She found out

Former Member · May 2002

Hmm probably totally wrong topic, should be in sex i guess, but it didnt quite fit in there. Anyways here it goes.

I phoned up my kinda ex g/f (shes a bit werid, keeps dumping me but still wants me etc) and her mum answered, asked who it was, then said she had a bone to pick with me. She then went on about how she could go to the police cos she found out i slept with her daughter who is a few months underage.

She then went on about abortion and went into great detail about how they do it and how she cant believe id do such a thing and how she'd lost all respect for me etc etc. This has really upset me. Many girls lose their virginity before 16, its not like when shes 16 its perfectly acceptable to have sex anyways.

My ex said she was ready, she told me she wanted to do it, i didnt pressure her and we used protection and i tried to be as gentle with her as i could. I even posted in here asking if it was the right thing to do, and many of you agreeded saying i showed a lot of maturity.

I know her mum cant do much, police wont do anything cos her daughter has no need or reason to complain, she wanted to do it and shes glad she has done.

Its just upset me a bit the way her mum had a go at me, guess she has a right to maybe, but i really duno what to do or think.

Making me feel so shit right now.

Former Member · May 2002

Well, if she agreed and you didn't force her...
Maybe her mum is just blaming you because she doesn't want to think her precious daughter would do anything like that. She'd probably behave the same way even if she were over 16.

Former Member · May 2002

Surely you can see her mum's pov too?

Former Member · May 2002

I get on with my girlfreinds mum but i don't think she would be too impressed if she found out something like that.

Former Member · May 2002

My mum was the same. I had sex before i was 16 (by about 4 days lol) and she totally freaked, saying she would prosecute the guy. Since then my relationship with my mum has been awful (nearly a year now). I have a brother and a sister - both younger. I'm the oldest but that doesn't change anything. it's just a shock to your rents system when the see their kids actually growing up. Her mum was a bit our of order to lecture you on it if your ex agreed. But hey look on the bright side. At least she didn't get the police involved, that would have been silly. Also don't blame your ex for what her mum said to you. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

I guess you have to consider that her mum is bound to be protective of her daughter and is worried about her getting pregnant and stuff hence the detailed discussion on abortion.
You should probably explain to her how much you care about her daughter.

Former Member · May 2002

Holy shit....a mother whos a bit miffed that some bloke is nobbing her 15 year old daughter....What an amazing surprise.

Mums are mums, they care for their children. You couldnt possibly have expected anything else.

Former Member · May 2002

Im with those who can see the Mums POV Im afraid- it is her daughter. No matter whether she agreed and was ready etc etc All her Mums going too see is her precious daughter straying

Former Member · May 2002

I can see her point of view, but everyone has to do it at one time or another. And would she rather her daughter did it while she was blind drunk with some random bloke, or someone shes wanted to lose it to for a long time, as itd make it special for her?

I dont see why i should be burned at the stake for it, im not the first bloke to do it, and im certainly not the last. Hell theirs girls at 12 having babies by inconciderate blokes, but i treated her the best i could, didnt force her, she decided by her own free will.

Sure her mums gona be upset by it, but no need to grill me over it, i aint an idiot and dont just shag anything and then move onto the next girl, i made it special for her, made sure we used protection and most of all, that she was 100% comfortable with it, she could have stopped at any time.

Maybe i should just give up, let rude boys shag girls and get away with nothing being said to them.

I just dont think i deserve this grilling, it takes two people to have sex, and im not the kind to rush into things. At the end of the day its as much her wanting it as me.

Besides what i really dont get is when her older sister (my age, so 17) moved out to wales to live with a bloke she barely knew about 2 years ago, her mum didnt have a go at her or him or anything. So i just dont see why i deserve all this grilling.

Former Member · May 2002

I can see what you're saying and its a good point, Im sure given the choice between you and some "rude-boy" she would be happier it was you as you obviously care about her daughter. But at the end of the day, she'd have grilled whoever it was but hopefully it wont be a long-standing grudge she holds.
Any chance of her coming round? What did your ex-girlfriend say about it??

Edited to add ex- to girlfriend. Slight difference between the two <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

[ 23-05-2002: Message edited by: Narcotic ]

Former Member · May 2002

Nobody is saying you shouldnt have done it, merely that you need to realise that her mum is going to be pissed off...She would be pissed off no matter who slept with her daughter.

Thats what mums do.

Former Member · May 2002

I have to say my mum would be the same and I'm 17 + a half.

Try and see it from her POV she loves her daughter and to see her go through what she has and to think that her underage daughter has been having sex, I think she has a right to be angry.

Former Member · May 2002

what pisses me off is that, even if the girl concents, a guy can still get charged for having sex with an underage girl, even if the girl doesnt want prosecution yet if older women eg, Amy Ghering do anything to a younger lad, they're never held responsable!

Former Member · May 2002

Duh newsflash this is why you always ask for ID and double check the pic and age before going in. I hope you have learned your lesson.

Former Member · May 2002

Originally posted by darthbudd:
you always ask for ID and double check the pic

LMFAO at the very thought <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> what a fool you are.

Former Member · May 2002

Originally posted by darthbudd:
Duh newsflash this is why you always ask for ID and double check the pic and age before going in. I hope you have learned your lesson.

what do think this girl was? some kinda club? 'show ID to enter me here' sign hanging over her crotch? <IMG SRC="redface.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> twat <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

Originally posted by darthbudd:
Duh newsflash this is why you always ask for ID and double check the pic and age before going in. I hope you have learned your lesson.

Did you read any posts? <IMG SRC="mad.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Check my list of things to do:

Empty house - check
Condoms - check
Candles - check
Background plinky plonky music - check
Romantic meal for two - check

So I'll just need some ID to prove that you are in fact my girlfriend and you can sign here, here and here for when your mother finds out... A photo supposedly for similar purposes <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">.

Yes that is me and I agree to this. Drop em and spread em <IMG SRC="mad.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

And we're ready to "go in" as you so delicately put it <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

*went of an a tangent a bit* *congrats to anyone who followed that bit of "humour"*
*must try harder*

I was going to add some actual recent personal experience with such mothers fidning out their daughters antics. In fact the sotry is very similar except that I'm 10 months younger than my girlfriend. I think my parents know cos they make little comments but we haven't spoken about it directly. To think at our first time I'd had my 15th a month before - and she was a month short of her 16th!

Former Member · May 2002

i think you should talk to her mum about how you love her daughter and how it was a mutual decision that you both thought about, and that the time was right, and that neither of you regret it.

Former Member · May 2002

My mum had no choice but to realise i had been having sex with my b/f of six months when i was 15 coz i fell pregnant. She was pretty disappointed and huge arguements broke out with my mum and dad coz it was my mum who said i could stay over night with him and he could stay at ours. My dad on the other hand wanted to break my ex's legs! Even now my dad gets funny with me if i have a man round and its 4 years later.
All parents react differently maybe her mums concern is to do with all the young pregnancies in the country.

Former Member · May 2002

Don't trust any parents! They say they are fine with things like that, but when it comes to them actually letting the person do things is a completely different story! <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

Aww! <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

Aww what? <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

He got shouted at! <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

wise old leese says

*if you cant do the time, dont do the crime*
<IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

*agrees with leese* <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member · May 2002

Like everybody else has said she is acting the way any mother would. you could try talking to her and then seeing if that helps. It really isn't a one sided thign... maybe her mother just can't see that. just try talking to her <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> Good luck

She found out

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