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Bored with current girlfriend and tempted by someone elses!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Crikey, it has been a good few years since I've felt the need to air my problems on a forum, but right now I find myself in the biggest predicament I've ever been in with regards to relationships. Any advice is welcome.
I've been with my girlfriend for eight months now, I faught to get her in the first place and things have been great ever since. Recently, I've begun to realise that while we do work well together and do have a lot of fun, it isn't going to be forever. We just don't seem to click quite enough for that. This was all very well until last Thursday.
After quite a few drinks (celebrating dissertation hand-in day at uni), I headed on to my usual Thursday night haunt around the middle of the evening. Completely unexpectedly, I got chatting to a friend of my ex whom I used to know a few years ago (late 2001 to late 2002). We caught up on old times etc then things started to get a bit flirty and a bit touchy feely. When time was called, she dragged me outside and we had rather a passionate kiss before the 'but you've got a girlfriend' and 'but you've got a boyfriend' realisations kicked in.
So the situation I find myself in now is that I really cannot stop thinking about the girl I pulled on Thursday. She's not just some random girl I pulled in the pub, I did know her previously and have chatted to her a few times in recent months. I've spoken to her briefly since and she denied it was simply the alcohol talking, although we're both seeing people so have agree 'friends' for the time being. We shall be meeting up after easter.
Now, I'm really just not sure what action to take. I really do want this girl, as I've always felt something for her, even when I was going out with her friend. However, I also don't want to hurt my girlfriend. She can tell something's up though, and I very much feel that the best thing to do would be to end things. Not solely because I want someone else, but simply the fact that I want to try something with someone else suggests there's a problem with the relationship anyway.
So the plan for the time being is to tell my girlfriend that I don't feel the same anymore and suggest that maybe we bring things to an end. I know it'll upset her, but there isn't going to be any way around that. With regards to the new girl, I really do want to be with her but I appreciate that she may not feel quite so strongly. She says she has feelings for me, but she also has a boyfriend and I'm not sure where I will fit in the scheme of things. I think I'm going to have to sit it out for a couple of weeks until I'm back up North and can see her again by herself, then hopefully we can have a bit of a chat about all this. I don't want to assume something will happen, even though I'd love it to, but I feel I should wait until we can talk about it face to face before I start coming on to her as such. I also don't want to be starting out with another girl when still with my current girlfriend.
Does that make sense? Sorry if it's a bit long and thank you for reading to anyone who takes the time, any input is appreciated. Am I thinking along the right lines here?
I've been with my girlfriend for eight months now, I faught to get her in the first place and things have been great ever since. Recently, I've begun to realise that while we do work well together and do have a lot of fun, it isn't going to be forever. We just don't seem to click quite enough for that. This was all very well until last Thursday.
After quite a few drinks (celebrating dissertation hand-in day at uni), I headed on to my usual Thursday night haunt around the middle of the evening. Completely unexpectedly, I got chatting to a friend of my ex whom I used to know a few years ago (late 2001 to late 2002). We caught up on old times etc then things started to get a bit flirty and a bit touchy feely. When time was called, she dragged me outside and we had rather a passionate kiss before the 'but you've got a girlfriend' and 'but you've got a boyfriend' realisations kicked in.
So the situation I find myself in now is that I really cannot stop thinking about the girl I pulled on Thursday. She's not just some random girl I pulled in the pub, I did know her previously and have chatted to her a few times in recent months. I've spoken to her briefly since and she denied it was simply the alcohol talking, although we're both seeing people so have agree 'friends' for the time being. We shall be meeting up after easter.
Now, I'm really just not sure what action to take. I really do want this girl, as I've always felt something for her, even when I was going out with her friend. However, I also don't want to hurt my girlfriend. She can tell something's up though, and I very much feel that the best thing to do would be to end things. Not solely because I want someone else, but simply the fact that I want to try something with someone else suggests there's a problem with the relationship anyway.
So the plan for the time being is to tell my girlfriend that I don't feel the same anymore and suggest that maybe we bring things to an end. I know it'll upset her, but there isn't going to be any way around that. With regards to the new girl, I really do want to be with her but I appreciate that she may not feel quite so strongly. She says she has feelings for me, but she also has a boyfriend and I'm not sure where I will fit in the scheme of things. I think I'm going to have to sit it out for a couple of weeks until I'm back up North and can see her again by herself, then hopefully we can have a bit of a chat about all this. I don't want to assume something will happen, even though I'd love it to, but I feel I should wait until we can talk about it face to face before I start coming on to her as such. I also don't want to be starting out with another girl when still with my current girlfriend.
Does that make sense? Sorry if it's a bit long and thank you for reading to anyone who takes the time, any input is appreciated. Am I thinking along the right lines here?
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Comments
It is going to cause her heartache, but she needs to know where she stands and it's wouldn't be fair to pretend to her that everything is ok.
If you want this girl tell you girlfriend and then tell her
Sounds like you really need to take a step back and sort things out.
G.
Just having a bad moment!!!!!
agreed with all the break it off and start a new. It's not fair to hold on until your sure that someones set up for you when yuo do eventually break it off. Atleast if you break it off now, the heartache has time to settle and you'll be able to think properly.
Malt xxx
hope it alll works out for you
The problem with this is it's not a clean break - they'll still think you're going to get back together. It's one of the usual ways for people to get strung along..
I think this is the route I'm going to go down. I feel I should be honest and that's probably what I'd always advise others to be, but in this situation I just think it would cause more heartache than neccesary.
Thanks for all the advice guys, it really is much appreciated.
I really never knew I could be such a bastard, why can't things be simple!
You're from Huddersfield! Is this girl anyone I know? Did she go to Greenhead?