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breakin down the closet doors
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all.
This evening I made the hardest decision of my life, and told my mother that I was a lesbian. I can't realy explain why, but I had to tell her, I couldnt keep this huge secret with me any longer.
I don't live at home and most of my friends know, so that was the next step.
I thought she would either support me or reject me, but all she did was tell me that this was a phase and that I was childish and to young to understand.
In the end she hurt me by saying wht she did.
I just want to know if any of the gay, les, bi people on this forum have come out to friends and family, what their experiences were like etc.
thanx
A.
This evening I made the hardest decision of my life, and told my mother that I was a lesbian. I can't realy explain why, but I had to tell her, I couldnt keep this huge secret with me any longer.
I don't live at home and most of my friends know, so that was the next step.
I thought she would either support me or reject me, but all she did was tell me that this was a phase and that I was childish and to young to understand.
In the end she hurt me by saying wht she did.
I just want to know if any of the gay, les, bi people on this forum have come out to friends and family, what their experiences were like etc.
thanx
A.
0
Comments
im not a lesbian or bi, but i think that maybe your mum's just abit shocked. im sure she didnt mean what she said, its just taking her some time getting used to the idea, after all she's known you all your life+has just assumed you're straight.
Well done on telling her tho, as it must have been so hard :thumb:
SBG
and let yr mum here it then she will beleave you:cool:
i dont see why people feel the need to tell everyone, do i care who you wanna sleep with!?
if it someone you want to talk about it with, sure, or if it someone who likes you or you like, but cant think of many other situations
I can totally see the point. But, it changes when you get into a long term thing.
Say for example you're gay and your brother gets married, who do you invite to go with you? You want it to be your partner but you cant really if your folks dont know.
Same as if you end up living with someone, it would just get really wierd not telling your folks.
Up untill that point though I really see no need to, but if you choose to thats your business.
Let's hope that one day everyone will have the 'who cares who you sleep with' attitude... But there are still prejudices out there and people who say it's a phase, or the dreaded kneejerk reaction 'it's fasionable!'
I personally can't see the fuss, but from a mother's perspective it alters ideas of the future... For example marriage and kids. I think at the moment leave things how they are, she should come to terms with it.
Loads of people experiment when they are in their late teens twenties, and then erm, pick a side, for want of putting it a better way.
Maybe not for you, but as a general argument.
You don't say how old you are. If you're not in your early twenties at least I'd say she had a huge point, much as you might disagree.
I agree that for many people it is 'just a phase'. I personally have known I was gay for quite a few years, I may only be 18, but that doesnt realy mean anything. There are women in their 30s and 40s who are not sure, and some in their teens that are. In the end its a personal thing.
Talked with my mother again today. I think it sank in while she was at work and she was realy upset by the time she got home. I understand that she is upset, I do. Its a shock, for sure. But somehow I at least think parents should be understanding? She told me that she did not want a daughter like that, called me names etc. Its just ouch. I never expected her to react like that.
As to the reason for telling people. At some stage I think it just difficult to keep such an important part of your life secret. And it gets old getting asked why there is no bf, the jokes etc. The other question is why should we keep it a secret. Straight people talk about their bf... whats the difference?
But yes, thats Life!
A.