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I know it's just stress (Probably)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
This post will probably turn out to be load of waffle but hopefully it will make me feel better. I've been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months now and we have great sex and for the past few months have had it everyday.

Normally I never have a problem getting an erection, normally it's the complete opposite! I've just started back at Uni to start my final year (ive' done a work placement) and things are gettting stressful. Yesterday I hd to do a presentation which was being assessed and I was petrified beforehand. Since last Saturday I've had problems getting it up. Previously, when i haven't been in the mood for sex, I've always been able to "perform". However on a few occasions this week I haven't probably because of stress.

Last night, presentation was done and dusted during the day and I thought I would be fine. Anyway, I got really anxious and only got a semi. I've been anxious ever since, luckily my girlfriend completely understands and I love her to be bits. it's definately not her or a problem with a our relationship because I don't think I coudn't get it up for anyone at the moment! Normally I'm so easily turned on but I can't at the moment. I'm so anxious about it and it's knocked my confidence big time.

Anyway advice to get over this anxiety? it's the first time I've ever had this problem.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey!
    just my opinion, but i reckon you cant perform as you're so worried about it. whether this is obvious, or sub-conscious (sp), it doesnt matter. the fact is - this is playing on your mind+therefore affecting your sex life.
    my advice - dont worry about it or think about it for a few days. talk to your g.f, as she seems really understanding :yes:
    Also, in future, try not to get so worked up about uni work - i know it can be scary+stressful, but you can only do your best :thumb:
    SBG
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're stressed so you don't get an erection, or you lose it.

    Sop next time you have sex, you worry about your erection, so it goes.

    So next time you have sex, you worry about your erection, so it goes.

    Don't worry about it, focus on non-penetrative sex for a week or so, relax and chill, and it should come back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *gone*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I know what you mean, Kermit actually Iv never tried and failed, Iv been so drunk and ill, that Iv refused, and on a couple of ocasions in winter its been too cold and it goes till I get warmed up.

    But If been walking home with a bird and the thought has poped into my head susposing I cant, fortunatly Iv managed to not think about it and always have.

    Its bound to be nerves thats why some porn stars couldnt get it up (untill Viagra) because of the cameras and crew making them nervous.

    Take it easy firstly dont feel you always have to doit when the girl wants, that could be whats doing it take it at your own pace, a bit of cuddeling etc should help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice, last night I managed to get a boner and quite turned on. My GF said it was a full on erection but to be honest it didn't feel like it to me. Think she was just saying it to make me more secure. She's on her period so no penetration for a week anyway now,

    we didn't have penetrative sex last night, but still got quite nervous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good for you :thumb: alls uve gotta remember is that sex isnt everything, and will happen naturally. the more you think about it, the more pressure you'll be put under!
    SBG
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a very common thing to happen, Stress and anxiety can very very easily lead to not being able to get it up (talking from experience too :p ).

    also, worrying about the fact that you can't get it up because you are stressed will prolong the problem...

    your gf sounds very supporting in the matter, so just, (as hard as it sounds) try not to worry about it, relax, and everything will be back to normal in no time. ;)
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