Now my first reaction would have been to call Y and try to make conversation to see if he'd mention it, but he's away for the weekend so I can't reach him until tomorrow.
So what should I say? Just try to make conversation, see if he mentions it? Ask him outright why he didn't ask me to come? Ask him something like "What are you doing near the end of the month"? Try to find a more subtle way to fish out the information? Or should I give him the benefit of doubt and see if he mentions it by himself, either on the phone or in person in Tuesday (when we've planned to meet)? And even if he does mention it, how can I be sure that he did it because he meant to and not because A called him and said something like "I screwed up, I told Zal about the trip"?
I'm even more upset than normal because I've known Y for almost 13 years now and although we never were that close, we've never had trouble with each other either. And on the other hand, he did tell me the other day that we should arrange to meet at either one's house this summer (as we do every year).
If you've read so far, thanks and sorry if it didn't have much of a structure. I just hope it's not the same pattern happening again, I don't know how many times more I can take it... And I still have no idea what's so wrong with me that makes so many people so different to each other act the same way!
- I make new friends.
- We have some good times together (how good varies).
- Eventually (varies from 3 months to 7 years) they start acting distant and I get several clues that they don't want to hang out with me anymore.
- Either they tell me outright that they don't or I just stop bothering them.
- I never, ever get an explanation for why.
Anyway, to the present: For the last few months I've been going out with a couple of groups of people (some people are the same in all, some aren't) but with one of these groups I've done more stuff than with the others. Two members of this group are Y and A.
Yesterday I got a phone call from A (who was away for a few weeks) and among other things, he mentioned us going to an island together for a few days on the 22nd, but I had never heard of that. He realised that Y (who was the one organising the trip) probably hadn't told me, and started offering some excuses like "He probably didn't tell you because we're an even number already, and if one more comes he'll have to pay for a whole room" and such.
This has upset me a lot, because I was talking to Y just the previous day and he never mentioned something like that (although about 2 months ago he said that he may organise one such trip in summer). Now my first reaction would have been to call Y and try to make conversation to see if he'd mention it, but he's away for the weekend so I can't reach him until tomorrow.
So what should I say? Just try to make conversation, see if he mentions it? Ask him outright why he didn't ask me to come? Ask him something like "What are you doing near the end of the month"? Try to find a more subtle way to fish out the information? Or should I give him the benefit of doubt and see if he mentions it by himself, either on the phone or in person in Tuesday (when we've planned to meet)? And even if he does mention it, how can I be sure that he did it because he meant to and not because A called him and said something like "I screwed up, I told Zal about the trip"?
I'm even more upset than normal because I've known Y for almost 13 years now and although we never were that close, we've never had trouble with each other either. And on the other hand, he did tell me the other day that we should arrange to meet at either one's house this summer (as we do every year).
If you've read so far, thanks and sorry if it didn't have much of a structure. I just hope it's not the same pattern happening again, I don't know how many times more I can take it... And I still have no idea what's so wrong with me that makes so many people so different to each other act the same way!
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Comments
And please, someone answer my questions above.
Just arrange to meet up with the one you were going to meet up with.
So you think I shouldn't feel left out, although the "leader" had mentioned it to me vaguely a few months ago and A clearly thought I was coming?
BTW, to avoid misunderstandings: I'm not being sarcastic.
lol don't worry mate i didn't take it as sarcasm
i don't think you should feel left out, just not surprised that they took things a step further without you...now if they told you you couldn't come and to fuck off and never talk to them again...then i'd be worried about the validity of the friendships