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making the first move
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
okay..it's not like I have any major problems pulling (just mean kissing by that) and stuff. well yeah i kinda do, it just doesn't happen that often (5 times in the last year) and generally at gigs and stuff. usually, then its easy to start conversation cos you can just talk about the band and stuff.
but what am i supposed to say when i'm just out in a bar or something? and i just see a girl i like and i want to approach her. it's always like i should have a reason or something but i can never think what to say. i think having some good ways to just start conversation would really help. cos generally after that it's not too hard...really...
but what am i supposed to say when i'm just out in a bar or something? and i just see a girl i like and i want to approach her. it's always like i should have a reason or something but i can never think what to say. i think having some good ways to just start conversation would really help. cos generally after that it's not too hard...really...
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Comments
Grace x
k doesn't sound too hard. how are you meant to be sure that a gir is interested? if she holds eye contact..?
just walk over and say, hi! you're really beutifull, my name's <whatever your name is> then offer your hand, if she just ignores you or says something nasty then just walk away saying loudly to your mates 'yeah youre right she is a dog' but if she shakes it and giggles a little then ask if you can sit down and start asking her a bit about herself, keep smiling as well.
now about the smile. make it a geniune one. not like youre some psycho or anything. a natural smile.
but depending on how good or attractive you are. if youo get turneed down, dont get bogged down if you dont reap any fruit from the girl. its part of the game. nothing is perfect. and the more you realise that you wont always get the girl. the better youll cope when the outcome aint any good.
god you made me laugh, how is buying someone a drink offering to be their slave?
i think that lying about your job is also a bad idea, so say you really hit it of and 2 months down the line you have to say guess what i've lied to you for 2 months.
oh and pretending to be a bank robber probably wont get you far with most people
I think I'd go with the above!
each to their own though!
And then what? She'll say "2 days a year in a bank, what ya mean? What else do you do?" Then you end up talking shit to her. I don't think anyone would be stupid enough to believe anyone works 2 days a year in a bank. It doesn't matter where you work, it's how you say it. Saying "oh I work in a factory" like you've just been kicked in the nuts and slapped in the face ain't gonna sound best pleasing. Say it with a little enthusiasm and kinda laugh about it as if your taking the piss outta your self.
Malt
what do you guys think about girls approaching you? is it tacky and if not how would you like it done?
honestly, i really love women who have the balls to approach men, especially me. although it sorta give the guy the upperhand, i try to make the girl as comfortable as possible. she deserves it.
its never easy trying to approach a stranger because theres always a chance of getting turned down. (especially with guys because girls can easily say no to a guy like it was a free give away at tesco).
for girls who wants to approach a guy, perhaps its better to make them come to you. make eye contact with the guy. smile and if he smiles back then hes responding. when he looks at you make a gesture to make him come to your table. use your finger cos its more sensual. now if youre in a group of friends, stand up and go to the bar or a place where you are alone. girls, it is quite nerve racking for guys to approach a group of girls and vice versa i would believe. (were only one man). plus if youre on your own then youll have his full attention (not split up among youre friends, whom, realise it or not, you are in competition with) (women hate other women). so make him come to you. you get what you want and still have the upper hand. and if youre at bar, theres more chance of him buying you a drink. then if you dont fancy him just leave and go back to the protection of youre friends.
Speak for yourself sunshine
I love it when girls approach 'cos I'm so lazy.
Seriously though, girls have much less to lose in approaching. It's highly unlikely that a guy is going to send them packing, whereas girls can be quite cruel if you don't approach them properly.
If a girl approaches me then I immediately have respect for her. I'm definitely going to take some time to find out what she is like even if she isn't my 'type' physically or whatever because she has the confidence I'm looking for. I personally only find it tacky if they come straight up to you and start grinding on your crotch or something without saying a word. However, for a lot of guys on a Saturday night it probably depends on how drunk they are and what they are looking for that night. As for something to say, go with something funny and a bit ballsy, although be careful if he looks like a shy guy as you could scare him off...in which case you better act like his mum and only ask him questions about the weather. Poor lad :thumb:
when he comes to you say "Hi. whats youre name?" Then you can check what kind of a person he is by not saying your name until he asks for it. if he doesnt asks for you name, then most probably he aint thinking about who you are and probably more of what you are to him. ask him what he does and build on from that.
I would be really pleased if a girl made the first move on me.
In fact it sort of happened the other night, when I was out with my housemates were picking up a takeaway before staggering back home. I was standing outside waiting for them eating my pizza and then this girl looks at me and walks in with her friends saying loudly "That guy's pizza looks really nice." and she says it a few times so then I just go "Well, you can have a piece if you want it?" So she comes out has a piece of pizza with me and we get chatting, it was all going really well until my housemate came out and dragged me away as his girlfriend had gone off ahead of us and he wanted to catch her up. Got her name though, not her number unfortunately.
I was so chuffed, still am, it's nice because it's so rare for it to happen to a guy and it really makes you feel good and attractive. I doubt there's many guys who would not pleased - even if they don't fancy you it's really flattering. Plus most guys just cannot read the signals women send out - myself being one of the worst for this!