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Confidence
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,
I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to girls and stuff, I've very shy and every time I get a remote chance to speak to someone I like, I chicken out...
Whats the best way to get my confidence up to be able to speak (when I say speak, I mean just saying 'Hi' !) to people I like?
Thanks all
I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to girls and stuff, I've very shy and every time I get a remote chance to speak to someone I like, I chicken out...
Whats the best way to get my confidence up to be able to speak (when I say speak, I mean just saying 'Hi' !) to people I like?
Thanks all
0
Comments
You've just got to prepare yourself for the worst (rejection), and take the chance. If you say nothing, then nothing will happen. You will never know if anything would happen. If you take the chance and say "Hi", even just that one word, then you never know where it'll lead. Possibly nowhere, but you never know, and you will never know unless you try. A quick smile, and the word "Hi". Just try it.
Look at it this way. If you say it, and nothing happens, then you know nothing will probably happen. If you don't say it, then it's a surefire bet that nothing will happen. So what have you got to loose? Take a chance.
There's no other advice I can give you.
You never know what good may happen if you don't take the plunge. The more you say 'hi' the easy it'll become. The 1st time maybe the hardest but it'll give you a huge confidence boost if you get a positive reply in return.
exactly. It diffuses the situation if you view it like this, think of it as talking to a potential friend friend rather than a potential pull. When I met my boyfriend I fancied him immediately, but didn't try to chat him up (indeed, being quite shy and lacking confidence I didn't think there was any point; "nobody ever fancies meee") so I just began to whitter on to him about this and that as we were eating (it was a uni society social so there was a whole group of us at a restaurant) just like I was doing to everyone else...as it was my fist time at Labour Club, everyone was asking me the usual introductions kind of crap. My boyfriend was also being quite subtle, so I had no idea he liked me, but the conversation was so much easier because there was no importance attached to it - I didn't see it as a make or break kind of thing.
Then we all went to on to a club and at some point he kissed me!
I didn't see it coming at all....but we're still here over 3 and a half years later.
But I'm not sure it would have happened if I'd started talking to him thinking of the conversation as a chatting up exercise (I probably wouldn't have got past saying hi either!) and if he'd used any of the standard chat up lines I would have run a mile.
so yeah, treat it as an ordinary conversation
But i agree with what everyone said, dont go out there thinkin "gotta pull, gotta impress, gotta be a sex god"....just talk to her/him/them/it. lol. I mean, we're all people in the end....
Peace
As I said, I fancied him, so of course it was ok! And we were both a little drunk
If you're getting signals that the girl likes you then there's no reason why not. In my case we had been chatting for ages beforehand, so it wasn't like he just came up to me and snogged me immediately, which would have been a bit more disconcerting, I admit....
Just play the situation by ear