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Kicked Out / Disowned by Family
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I guess I'm just looking for some advice and some idea of what to say!
My best mate is, right now, on her way to my house (she lived about 2 hrs away, so she's on a train somewhere between the two atm).. She called me earlier, sobbing her heart out because she'd got in from work and received a letter from her parents, saying they were fed up of her behaviour and that she has a month to clear all traces of herself out of their house and then they never want to see her again!
She's not done anything too bad - the only problem is she's got herself into debt with various banks, store cards, hire purchase agreements, etc (roughly about £2-3k worth) and it's got to the point where threatening letters are being sent to their house. As she's away (originally at uni, but working in the same city as the uni since she dropped out after six months!), they've been opening her mail (against her wishes) and have, understandably, gone nuts. They aren't the most levelheaded of people anyway so have really gone off the deepend this time!
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any idea what to say to her or anything I could do to help. I printed all the debt stuff off thesite a few days ago and posted it to her, and she's going to phone the Credit Counselling Service (or something like that, I forget the name!) tomorrow and has already phoned the bank and sorted out a repayment plan.
Any ideas anyone?
Thanks in advance!
My best mate is, right now, on her way to my house (she lived about 2 hrs away, so she's on a train somewhere between the two atm).. She called me earlier, sobbing her heart out because she'd got in from work and received a letter from her parents, saying they were fed up of her behaviour and that she has a month to clear all traces of herself out of their house and then they never want to see her again!
She's not done anything too bad - the only problem is she's got herself into debt with various banks, store cards, hire purchase agreements, etc (roughly about £2-3k worth) and it's got to the point where threatening letters are being sent to their house. As she's away (originally at uni, but working in the same city as the uni since she dropped out after six months!), they've been opening her mail (against her wishes) and have, understandably, gone nuts. They aren't the most levelheaded of people anyway so have really gone off the deepend this time!
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any idea what to say to her or anything I could do to help. I printed all the debt stuff off thesite a few days ago and posted it to her, and she's going to phone the Credit Counselling Service (or something like that, I forget the name!) tomorrow and has already phoned the bank and sorted out a repayment plan.
Any ideas anyone?
Thanks in advance! 0
Comments
Then I would break the parents' legs.
I don't know what else to suggest, sorry.
i'd do the same :mad:
I'll leave it at that, but they have every right to decide who lives in their house.
Where has it been stated that they are level headed parents? Going through someone elses mail for one thing doesn't sound level headed, perhaps they were suspicious but it's still not justified.
As for opening her post, if she was living away from home and still had her parents' address as the billing address for her store cards etc (which she may not have) then I can kind of understand why they did. Obviously she ran up a lot of debt which she was not able (in the short term, anyway) to pay back...I guess letters and demands would start showing up from said shops, banks etc and I think a lot of parents would do the same. By having all these letters sent to her parents' address, it puts them under a lot of pressure and would obviously make them very worried and anxious. She wasn't at home, the bills, phonecalls and angry letters weren't a reality on her doormat every morning. I can't really express what I mean, because I'm an inarticulate fool
Harsh as it sounds, I also agree with what BumbleBee said about her parents having the right to choose who lives under their roof. It bewildering because most parents put up with anything and still have an open door policy for their children, but a small part of me does empathise with them. That said, a big part of me empathises with the girl, as I've seen it can be very easy to get every store/credit/debit card under the sun and lose control of it in a heartbeat. Especially when you first start living away from home and want it all :rolleyes:
Anyway, would be interested to know if any headway's been made. Hope she's not feeling too terrible about the whole situation, it's good she has friends like you.
Her parents aren't what you would call "level-headed".. "religious nutcases" is nearer the mark! She's shunned the religion (Jevovahs Witness - or however you spell it) too which is another reason they've done it.
She stayed here on Friday night and I read the letter. It basically says that they're fed up of her behaviour and this is a final wake up call.
I understand what you're saying, briggi, about it being their doormat and their phone that's ringing (both of which is true, sadly)..
She's gone to the house today, on her parents instruction (either that, or they were going to go to her friends flat - where she's staying near uni - and drag her back, like they have done several times in the past). The idea is they sit down and talk - not about how she's going to sort out her debts, but to talk about when and how she's going to get all her stuff out of the house. All her stuff that is except her TV, which they bought, and her laptop, which is on hire purchase in her name (tho, as you might expect, she's behind on the payments!), so they can hand that over "when the baliffs come knocking on the door"!!
Am now waiting to hear how today went... :nervous:
Sorry.