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child abuse
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, i'm sorry, this maybe isn't the best forum for this, but couldn't really think where else to put it... urm... inform me if i should move it.
i found out yesterday that my friend, who has been being really bitchy recently, is like that because she was sexually abused by her grandad when she was 6. she's been bottling it up all this time, unable to tell her family in case it wrecks the family, or puts her grandma in an awful situation. its filling her thoughts all the time so she can't cope with everyday things. i really need to help her, and maybe help her tell her parents, as i think they should know. she has to see her grandad every week and it brings it all flooding back. i really need to know what i can do to help her, does anyone have any advice? thanks, and sorry if this is the wrong board, i just need advice as its so difficult.
thanks.
i found out yesterday that my friend, who has been being really bitchy recently, is like that because she was sexually abused by her grandad when she was 6. she's been bottling it up all this time, unable to tell her family in case it wrecks the family, or puts her grandma in an awful situation. its filling her thoughts all the time so she can't cope with everyday things. i really need to help her, and maybe help her tell her parents, as i think they should know. she has to see her grandad every week and it brings it all flooding back. i really need to know what i can do to help her, does anyone have any advice? thanks, and sorry if this is the wrong board, i just need advice as its so difficult.
thanks.
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Comments
how old is ur friend now?
Charley
XxXxXxX
Know im not much help <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
She's 14 now, and she's been bottling it up all these years and only managed to tell us yesterday over the phone. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I mean she's cut herself before, and we were very concerned, but as her mum knew we didn't think we could do any more than she could. now it really worries me that she'll do something worse, but maybe in telling someone it will make it less hard.
Get her to phone Childline, 0800 1111 http://www.childline.org.uk/
A friend of mine told me that she had been abused by her father from the age of 6 to the age of 14. It affected her badly and she had to have counselling before she could even tell her husband.
Her father has now been prosecuted (even though many years had passed) and alot of her pain has been healed.
Your friend might not want to follow the route of prosecution, but she has to bring it more into the open for her own sanity and also for the possible protection of other children.
Please, try to get her to phone childline.
j9
but something similar happened to me with my friends father when i was little.
do you know if her granddad has ever done or tried to do anything since?
to have to face someone after they've abused you should not happen. it depends on her relationship with her family as to how they would react to the situation, but if theyre close, i cant imagine that they wouldnt understand. yes it will be hard, but these are secrets that arent meant to be kept.
i never told anyone until a few months ago, and i still cant put it behind me. if there is any possibility that your friend could make this man pay for what he's done, then she really does need to get this out. she can't live like that.
For a minute there I thought this was somebody I knew talking about me. I dunno if anyone on here knows about my past but they do now. I cant beleive this story, its practically exactly like what I went through.
I told a friend of mine who told a teacher at school and then my familly. I hated her for doing it at the time but now I realise that she did what she thought was the right thing. In some ways I wish my parents never knew but I no longer see him and that in itself is a good thing. Also my parent finally understood why I was hurting myself so much. I think u should tell somebody, be it her familly or another adult because in the long term this is definatly the best things for her. She may hate u for it to start with but trust me she will thank you for it later in life, this girl is really suffering having to see this person every week.
Reading your post has really hit me hard, I hope that your friend is helped soon, good luck!
It sounds likely that they split up because she felt uncomfortablke, its hardle surprising. If your friend could get online sometime Id gladly talk to her, I think I could be a big help as our stories r so similar!
If there's anything we can do here, just ask <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> take care, and good luck with and to your friend.
Luk
~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~
Anyway when Nina was young her uncle sexually abused her. In the book she's 16 and she finally tells her best friend about it because her uncle's coming to stay and she's really scared. It ends up with Nina telling her dad who sorts everything out.
I just thought I'd mention that coz I haven't got any personal experience on the subject .... my best friend's dad used to beat her up and I was crap at giving her advice over that, I just encouraged her to talk to me whenever she wanted and I think that helped.
It didnt make it too painfull, just a bit of a shock thats all. Maybe u should try to talk to her again instead of leaving it. She might be not bringing it up because she dosent think its important enough (stupoid as that may sound) but really she may be wanting someone to talk to. It could also be that she is trying not to think about it and pretend nothing happened, in which case she wont wanna talk about it. All u can to is talk to her a find out for yourself. I really think that u should tell somebody about this though, perhaps talk to her first and give her the chance to tell someone herself.