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strait boyfriend...is he gay???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
right my bf comes on here so hell prob end up reading this but dont go mad 4 me posting this jamie!!

a while back me n my bf were talking about our fanticies and he mentioned THREESOMES OMG i hate that term. personally i really dont like the thought of them at all. and i was kinda shocked cos i thought he wanted 2 have sex with another woman. but then he swore he didnt and he would wanna do it with a man.

but he is really protective of me and cant stand knowing i have slept with 2 other people, so i was really puzzled and kinda scared!

ok this may sound even more wierd 2 jamie if he reads this but......when i first got with jamie it was behind his cousins back cos kris (his cousin) was really into me and thought we were going put, cos i met up with him off the net only once!!

anyway i had heard these roumers that jamie and kris were gay together they are really close....well were!

now jami dont know this buti did kinda have my suspicions, not that they were gay but that they had EXPERIMENTED. and when jamie brought up the threesomes thing it has kina go me thinking. but if i mention this 2 jamie he wont talk hell just say "im not gay" but all this has got me thinking and as i said on another post he sometimes asks me if i think a bloke is goodlooking and if i say no hell say "i do"

oh i dunno wot to do!

jo-lozzie

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, first things first <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Your B/F sometimes asks you your opinions of how some other lads look, I wouldn't say this can be defined as homosexual behaviour, I mean I do it myself and my girl mates often say 'doesn't she look gorgeous', I'd say this is down to acknowledging a perticular persons attractiveness...

    If your BF has ever had, or rumoured to have samesex experiences in his youth then this also doesn't attribute to him being gay, this just attributes to him experimenting and trying to find out his sex type. If he says he loves you then do you really have anything to fear? Even if he did turn out to be Bi then whats the problem? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    As for the 3somes thing, I once again am unconvinced that this could sway him being gay, I'd happily have a 3some with either members of sex and most of my friends would also and many of them are straight.

    If you are still worried then I think you should talk to him and open some of your concerns out in the air, maybe he is just feeling a little confused at the moment, this may just be a phase...

    It sounds to me that you are more worried about your relationship and loosing him... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    What are you actually asking here, babes? Do you think he's still experimenting with his cousin? Or are you worried he is gay or bi? Sorry - I know I'm a div but I'm not sure what the dilemma is here ...

    It seems to me that even if he had experimented in the past, he's with you now and his loyalties are to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    Right, first things first <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Your B/F sometimes asks you your opinions of how some other lads look, I wouldn't say this can be defined as homosexual behaviour, I mean I do it myself and my girl mates often say 'doesn't she look gorgeous', I'd say this is down to acknowledging a perticular persons attractiveness...

    If your BF has ever had, or rumoured to have samesex experiences in his youth then this also doesn't attribute to him being gay, this just attributes to him experimenting and trying to find out his sex type. If he says he loves you then do you really have anything to fear? Even if he did turn out to be Bi then whats the problem? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    As for the 3somes thing, I once again am unconvinced that this could sway him being gay, I'd happily have a 3some with either members of sex and most of my friends would also and many of them are straight.

    If you are still worried then I think you should talk to him and open some of your concerns out in the air, maybe he is just feeling a little confused at the moment, this may just be a phase...

    It sounds to me that you are more worried about your relationship and loosing him... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Damn! Justin posted first while I was typing mine up and he's saying EXACTLY what I was trying to say .... !!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Justin, you're cool! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh god now i sound really possessed and shit!! nooooooooo i know hes not having sex or ne thing with his cousin, but he wont admit 2 nething now im not sure if he did do nething with his cousin.

    but its not just the fact that he may be bi or wants a 3some but when i ask him why he wants a 3some he just says "dunno, iwant him2 be more open with me about stuff like that and i dont like the idea of having a 3some with some one i love and some1 else. i may have 1 with just mates but not my bf. even louder OMG i now sound like a dirty hoe!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Babes, don't do anything you don't wanna do - even if your b/f asks you to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmmm no i wouldnt ive been hurt in the past by doing that. i dont think jamie would come out and ask me though.

    we kinda finished the other day, cos hes been so moody nowadays but when ever i bring it up he says im 2 moody.

    only i can admit to it cos i am depressed (i think) and im going to the docs 2moro, but i never seem 2 get ne support on that account.

    r u with AOL or could u log on to aol OR SUMMOT THEN WE COULD all chat cos that stupid yahoo thing wont work!???????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    If I'm a non-AOL user, can I still use AOL chat?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think so, im not sure u could logon 2 www.aol.com and c if u can
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by J@ke:
    Damn! Justin posted first while I was typing mine up and he's saying EXACTLY what I was trying to say .... !!!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Justin, you're cool! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    ohh shucks.. thanx J@ke! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    jolizzie, I know its a difficult time, talking and being open about your sexual history/past is a difficult thing to do.. maybe he doesn't want to talk about it as it might make him feel threatend, its a male thing <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    ... and I don't think you can talk on AOLchat without AOL, I'll look into it... you could always use MIRC or Yahoo chat perhaps.. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Keep Smiling...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I'll try and set it up now ... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    ... and I don't think you can talk on AOLchat without AOL, I'll look into it... you could always use MIRC or Yahoo chat perhaps.. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Keep Smiling...


