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Breaking Up With People...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Does it get any easier the more you do it? 'Cause I broke up with someone for the first time (well, actually I did it twice, I'll explain in a minute), and I feel like the biggest bitch in the entire world.
So I was with this guy for like 2 months, he (for some strange unknown reason) thought he was in love with me. All was good, I was enjoying myself. But then as time went on (into the about 6 week stage) I started thinking that maybe this wasn't what I wanted. But me being me, I put it down to being scared. I eventually started thinking I was in love with him also. So it comes to the 2 month stage, and we're housesitting at my older sister's house, and I think, ok. This is ok. All good. But then when we was on the sofa, I said "I love you" and straight away I thought "oh fuck, no I don't".
So I think about it, and I think about it more, but I don't let on that I'm thinking about it. Until I make a decision. I didn't want to do it like I did, but when he said he couldn't come and see me last weekend, I said "I really need to talk to you actually". And it kinda got forced out of me over MSN...which I hated. And I hated myself because he thought it was because of someone else, which it wasn't. And I broke his heart. And I hate that
So anyway, after this, I had all kinds of everyone telling me I'm an idiot, because he is an amazingly nice person, which sucks because it's nothing to do with who he is, I'm just an idiot, and he blamed himself. My mum, and my sister, and everyone started trying to convince me to get back with him. And I felt really bad about breaking his heart and all that...so I decided to think about it.
After a couple of days I thought I'd decided, but I told he had to wait until Friday (today) for my decision. This was in case I changed my mind. But I got to college on Monday, and everyone told me I was mean and torturing him. So I told him I would get back with him like, if he wanted to.
But this week I was thinking about it, and I kinda have been changing my mind. And today...he came to see me...and I just thought...I can't do this. I'm lying to him, and myself, and everyone. But I was also still thinking, I'll stick it out, see how it goes.
But the idiot that is me, while he was downstairs, I came upstairs to text one of the people that knew I was thinking about it, saying "This is killing me. He knows somethings wrong as well.". But I accidentally sent it to him instead...leading to lots of questions and lots of me doing the usual not being able to tell him how I feel thing. I AM AN IDIOT. And I feel like crap again. It's like...he's the perfect boyfriend...but I don't want that. I don't even think I want a boyfriend at all at the moment.
So yes, does it get any easier? Because I'm sitting here beating myself up about it. I hate myself, I feel like such a bitch. And I know all of you are thinking "But you are". I know that.
Just...mih
Franki-Chicken
x
So I was with this guy for like 2 months, he (for some strange unknown reason) thought he was in love with me. All was good, I was enjoying myself. But then as time went on (into the about 6 week stage) I started thinking that maybe this wasn't what I wanted. But me being me, I put it down to being scared. I eventually started thinking I was in love with him also. So it comes to the 2 month stage, and we're housesitting at my older sister's house, and I think, ok. This is ok. All good. But then when we was on the sofa, I said "I love you" and straight away I thought "oh fuck, no I don't".
So I think about it, and I think about it more, but I don't let on that I'm thinking about it. Until I make a decision. I didn't want to do it like I did, but when he said he couldn't come and see me last weekend, I said "I really need to talk to you actually". And it kinda got forced out of me over MSN...which I hated. And I hated myself because he thought it was because of someone else, which it wasn't. And I broke his heart. And I hate that
So anyway, after this, I had all kinds of everyone telling me I'm an idiot, because he is an amazingly nice person, which sucks because it's nothing to do with who he is, I'm just an idiot, and he blamed himself. My mum, and my sister, and everyone started trying to convince me to get back with him. And I felt really bad about breaking his heart and all that...so I decided to think about it.
After a couple of days I thought I'd decided, but I told he had to wait until Friday (today) for my decision. This was in case I changed my mind. But I got to college on Monday, and everyone told me I was mean and torturing him. So I told him I would get back with him like, if he wanted to.
But this week I was thinking about it, and I kinda have been changing my mind. And today...he came to see me...and I just thought...I can't do this. I'm lying to him, and myself, and everyone. But I was also still thinking, I'll stick it out, see how it goes.
But the idiot that is me, while he was downstairs, I came upstairs to text one of the people that knew I was thinking about it, saying "This is killing me. He knows somethings wrong as well.". But I accidentally sent it to him instead...leading to lots of questions and lots of me doing the usual not being able to tell him how I feel thing. I AM AN IDIOT. And I feel like crap again. It's like...he's the perfect boyfriend...but I don't want that. I don't even think I want a boyfriend at all at the moment.
So yes, does it get any easier? Because I'm sitting here beating myself up about it. I hate myself, I feel like such a bitch. And I know all of you are thinking "But you are". I know that.
Just...mih
Franki-Chicken
x
0
Comments
but you're being honest, and you're being fair. so that makes you not a bitch.
sometimes you break hearts, and sometimes your heart gets broken, and it sucks, but it happens, and you have the get through it the best way you can.
pretending to like him when your heart's not really into it would be loads worse, IMO.
YES :yes:
I wish more people would realise this. It pisses me off so much when people say they're staying with someone for the time being, because they don't want to hurt their feelings or whatever. What the fuck? How the hell would you feel if someone turned around and said 'I've been thinking about breaking up with you for the past couple of months, and everyone else knows I've been thinking about it, but I stayed with you and pretended I still wanted to be with you, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings'. ARGH it makes me so mad. It's just so cowardly, and what makes it worse is they cover up their cowardliness by pretending they're just doing it for the other person's sake.
Sorry Franki, that wasn't meant to reflect badly on you! Because you've done the right thing and it makes you feel like a bitch, which sucks. But being a good person doesn't mean you have to go out with people you don't want to go out with just so you can make them happy. My friend seems to have this problem - she's always scared to say no to guys because she doesn't want to upset them, but if someone likes you that much then you can't just humour their feelings indefinitely! It's so hard when you feel like a bitch, and he might be pissed off with you for a while, but eventually he'll see that you did the right thing and that you didn't string him along. Which would have hurt him a lot more.
I'm sure nobody who read your post is thinking you're a bitch, so get that thought out of your mind.
Does anyone not hate it?!
Keep your chin up...it will get better I promise.
Its better to let it go now than hold on and hurt you!!!
Ive heard it many times and its on Usherts tune Burn!
At the end of the day if you have doubts or dont wanna be with someone then your best to say and get things in the open rather than live a lie.
I think if someone had stayed with me for the sake of just not wanting to say anything then it would be much worse when it did happen than if they had told me at the time.