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A Problem with a buddie

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
HI,

new here first thread and all,

I have a problem with a mate lets call him fred, I have a really wierd personally and tend to poke fun at everyone, thats just me,

Lately fred hasnt been too happy with things in his world, and i have tried to be a mate, tried to leave him alone and poked a bit of fun at him

now frd is really pissed off with me coz he thinks i fancey him, but i dont.

I really care about fred and dont like it when he's hurting coz it's really hard to try and make him feel better,

now fred isnt talking to me, and said he's throwing away a gift i got him for his 18th, which is his choise but i think he might re-gret it,

anyways what can i do!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    has he said why he thinks u fancy him and are you gay?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes,

    I used to like him a lot
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is he gay?? bcos some guys are naturally wary of being very close mates with a friendly homo sexual guy - incase they themselves get seen as gay also and get treated differently??
    SBG
    BTW i am definately not saying there's anything wrong with homosexual men (or women) just that some people think that there is??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you told "fred" that you don't fancy him?
    I think I agree with SBG - it's probably just that your friend has noticed that you are caring about him snd has put 2 + 2 together with knowing that you are gay - and come up with 2 + 2 = 5!(so to speak)
    what can i do!
    - You simply need to talk to him, tell him this is not the case, tell him you were concerned for him because he wasn't too happy, and that you were just "trying to be a mate" for him, and there was nothing more than that.
    I'm sure if you try to talk to him and try to explain; I'm sure he will understand. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh just talk to him, and tell him you was being a friend as he seemed like he needed soemone to talk to, not trying it on him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This sounds like his problem rather than yours, to be honest. I mean, of course it's hurtful to you but I don't think he can be genuinely upset that he thinks you fancy him, I think he's possibly just taking out whatever's bothering him on you.

    I think maybe you need to give him some space, as your attempts to cheer him up have obviously backfired and if you try to talk to him rationally when he's in such an irrational mood then it probably won't help.

    I reckon you should tell him 'I'll be here if you need me, but I'm going to give you some space as I'm obviously not helping here and you've hurt me too, you know.'

    Then let him be for a while. Most likely he'll get in touch but if he doesn't after a couple of weeks you could give him a call again. Just don't push things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah he's totally gay so it's not that issuse,

    I am giving him space now, and i know he sometimes reads the site, so he might read this with some luck,

    thankx for all your comments that's kinda helped
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think he fancies me. He blamed me for my mates not liking him, when in actual fact my mates don't like him because he calls them fat and stupid to their faces.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To correct that

    The last time we fell out he told his friends lots of things about me and him, making it look worse on me than him, so as good mates do they stick up for him,

    but when were mates again he doesnt tell them to leave off when im talking to him so i end up telling them to exridite them selves from my pressance,

    i dont blame him for that, but if he wasnt too scared of having them think he's able to forgive me and be my mate, he would tell them that were mates,

    and he cant do that and it hurts because i stick up for him, and he cant return the effort
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK. Dirty Laundry. Stop it.

    Talk to each other, not to other people in front of each other. That's just rude.
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