If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Abortion Advice
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I've only ever made a few posts on here but i suppose i'd like other peoples opinions or who can relate this to a similar situation.
Basically i'm 17 and in a relationship - have a great bf,
and accidentally fell pregnant 2-3 months ago, came as a big shock and alot of upset for everyone.
Well i decided i couldnt go through with an abortion and to continute with the pregnancy with my families & bf support, (Even though he found it harder than me i think to accept and had opted for me to have an abortion but said he'd stick by me)
Well now, i'm 11 weeks gone and had a lot of ups and down with my bf,
and it ended in tears and with him leaving me and having nothing to do with the baby if i dont have the abortion because he says he cant cope.
- So going to be a teenage single mum, no boyfriend/dad, no real job experience or futher education so more than likely will end up on a council estate and benefits and will have that standard of living for most of my life - the worst situation for me
I couldnt bare to lose my bf so i've got back with him on the pretense i have booked an abortion for next week, but i havent been able to even face work since ive decided to do it, i already feel depressed and constantly crying. Everyone is telling me its the best thing but sometimes its got me feeling so low, almost to the point of feeling suicidal - which isnt me. :crying:
i know deep down i already love this baby but i suppose its not feesable or in my best interest to keep it.
has anyone been in a similar situation? and if so did they feel better after its over and done? or will i feel worse than i do now? eek.
Its the hardest decision ive ever had to make, im so scared im going to regret it and yes you do get councelling as part of the abortion but i find it hard to open up to any1, let alone a stranger.
sorry its so long, i hope ive posted this in the right forum? i wasnt sure whether it belonged in relationships or health. :nervous:
thanx for any replies.x
I've only ever made a few posts on here but i suppose i'd like other peoples opinions or who can relate this to a similar situation.
Basically i'm 17 and in a relationship - have a great bf,
and accidentally fell pregnant 2-3 months ago, came as a big shock and alot of upset for everyone.
Well i decided i couldnt go through with an abortion and to continute with the pregnancy with my families & bf support, (Even though he found it harder than me i think to accept and had opted for me to have an abortion but said he'd stick by me)
Well now, i'm 11 weeks gone and had a lot of ups and down with my bf,
and it ended in tears and with him leaving me and having nothing to do with the baby if i dont have the abortion because he says he cant cope.
- So going to be a teenage single mum, no boyfriend/dad, no real job experience or futher education so more than likely will end up on a council estate and benefits and will have that standard of living for most of my life - the worst situation for me
I couldnt bare to lose my bf so i've got back with him on the pretense i have booked an abortion for next week, but i havent been able to even face work since ive decided to do it, i already feel depressed and constantly crying. Everyone is telling me its the best thing but sometimes its got me feeling so low, almost to the point of feeling suicidal - which isnt me. :crying:
i know deep down i already love this baby but i suppose its not feesable or in my best interest to keep it.
has anyone been in a similar situation? and if so did they feel better after its over and done? or will i feel worse than i do now? eek.
Its the hardest decision ive ever had to make, im so scared im going to regret it and yes you do get councelling as part of the abortion but i find it hard to open up to any1, let alone a stranger.
sorry its so long, i hope ive posted this in the right forum? i wasnt sure whether it belonged in relationships or health. :nervous:
thanx for any replies.x
0
Comments
the fact you have lied to your bf makes me think that an abortion isn't what you want.think long and hard - you have to do what is right for you at the end of the day, only have an abortion if its what you really really want.
Sorry that I can't be of much help. Hope it all turns out for you. x
He is being so selfish towards you and your feelings.
You must do what is best for YOU, no-one else matters. Get away from your boyfriend and all the other pressures in your life and think it through.. And make the decision that YOU want.
An abortion should never be taken lightly and as GWST says - you will regret it for the rest of your life whether you make the right decision or not.. but at least you will know you did it for you and no-one else...
Take Care,
Paul
p.s. suicide is never the answer, in any situation.. Please think of how much hurt and pain your friends and family will go through.
I work in an abortion clinic, and the women who are most likely to be emotionally affected by the abortion afterwards are the ones who felt pressured into it. The women who get on with their lives manage to do so because they were 110% sure that it was what they wanted.
If you do have the abortion, there's nothing to say that your boyfriend will stay. So as hard as it is, you have to put him and his feelings to one side, and put the person who is most important in this matter first. You.
Why? Because other people said so? Screw the other people - only you know what's best for you.
Keep talking hon, you'll get a lot of support here xx
Dont do anything rash yet, think long and hard about what you want to do and once you have decided then do not let anyone pressure you into doing something you dont want to.
Although I have not been in your situation - I really feel for you and the decision you have to make.
The thing that smacks me in the face is, if you have an abortion, how long after the event do you think you will be able to carry on and stay with your boyfriend. Surely the trust and respect you have for him must be gone, if he decided to split with you if you decided to keep the baby, what would happen in the future if something happened he did not agree with? Say for instance, you got ill, would he leave you then because it didn't suit him. Sorry to sound harsh, but he sounds like a prick. I know it's hard for him, but it has shown his true colours. A loving boyfriend should support his girlfriend whatever. Ditch him and keep the baby. The baby will love you unconditionally.
I think you should keep your baby and dump your boyfriend.
:yes: :yes: :yes:
Don't assume she wasn't using contraception. Even if someone is using contraception, it's not 100% effective, and people will have unplanned pregnancies despite being on the pill/using condoms etc.
Theres never such a thing as over precurtion when it comes to contraception. I use condoms AND take the pill.
I took issue with the fact that you implied that by someone using contraception it will "never happen again" and you assumed that Auriolé had not used contraception at all, when she hadn't even mentioned it.
how about being sterilised and still falling pregnant.....it happens, like it did to a friend of mine.
and yes, I agree with Rainbow......dump him :yes:
No i merely meant in future she should be more carefull with her contraception, eg ensuring the condoms don't break or using extra precautions when missing a pill etc. I guess i didn't make it that clear though. My bad.
Did she sue??
if the thought of having an abortion is making you suicidal then is it really what you want? i know you dont want to lose your boyfriend, but if he really loved you he'd let you make your own choice.
please dont abort this baby just because hes given you an ultimatum
Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he'd be the kind of person to stick around long term anyway. If it's not this issue it sounds like he'd leave anyway for some other reason.
And it does sound like you're the kinda person that would really regret having an abortion forever after .. some girl that have abortions try to get pregnant ASAP almost as a way to replace the baby their aborted.
If you're the kind of person that always puts others first then it sounds like you'd be the kind that would regret an abortion a lot
I agree with what others have said and not let your boyfriend push you around
Auriolé - have you really, properly talked to your bf about this? I mean, really explained your feelings and how hard you are finding this decision? It is a hard time for him, too and maybe being really open with each other will help both of you sort your heads out a bit. You need to know exactly how each other feels before making your decision. And yes, it might well be that you end up breaking up - but if there's any chance you can stick by each other and be happy about the decision you make it will be better for everyone involved in the long term - especially the baby if you decide to keep it.
I hope you manage to do the thing that is best for you. As others have said, remember that ultimately, this is YOUR baby and your decision.
Take care x
If all three happen you really do have bad luck!