    Yup, I'm having problems with AOL chat. Jolizzie has problems with Yahoo ... so maybe ICQ or something? Grrrrrrrr!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is there ne way all of us can chat???? OMG its so annoying!!!

    i know he finds it hard 2 talk but he wants me 2 talk i just wish hed let go a bit more
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jolizzie11:
    i know he finds it hard 2 talk but he wants me 2 talk i just wish hed let go a bit more

    I guess the thing is that people all need secrets, we need our private things to ourselfs... its a protection mechanism and thats why people can find it difficult to let go... The only thing you can do is reassurance and be there for him.. these things are built up on trust...

    Film Quote of the Day:

    Shallow Grave - "if you can't trust your friends what then?"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i know but how much longer we havebeen together nearly 14 months!
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by jolizzie11:
    is there ne way all of us can chat???? OMG its so annoying!!!

    i know he finds it hard 2 talk but he wants me 2 talk i just wish hed let go a bit more

    firstly id just like to say i know how you feel about that, my bf doesnt talk to me half as much as id like him to <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; i mean about anything, doesnt phone or text or even talk on the net much anymore. but he finds it hard opening up to people and i knwo all that, but it doesnt stop me wishing he would open up to me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; (i dont think hes gonna read this coz he doesnt read thesite hardly ever anymore, but if you do, dont get mad at me for posting this please!!!)
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    Your B/F sometimes asks you your opinions of how some other lads look, I wouldn't say this can be defined as homosexual behaviour, I mean I do it myself and my girl mates often say 'doesn't she look gorgeous', I'd say this is down to acknowledging a perticular persons attractiveness...

    i said the same thing pretty much to you jolizzie in the bisexuality topic, id not read this one!!

    even if your bf is bi, then it wont affect his feelings for you, bi people like the opposite sex too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; and he loves you, you've been together a long time, he obviously finds you attractive, no matter what his potential feelings for the same sex are.

    justin and j@ke have already said all i was gonna say <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt; hehe <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;



    Burn baby burn!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey jolizzie11
    umm will I was reading the post I was thinking (i'm just taking a guess here) but it could be your b/f doesn't know how he feels or won't admit to himself(let alone you) that he is attracted to the same sex (i mean it is a hard thing to figure out)
    when do fantices stop being just that and start being feelings. i'm just taking a guess i'm probally wrong

    (you know your b/f better then all of us does he usually share his problems with you? and if he doesn't that seems like a bigger problem than anything right now)




    I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have loads of gay mates (some who were straight turned gay ) and trust me he doesn't sound it. I have ppl who were married turned gay and plenty of other sits..... my thing is .....i wouldn't say he was... GAY just thought i'd gett hat across
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no he dont usually share his probs wit me, and im only saying he dont SEEM 2 really be that bothered about mine.

    he says i dont share my probs wit him but when i do hell just interupt n start talking about summot else, so when that happens u kinda just get a bit narked and keep self.

    i dont really think he is gay or bi but i think maybe he has questioned his sexality before, but he will just think i will think hes QUEER if he talks about it .

    im getting really fed up about the way things are between us..........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea I how u feel because I act like your boyfriend does to. I start to feel like well it's not my boyfriends problem so whats the point in telling him there is nothing he can do about it. then eventually u end up being with a stranger because u guys can't talk to each other.

    well I'm telling you right now that this train of thought doesn't work for relationship(I know from experiance)
    what we did (me and my ex) was once we figured out we could not share things with each other we sat down together and we would time ourselfs for 5 mins i would talk he would would not interupt for any reason AT ALL and then he would go. we also tried writing letters to tell each other how we felt.(always easier than talking face to face) It worked for the most part I mean at first u start like this then eventually you let the other person make a few comments then u try actually talking to each other like normal people would I know it sounds totally silly but there was no other way for us to talk to each other without getting mad and leaving and even doing it this way took some time.But I loved my boyfriend as I'm sure you do and I didn't want to lose him.

    U need to make sure u both want to do this u can't make anyone listen or share stuff if they really don't want to. but I know for sure you can't leave things the way they r.

    I really hoped this works out for u jolizzie11 anymore questions just ask ok <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;




    I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is.
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