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just when you thought everything was ok...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
someone goes and fucks it up! :::sigh:::
some guy my gf used to hang around with has turned up on her door today saying hes just broke up with his gf anf wants to get with her - she tells him shes not interested and that she loves me so he tells her how hes going to 'bomb me out' (yeah like this is really going to make her fall for him :rolleyes: )
so anyway he storms off ranting about how hes gonna batter me.
he says hes going to go back round tommorow (im going to be there, and no im not going to back down if he starts on me)
if it was just one guy this wouldnt bother me too much but this guy is a member of one of the most notorious families in my town and not the kind of people you want to mess with...
so erm...how do i get out of this one?:nervous:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't answer the door, Don't think with your balls, Do give the police a ring if you have to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Don't answer the door, Don't think with your balls, Do give the police a ring if you have to.

    i know i'll probably be labeled now for retaliating to 'street laws' but i cant just hide away, problems dont get solved that way and i'd be forever labeled as a pussy which is not something im prepared to do. he just needs to get over it because i know its jealousy, wanting what he cant have but thats his problem, what is starting on me going to solve?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *gone*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by icey
    i know i'll probably be labeled now for retaliating to 'street laws' but i cant just hide away, problems dont get solved that way and i'd be forever labeled as a pussy which is not something im prepared to do. he just needs to get over it because i know its jealousy, wanting what he cant have but thats his problem, what is starting on me going to solve?

    what is fighting back going to solve?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yep- idea is if you don't give him the chance, eventually he'll get bored and move on.

    if you retaliate, it's likely to start a gang war thing- him coming back to get you again... etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its tough aint it cos basically if you dont stick up your labelled and gonna get a torrent of abuse but if you fight you could well get your head kicked in.

    If it were me personally I stand up to him and hope I'd have friends to back me up if I did get the shite kicked out of me. Also if you dont stick up for yourself the guys blatently gonna 'harass' your gf further.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NaRaYaN
    Its tough aint it cos basically if you dont stick up your labelled and gonna get a torrent of abuse but if you fight you could well get your head kicked in.

    If it were me personally I stand up to him and hope I'd have friends to back me up if I did get the shite kicked out of me. Also if you dont stick up for yourself the guys blatently gonna 'harass' your gf further.

    Gotta agree.

    You cant sit back and hide because he will have more of a reason to try and get ya. If you stand up to him and hope for the best then it might just be a silly argument with a little pushing hopefully no punching.

    I fucking hate guys like that, makes the rest of us decent guys look bad and theres just no point in it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Don't answer the door, Don't think with your balls, Do give the police a ring if you have to.

    ha!! the police :rolleyes: get a baseball bat and put a few nails through it and batter him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by turlough
    ha!! the police :rolleyes: get a baseball bat and put a few nails through it and batter him.

    Which, in fact, has been proven to solve ALL the world's problems.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Which, in fact, has been proven to solve ALL the world's problems.

    what the police or fighting :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by turlough
    what the police or fighting :p

    a bat with nails in it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends on how quick a reaction time the police have. Round here it's not very quick. Within that time limit the bloke could have smashed the door down and grabbed icey already by the point he gets there.

    Problem is with unhinged muppets like this bloke whatever you do will result in a problem.

    Face up to him and hurt him = his friends getting righteous and beat living daylights out of you

    Face up to him and he hurts u = pain and police and then retaliation

    Hide, ring police = he gets arrested/cautioned = you have to watch your back for retaliation.


    Although i have to say this, if anything does happen, whatever it may be and he's threatening violence then try and get a restraining order against him from either you or your girlfriend.

    I really hope you manage to sort it all out icey
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    a bat with nails in it.

    oh but the police will do much "help there's a threatening boy out here saying he's going to hit me for going out with his mate," go out and give the boy a hiding and he'll know better not to come back, men work that way, especially when it comes ot girls, girls can't give any advice in a situation like iceys
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Possibly not, I can tell you that any guy that starts a fight that I would disapprove of wouldn't be going out with me for much longer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by turlough
    oh but the police will do much "help there's a threatening boy out here saying he's going to hit me for going out with his mate," go out and give the boy a hiding and he'll know better not to come back, men work that way, especially when it comes ot girls, girls can't give any advice in a situation like iceys

