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A troubled friendship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, let me post a little background. I am 21 and just moved to this new place last year. I go to college and have never had a girlfriend. So as you can imagine, my self-esteem can be a little low at times
Now to the problem. There was a girl that I like, we used to talk hours a day and she would occationally flirt with me. I would think about her often and felt like this is the one girl in my life that I could be with, and she at times would tell me I am the one guy she can trust in her life. She would often invite me to nearly every event that comes across, and I really enjoyed her company.
So against all other's advice, I decided to make the move and tell her that I really like her. I was flat out rejected and told that she wanted me to be "just a friend". I fell into the dreaded "friend" zone because I simply was too nice and payed too much attention to this girl.
Two months pass, I still like the girl and respect her wishes to be single. Yet I feel a little upset because she believes the crush I've had has put a huge dent in our friendship. So now I feel as if I am on the verge of not only loosing a girl that I really like...but a friend as well.
So now she's been going to parties, movies, and even to the beach with other friends without inviting me. I felt kinda betrayed and upset...we came from "best friends" to just distant friends in a matter a couple months
It's hard because I don't have a lot of friends out here, and since it's summer...there's not much opportunity to go out and meet new people while I am out of school. At the moment I really don't know how to repair our friendship...or if it's worth repairing at all. I want to move on with my life, yet I don't want to loose someone that I really care for.
She often tells me she misses the old days of our friendship when we would talk for hours a day, yet that leaves me totally clueless at how to get back to those old days if she constantly distances herself? Sometimes I try calling her and e-mailing her to catch up on events or to be friendly...yet she barely answers her phone anymore, and never replies to any of my e-mails. So I am totally clueless at this point.
What do you all recommend I should do? The more I think about this, the more I get upset at how it seems like I am loosing my best friend. I sometimes feel that I should stop caring and move on with my life...yet at other times it seems totally wrong to back out of a friendship.
Now to the problem. There was a girl that I like, we used to talk hours a day and she would occationally flirt with me. I would think about her often and felt like this is the one girl in my life that I could be with, and she at times would tell me I am the one guy she can trust in her life. She would often invite me to nearly every event that comes across, and I really enjoyed her company.
So against all other's advice, I decided to make the move and tell her that I really like her. I was flat out rejected and told that she wanted me to be "just a friend". I fell into the dreaded "friend" zone because I simply was too nice and payed too much attention to this girl.
Two months pass, I still like the girl and respect her wishes to be single. Yet I feel a little upset because she believes the crush I've had has put a huge dent in our friendship. So now I feel as if I am on the verge of not only loosing a girl that I really like...but a friend as well.
So now she's been going to parties, movies, and even to the beach with other friends without inviting me. I felt kinda betrayed and upset...we came from "best friends" to just distant friends in a matter a couple months
It's hard because I don't have a lot of friends out here, and since it's summer...there's not much opportunity to go out and meet new people while I am out of school. At the moment I really don't know how to repair our friendship...or if it's worth repairing at all. I want to move on with my life, yet I don't want to loose someone that I really care for.
She often tells me she misses the old days of our friendship when we would talk for hours a day, yet that leaves me totally clueless at how to get back to those old days if she constantly distances herself? Sometimes I try calling her and e-mailing her to catch up on events or to be friendly...yet she barely answers her phone anymore, and never replies to any of my e-mails. So I am totally clueless at this point.
What do you all recommend I should do? The more I think about this, the more I get upset at how it seems like I am loosing my best friend. I sometimes feel that I should stop caring and move on with my life...yet at other times it seems totally wrong to back out of a friendship.
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Comments
it may also help if you lie and say you are over her, its likely she feels a bit uncomfortable with the situation.
try to accept that she isn't interested and move one. if she isnt interested now then its unlikely she is your "one" , which means the real one is still out there - something for you to look forward to!