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need help with herpes

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly two years.
She's on the pill and we don't use condoms.
Neither of us had any problems STD/STIs before.
On thursday it was her birthday and i was giving her a "birthday treat"....
Basically going down on her and fingering her. Also messing about with champagne which she got on her crotch area (which made it sting cos she shaved her pubes earlier that day and had a bit of a shaving rash). We had vaginal sex later on in the day as well
She was a little sore the next day (friday). We had vaginal sex friday night as well, she said it was slightly uncomfortable to start with, but once we got going she was enjoying it. The soreness got worse on saturday, but since we planned going out to celebrate her birthday we went out anyway and she got quite drunk. On sunday she got a temperature and was feeling sick (so i thought it was just a hangover) but by sunday night she developed and awful rash down there and was in pain. I thought it was just champagne on the shaving rash that caused it. She insisted on going to doctors, and since it was sunday night i had to take her to A&E. They didn't help much, took blood pressure/pulse/temperature. Took a urine test, which tested negative for pregnancy. She said it really hurts to pee and the nurse said it looks like herpes, go visit GUM clinic. She couldn't sleep last night, was crying in agony. Tried taking a salty lukewarm bath as recommended, but that made it worse.
She's been taking paracetamol and ibuprofen all day today, can't walk or pee without severe pain. She's all swollen and sore and got blisters and ulcers down there.
I took a day off today and took her to GUM clinic (had to use wheelchair cos she can't walk). The doctor said it looks like herpes, gave her cream and tablets and said to carry on with painkillers. We came back home, she's been taking the anti-virus tablets, putting the cream on, taking more painkillers.
She can't sleep, can't lie down, can't pee, feeling sick. Getting really stressed and exhausted through pain, screaming and crying as the painkillers don't seem to be taking any effect (and she already exceeded the daily maximum). She can't find a position where she's comfortable at to relax and go to sleep.
I've been reading about herpes and it said anyone can have it without knowing it and the virus can outbreak for a variety of reasons (run down/stress/friction from sex or tight clothes/lowered immune system (we were out for a meal on thursday and out on saturday and it was cold both nights and now she's got swollen glans and temperature as well....so everything put together gave her this)
i know it's supposed to be painful, but anyone who's had it, can you please share your experiences. Because it seems to be worse than what it's supposed to be from reading leaflets from GUM clinic and researching on the internet.
She's literally sweating, screaming, crying sobbing, gritting her teeth in severe pain and nothing is helping.
I'm sorry that i've gone on for so long (thought might as well tell everything), but any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you. :banghead:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Health or Sex. You decide.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never knew herpes gives you ulcers.

    And I thought it was caught off somebody.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MoonRat wrote:
    I never knew herpes gives you ulcers.

    And I thought it was caught off somebody.
    Cold sores innit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya
    Poor you - and your girlfriend - it sounds like you have had a horrible couple of days. I think you've done all the right things by getting advice quickly and reading all the literature you are given. However, it sounds like you've still got lots of unanswered questions that have probably cropped up after seeing the specialist. I'd make another appointment and this time write down all the questions you need answering. Why is your girlfriend in so much pain, is this normal, how long will it last, how could she have been infected etc etc.
    Although some user here may be able to give you some personal experiences, it's only really a speciailist who can give you peace of mind.

    You could also call one of the following helplines for instant advice:

    Brook Advisory Centres
    Advice, counselling and medical help around contraception, pregnancy, abortion and sexual health.
    Telephone: 0800 0185023
    www.brook.org.uk

    Family Planning Association
    Information service on family planning and all aspects of sexual health.
    Helpline: 0845 3101334
    www.fpa.org.uk

    And read up more here:

    Our herpes factsheet

    International Herpes Alliance

    Hope she's feeling better soon :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you get cold sores on your mouth. Have you gone down on her while you had a coldsore?
    I have heard that the first attack of herpes is the worst, but any further attacks arent usually as bad. Usually the first outbreak appears 2- 10 days after infection
    http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdherp.htm
    I would get to the doctors yourself too, as you are more than likely to have caught it too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Taken another day off work, we've been to GUM clinic again today cos she's in agonising pain.
    They've looked at her again, doubled her medication and prescribed stronger painkillers and sleeping tablets (cos she can't sleep because of the pain).
    They said she should get better within 48 hours, if not, contact them again and they'll put her up in the ward.
    We both had coldsores (herpes type I) in the past, but i haven't gone down on her while having a cold sore. We both have another appointment on the 23rd so we can have a full series of tests carried out on both of us. Until then probably hold off the sex for a while, as even when she gets better in 5-10 days time her pill might have been affected, by the medication and throwing up. And we don't know who's the initial carrier, so until we get tested we can't be sure. But there's such a variety of things that could have caused it. The doctor said that with her being run down and stressed at work, simple thing like that could have set it off, and with all the other things described above put together it kicked off.
    Doctor said the first is the worst. Might never come back again, but even if it does, it'll be nowhere near as bad as this. Also that some people are immune to it and even though they're exposed to it, they might contract the virus but there won't be an outbreak.
    Oh well. we'll wait and see.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Herpes isn't always Type 1 for coldsores and type 2 for the blisters down there, sometimes it can swap between the two so type 2 can cause coldsores and type 1 can cause problems down there. Even if the virus isn't active, i'm sure it can be passed on, although more likely ofc when it is active.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the first attack is much much worse than any others she may have. i think the only thing she can do is take the painkillers and rest. maybe it would be more comfortable if she lay in bed with no underwear or pj bottoms on so nothing is rubbing or touching the affected area.im sure the first attack lasts for about a week an a half but the pain should calm down.hope she is ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya, that sounds exactly like my best friend went through a couple of weeks ago, she had all those symptoms after sex, and ended up in hospital not being able to eat sleep or walk for 10 days, they said it was Herpes, so although i'm not a doctor, but does sound very similar, then only thing she could do was keep taking the pills they gave her and stayed in hospital and rested until she was well enough, so the best thing she can do if it is herpes is rest loads and loads drink plenty of water and let the area get lots of air, hope shes ok as its a horrible thing to go through, i didn't realise how bad something like that can effect some people until i saw the state my friend was in :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    . We both have another appointment on the 23rd so we can have a full series of tests carried out on both of us. Until then probably hold off the sex for a while.

    Probably hold off the sex?
    :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Insanity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry that i've gone on for so long (thought might as well tell everything), but any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you. :banghead:
    one thing: i dnt care how long ppl go out, u shud ALWAYS use condoms. :yes: i work in brook advisory (clinic) and i have access to some put-u-off-ur-dinner-for-a-week pictures of ppl with STis. :yuck: u can never really knw somebody as u dnt knw what they do behind ur back. if ur girl has it and u say u were clean then she has been sleeping around obovisly so then u have it too. :rolleyes: get urself checked if u havent already. and next time USE CONDOMS.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    While I always always always encourage condoms to be used, certain STIs can still be transmitted via skin to skin contact, regardless of condom use.

    Just a question cherridrop, when I was doing work experience in hospitals, I wasn't allowed to shadow intimate examinations because of my age at the time (16), is it just pictures you have access to or are you allowed to sit in on consultations etc, just interested.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote:
    While I always always always encourage condoms to be used, certain STIs can still be transmitted via skin to skin contact, regardless of condom use.

    Just a question cherridrop, when I was doing work experience in hospitals, I wasn't allowed to shadow intimate examinations because of my age at the time (16), is it just pictures you have access to or are you allowed to sit in on consultations etc, just interested.
    i was allowed to help the nurses and i was showed the pictures.
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