    Silly me...the female mind obviously can't cope with the harsh reality...what a load of bollox. Answer the door, ask if you can help, attempt a rational discussion, if no such luck or if he starts giving you a nudge, shut the door... if he returns, don't answer- then consider the police? I mean, partially because I'm female (according to Turlough) may not allow me to enter into the male psychee (sp?!) but if I was your gf, I'd prefer you, if you're the kind of bloke who isn't taken back by the possibility of a bloke threatening you physically, then yeh, answer the door by all means, I'd be there too so if he had anything to say such as, in true grunting caveman stylee "I want your woman" you'd make the idea that it ain't gonna happen put across, I'd also demonstrate this with similar words to the same effect and then I'd happily prefer to witness my bloke being able to stay rational and unprovoked by this pathetic excuse of a thug, and be able to walk away. A bloke who thinks a good ol' game of fisty-cuffs is gonna win my heart can start walking now...it's not attractive to see a bloke demonstrate such a severe lack of control or level-headedness in that sorta situation. I'd prefer the one whose mature enough to walk away, not one that'll be donning facial bruising and scars because he throught looking like a puffy bruised potato was the only way to stop someone else taking me...which on another note, wouldn't demonstrate a lot of faith in your gf if you thought you'd have to fight to keep her affections and make this guy back off.

    Malt Munk x :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by malteser monkay
    Silly me...the female mind obviously can't cope with the harsh reality...what a load of bollox.

    what reality, i'm just saying that girls will reacxt differently than boys in this situaton, well of course not all of them, so when i say girls and boys i mean it in a majority sense, i'm not saying you're not smart enough to see where we are comin form, i'm just saying girls don't know what it's like to be a man, men are offensive in nature, it's competition, showing who's boss, sorry you'se just don't understand
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i stand up to him next time he comes round, id fight him if necessery, but id hope my gf would just tell him he has no chance cause hes a utter prick, if she didnt, i wouldnt know what to think of her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in the exact same position execpt it wasn't a member of a notorious family it was a member of a Greek gang in north london!!

    I just threw him back by taking the initiative and phoned him. Asked him what his problem was. I wouldn't be shouting nor on the offensive at all.

    Just state that you understand why he is like he is towards you BOTH. (remember to try and refer to you or her as a UNIT. It'll sink in soon enough)

    Say you're together and your you feel what he feels but hes just gotta move on to a new girl that can love him for him instead of having to force his way with somebody else's.

    The guy I did it with kinda shit his pants...understood, woke up then fucked off.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Apologies for sounding so harsh in my reply! It was just when you said
    girls can't give any advice in a situation like iceys

    just seemed a bit like the 'any' bit, as though we're incapable ! So I do apologise! I understood what you meant in your resonse to my reply but it was just that bit made me feel like females responses became irrelevant! I mean blokes I've always gone out with tend to be renound for violence for some reason, especially in their younger years. The current one would definitely square up to someone who was causing mischief but if I said 'I don't want you to get in a violent situation, I want you to walk away" then he would. I know some blokes have a fighting instinct but at the same time, it doesn't solve anything. It'd just become an tlon going thing if he started a fight now. I mean if at a later date he was apprehended and constantly started on, I could understand it but would hope he'd always manage to walk away when there is choice

    Malt Munk xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by turlough
    go out and give the boy a hiding and he'll know better not to come back, men work that way,

    Unless they are unhinged and see it as fuck that blokes just banged me one "revenge is needed". Not all blokes turn round and say hey the best man won do they! If someone is a big enough knob to start going on about banging the ex's new bloke out when he has no reason then he isn't exactly going to take kindly to getting a good hiding is he? This arsehole sounds like he's more likely to come back with a few mates and do icey over to get back his pride at being battered.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When did i ever mention he was an ex?
    The guy only barely knows her as a friend!

