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1st time!!! (boy problems)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships

Hey <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
My friend recently came to me with a problem,which was embarrassing for the two of them! Her& her boyf decided to do it,but it was his 1st time!He knew what he wiz doing but it took a while for it to go hard!Was this 1st time nerves or what? I didnt know what to say to my friend!What can i say! What do u think will help this sort of problem???
Love GrizzlyB <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You really cannot say! It most probably is but there is nothing to say that he might have a medical condition.

    If you are concious that you are not hard (or arent coming for that matter), the more and more you think about it and focus upon it, the more difficult it becomes to achieve.

    Its all about relaxation, which, of course, can go astray the first time. And the second, third and the one hundered and first for that matter!!!!
    Marvin
    "And then she asked me, 'Do I look alright?' And I say 'Yes, you look wonderful tonight.'"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    marvin u r right, yeah on the first time it may take a while to get hard but the more and more uptight u get about it the worse the problem gets. so tell ur friend the next time they "go 4 it" just to relax and go with the flow!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    In addition, not rushing straight into sex (i.e. foreplay) will certainly help matters. Kissing, cuddling, touching etc. will all excite the lad (and the girl) if done correctly and for long enough. It also leads to better sex.

    *Marvin asks himself why anyone would be silly enough to miss out foreplay!*

    Also, from personal experience, make sure your condoms are close because rooting round in bags etc. will only give time for increased nerves and a subsiding of the erection.

    Ooops! Now you know that happened to me! Neway, it didnt make it any less special cos it came right back!

    Marvin
    "And then she asked me, 'Do I look alright?' And I say 'Yes, you look wonderful tonight.'"
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    when me and my (ex) boyfriend tried to sleep together, we encountered "technical difficulties" too. there was never any problem up until getting the condom out and trying to put it on. so that was an interesting first time experience, kind of ruined the night! and so we tried a few more times after that, but it kept getting worse, probably because of the psychological reasons too, of thinking "oh it happened last time, its going to happen again". so it did.

    eventually we got fed up with it all and him being so upset every time at losing it, so i went on the pill which took a lot of the pressure off him and it didnt happen again. we were both virgins so there wasnt really any risk of STIs, as we were both monogamous too! but yeah condoms are best to be used really, as im sure you all know!!
    Originally posted by Marvin:
    In addition, not rushing straight into sex (i.e. foreplay) will certainly help matters.
    Kissing, cuddling, touching etc. will all excite the lad (and the girl) if done correctly and for long enough. It also leads to better sex.

    *Marvin asks himself why anyone would be silly enough to miss out foreplay!*

    good question!!! even with foreplay though it can happen, or it might hurt loads, to begin with like it did with me.

    so yeah i wouldnt worry too much about your friend's bf's prob grizzly. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

    [This message has been edited by Girl-From-Mars (edited 11-02-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not just nerves and medical problems that cause Mr. Droopy! Just as girls may
    'not feel like it tonight', so can men. Also, things like stress (even subconciously (sp?)) can affect it.

    If you experience technical difficulties, the best thing to do is continue with the foreplay, try to ignore it and hey presto...there he is!
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