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guy is being a **** to my mate, do i stay out of it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
basically one of the people i go clubbing with is going out with one of my female mates.

got speaking to a mutual aquaintance and she said this:

"He's a dick to her, he told me she gets on his nerves and he's with her so he can have the comfort of a g/f when he wants one and then just play single when she's not around, he was trying it on with me the other nite, and was begging me to stay at his, i was like, "NO, been there done that, no THANK YOU!" he can be such a cock. Obviously dont mention anything!"

my mate seems to be getting more and more into this guy and i don't want her getting more hurt than she inevitabily is gonna be.
i like the guy as a mate but he's being a right **** at the moment for doing this to her, especially after telling her stuff like how he was worried about getting into a relationship as he's been hurt before by girls in the past
:rolleyes:

so do i say something or do i just stand back and help pick up the pieces afterwards? :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd stay out of it. you dont have any first hand knowledge, only speculation. maybe this other girl is jealous or just doesnt want them to be happy. maybe what she's saying is true. yes your friend might get hurt, but let her take the chance, she'll get over it, and if what this other girl has been saying turns out to be false and you go spouting your mouth off it'll make you look like the bad guy (especially if she then denys ever saying anything)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stay well clear.

    People always shoot the messenger.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i kinda knew staying clear was best option probably, just so shit not being able to do anything. as for the girl who told me, i know her and i know the guy, he's always been the one all over her, and he's done this sorta thing to other people before basically.

    ah well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm afaid the only way she'll learn is by making her mistakes. I have a friend like this, her blokes a complete tosspot but because he says he loves her and is extremely good at emotional blackmail she falls straight into the trap. Doesn't matter that he's tried it on with all her mates at some point, doesn't matter that he denies that he's seeing her because he's ashamed of her etc. You get the gist. I'm afraid all you can do is help collect up the pieces when he's gone. We've tried to tell our mate what her blokes like but since the sun shines out of his arse we;re always the bad guys.

    *shrugs* I'm afraid this happens. Best to stay out of it most of the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She needs to know. But if you tell her she'll only defend him, and you'll look bad in her eyes. Even though she knows he's trouble.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wobble's right,she does need to know. but you shouldn't be the person to tell her,she has to find out for herself. don't try and intrude,just be there when she needs you. and don't say 'i told you so'!
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