    (note to mods: ive noticed this thread is on the front page, could one of you nice people see around to changing the title of the link as its not an ex who wants, well wanted, a fight)

    just a little update: i went round there so i was there for when he said he was going to go back, he turned up, my girl wouldnt let me near the door because i got pissed off and said 'fuck it im just gonna smack him anyway'(and meant it) so she answered the door to talk to him, just mentioned i was there and he got a bit worried and just said 'is he goin anytime soon?' to which she replied no, so he said 'oh ok..erm....see ya then' and walked off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by malteser monkay
    Silly me...the female mind obviously can't cope with the harsh reality...what a load of bollox. Answer the door, ask if you can help, attempt a rational discussion, if no such luck or if he starts giving you a nudge, shut the door... if he returns, don't answer- then consider the police? I mean, partially because I'm female (according to Turlough) may not allow me to enter into the male psychee (sp?!) but if I was your gf, I'd prefer you, if you're the kind of bloke who isn't taken back by the possibility of a bloke threatening you physically, then yeh, answer the door by all means, I'd be there too so if he had anything to say such as, in true grunting caveman stylee "I want your woman" you'd make the idea that it ain't gonna happen put across, I'd also demonstrate this with similar words to the same effect and then I'd happily prefer to witness my bloke being able to stay rational and unprovoked by this pathetic excuse of a thug, and be able to walk away. A bloke who thinks a good ol' game of fisty-cuffs is gonna win my heart can start walking now...it's not attractive to see a bloke demonstrate such a severe lack of control or level-headedness in that sorta situation. I'd prefer the one whose mature enough to walk away, not one that'll be donning facial bruising and scars because he throught looking like a puffy bruised potato was the only way to stop someone else taking me...which on another note, wouldn't demonstrate a lot of faith in your gf if you thought you'd have to fight to keep her affections and make this guy back off.

    Malt Munk x :)

    To be honest, Turlough is right, you don't understand the male pysche ;) . If someone's calling it on with you over a girl, the natural male instinct is to go for it...to do the opposite would show weakness and be seen as the submissive male...not exactly desirable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, there you go Icey! The little boy has quite clearly showed you what sort of bully he is-All mouth and no action. That could all change but it would make me feel better knowing that he had the oppertunity and didnt make anything of it. Maybe thats the end of that. If not though, why dont you get your girlfriend to have it out with him. If she makes it quite clear she isnt interested, he should get the picture. That way your not directly involved so you cant get called a 'pussy' or be a target for retaliation. I know confrontation isnt for all girls but thats just me personally. If some prick thought that by turning up on my doorstep and threatening my boyfriend he could win me back, id be both insulted and angry. If they were friends, she knows him well and he clearly likes her so see if she can sort it out. That seems the most sensible solution for everyone.
    Good Luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't answer the door, and if anyone starts calling you a pussy or whatever because of it then just say you were too busy in bed with your girlfriend to get up and let him in.

    But it doesn't sound like he's really going to try anything, to be honest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has your girlfriend tried to stop him from doing this? If they are 'friends' she should be able to turn round and tell him hes being a twat. If he threatens her, then hes a no good fucking mickey mouse gangster who deserves a good kicking.

    If I were in YOUR position, I would fight back as much as I could, if it came round to it and his family got involved, I'd call the police and risk getting labelled a pussy. Get over it, at the end of the day, you'd come out of it a better person for protecting yourself and your girlfriend, why care what other people think of you? If they're ignorant enough to think it, then I wouldnt give a shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by SuicideBlonde
    if it came round to it and his family got involved, I'd call the police and risk getting labelled a pussy. Get over it, at the end of the day, you'd come out of it a better person for protecting yourself and your girlfriend

    and also have no teeth and probably be swimming in lead boots...

    why is nobody listening to me anyway!? the guy IS NOT one of her exes. hes just somebody she knows.
    he's not even a close mate or anything just like a friend of a friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Carolina
    This arsehole sounds like he's more likely to come back with a few mates and do icey over to get back his pride at being battered.

    bingo! but replace 'mates' with 'seriously tapped in the head hard fucking pyscho bastards' and youre pretty much there.
    its over now anyway, the guys out the picture. but then nobody bothered to read my updating post anyway...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by icey
    and also have no teeth and probably be swimming in lead boots...

    why is nobody listening to me anyway!? the guy IS NOT one of her exes. hes just somebody she knows.
    he's not even a close mate or anything just like a friend of a friend.

    Then hes a nobody. A **** who thinks that having a 'hard family' is something to be proud of.

    Theres nothing I hate more than someone bigging themselves up by boasting of their back up. Grow up, be a man and deal with it yourself for fucks sake without the help of others.

    And ANYWAY, that has to be the most pathetic reason for wanting to hurt someone, he sounds like he needs to sort his life out, pronto.
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