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Lack of a sociallife..confused!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, hope everyones cool and chillin. Basically, at this moment iin my life im abit lost and jus needed some advice. My situation is that im at uni..21..m..and things aint too great. Seems ive ended up without any proper friends..and suffering from sort of depression problems. Jus not to sure how to go about changing the situation. Also having poor social skills to an extent..which im very eager to work on..but still..im left alone here at uni..without any support/mentor' and jus cant sort my life out..
Yet i dont think im this social incompetent jus ended up being alone..and its gettin painful..whattodo :eek:
Yet i dont think im this social incompetent jus ended up being alone..and its gettin painful..whattodo :eek:
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think about your interests and join a club / society at your university.
- its the easiest way, believe me to get a good group of friends with similar interests to your own.
also, if you are feeling down a lot of the time it might be worth a trip down to your gp's to try and get some help with that.
and the only way you "learn social skills" is just to take the 'plunge' so to speak... and work it from there... being at uni, there are lots of social opportunities avaliable to you - and its about making the most of them... like joining a club, etc.
All the best!
Jon
It's very easy to get into the pattern of never seeing anyone or never speaking to anyone, and if you don't then you won't make friends. Uni groups are good places to get out and about again, because they have regular social outings (usually involving alcohol, which in moderation is a good way to get rid of shyness), and are filled with your peers who share your interests, rather than people who share your interests.
In response to the social life thing, i always used to have a bad one. Wont blab on, but it wasnt really till last summer i had a group of mates i could hang with (by then i was 18!) I think a club is an awesome idea, coz u'll meet people with similar interests, it's worked for me and i've made mates from all different years. Apart from that i suggest just trying to go out with people you live with or on your course, if you overhear of a night out being planned by someone just ask if you can go along. I never did that coz i thought it was cheeky, but most of the time people just assume if you havent asked your not interested. I know it's hard, especially with depression and sometimes you feel like you're just 'tagging along' but the more you do it the easier it gets.
joining a club or society is a good idea, make the effort to organise nights out with people(s) and try and get to know them better, or arrange to study in uni with people off your course (sad i know!! :rolleyes: ), it'll help you all pass the course and you always end up chatting about anything and everything just to keep your mind off studying! thats how i made all my friends! it is a good idea to find a house with like-minded people, you often end up being best mates with housemates and get introduced to their mates etc. just remember to keep a smile on your face and people will love ya!
You could join a club or even start your own club .. which is also a good way to force yourself to meet people .. I started a sort of website social club about 18 months ago and now has almost 2,300 people on the mailing ... now I just send out an email and say who wants to go for a picnic, for dinner, or skating, etc and quite often we get a good group together - we got about 45 people on Saturday for a Picnic - but it rained and rained so we all went to a pub and ate our picnic inside and ordered beers!!