If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Stop self harming
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
after looking through the sticky at the top of the page (the link in which is broken btw) I found&read;
"Write down who/what you are angry at rather than taking that anger out on yourself"
so...
Why the fuck can't I do any work! I turn my fucking pc off, sit here, read through exam papers, stop, stare at the bloody table for half an hour, day dream, go make some coffee, cut my arm, read notes, panic some more...
aarrggrggghh, I am so angry at MYSELF for not having any bloody motivation, when these exams actually count this year, and start tommorrow. I half blame the fact the year is badly planned out so that there was hardly any time to revise after doing and finishing coursework.
there's so much to remember, so little time, I dont know what to do, and to make things worse I started cutting my arm yesterday and I had no idea I was so WEAK.
so damn angry at myself, I'm going to feel so let down and
at myself should these exams go badly, just :mad: :mad: :mad: grrr!!
:banghead:
sorry to waste your time, please feel no obligation to read all of this, I just had to vent
"Write down who/what you are angry at rather than taking that anger out on yourself"
so...
Why the fuck can't I do any work! I turn my fucking pc off, sit here, read through exam papers, stop, stare at the bloody table for half an hour, day dream, go make some coffee, cut my arm, read notes, panic some more...
aarrggrggghh, I am so angry at MYSELF for not having any bloody motivation, when these exams actually count this year, and start tommorrow. I half blame the fact the year is badly planned out so that there was hardly any time to revise after doing and finishing coursework.
there's so much to remember, so little time, I dont know what to do, and to make things worse I started cutting my arm yesterday and I had no idea I was so WEAK.
so damn angry at myself, I'm going to feel so let down and
at myself should these exams go badly, just :mad: :mad: :mad: grrr!!:banghead:
sorry to waste your time, please feel no obligation to read all of this, I just had to vent
0
Comments
can I suggest that you do one thing at a time, ie concentrate on your exams first then after they are over move on to stopping self harm? If it is a big part of your life then maybe you should try to stop when you have more time to keep reminding yourself why you are doing it and when you are not so stressed out? For now, make sure you stay safe and take care of yourself, remember to use every other method of safe anger release before you turn to cutting and get yourself through your work (which, by the way, you can do with no problem, just believe in yourself), and then when it's all out of the way kick self harm up the arse.
that's my suggestion anyway, feel free to ignore. Oh, and your post isn't wasting anyone's time if it made you feel a bit more relieved.
The best advice I can give you tonight is to put your notes away and get to bed. Have a nice relaxing bath, drink some milk or cocoa and get some sleep. If you can't sleep try reading a book or watching your favourite film to relax. In the state you are in currently you won't take any information in anyway and will just work yourself up into a greater state of panic.
Oh but read this first: http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/studying/exams/blitzingexams
Do the exam tomorrow, but speak to a tutor/ welfare officer/ teacher afterwards about how you are feeling. They may well be able to sort it out so you get special consideration in marking/ are able to resit the exams. They can also help with managing your revision/ workload/ stress. It really is better to speak up, even if you don't want to mention the self harm you can talk about how anxious you feel at the moment.
Once you have sorted out these hurdles you really should look to address your self harm, however only you can do this and only if you are ready to and want to. We have lots of information and links in our self harm section: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm (the correct link!). I'd recommend talking to your GP or a student counsellor or at the very least a trusted friend/ adult.
Take care of you
Good luck tomorrow
http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/studying/exams/revisionbasics
Susie x
Careline
Telephone counselling service for children, young people and adults on any issue, including relationships, depression, mental health, child abuse, addictions, stress etc.
Web: www.careline.org.uk
Tel: 020 8875 0500
Samaritans
Confidential help for anyone who is experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Web: www.samaritans.org.uk
Tel: 08457 909090
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Look, i know self harming is addictive, i have the scars to prove it. But it also covers up the problem and just keeps pushing it under the carpet until it comes out the other side. I know it's hard but you need to look at the bigger picture.
Why arn't you motivated? why not start giveing yourself little rewards like after doing you study for the day sitting and watching your fave program or something. start with little goals and work up.
I know that giving it up is very hard. I had a lot of help from friends, but i had to do a lot of work to get myself out of it.
sorry, this probably won't help much, and seem to becoming more of an evangelical bitch everyday, but PM me if you want.
Be kinder to yourself. I am new here so I haven't read a lot of your posts, but obviously you're struggling with depression,and the cutting. Depression doesn't come from just nowhere, whether it's past experience and growing up or whether it's brain chemicals, it's not something you sat down one day and decided for yourself. If you could control it, if you could just decide "right, I'm going to be motivated, I'm going to study, I'm not going to cut" - you would. Cut yourself some slack.
You are struggling with something difficult, something that can feel totally overwhelming. But today you posted this, as a way of stopping yourself cutting. That was strong. Remember that, you're not weak. You're strong. You're just fighting something really big and nasty, and not giving yourself much credit for how hard it is.
Best wishes to you.
thankyou all for the kind words, think I've got it better controlled now... managed to get some good (though last minute) work done before both my exams, and havnt added to the other cuts, which is pretty good.
plus, half my exams are over now, and I've got a week to prep for the next lot.
I have no idea what came over me, I've never done anything like this to myself before- sure I've been depressed due to exam stress, but I've never cut. :eek2:
thanks again for all the advice people
time for some seriously loud electronica now me thinks :yes: