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Trust and privacy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,
To cut a long story short I found out a few weeks ago that my girlfriend lied to me in february when we were seeing each other, about a guy that she'd gone out with during half term while I was skiing (she said he'd asked her out and she'd declined) - almost exactly the same thing happened in early january with some other guy friend of hers. Anyway, I posted another thread about this last week:
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68541
So I know now that she lied to me twice earlier in the year, even after giving me her word that she wouldnt lie to me again after the first time.
Also, while on holiday in cornwall with my family + gf, I overheard her convo with my sister when we were in bed (I was in the next room) where she bitched about me quite a lot and then went on to tell my sister almost every detail of our 9-day-old sex life and everything about our relationship, and things i'd told her about my previous experiences etc....
These kinds of things are private and special to me between me and her, I feel quite violated how she just told my sister everything, especially considering that she doesnt even know my sister at all, its only the 2nd time they've met! I just wonder how many other people know all the intimate details of my private life...
I havent been able to speak to my gf about this, shes been away and doesnt come back for about 10 days.
I feel my trust for her has been broken a bit because of these two things. She says she loves me, and i've said it back to her but how can I love her if I don't fully trust her now? I don't know what to do
any opinions? thanks
To cut a long story short I found out a few weeks ago that my girlfriend lied to me in february when we were seeing each other, about a guy that she'd gone out with during half term while I was skiing (she said he'd asked her out and she'd declined) - almost exactly the same thing happened in early january with some other guy friend of hers. Anyway, I posted another thread about this last week:
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68541
So I know now that she lied to me twice earlier in the year, even after giving me her word that she wouldnt lie to me again after the first time.
Also, while on holiday in cornwall with my family + gf, I overheard her convo with my sister when we were in bed (I was in the next room) where she bitched about me quite a lot and then went on to tell my sister almost every detail of our 9-day-old sex life and everything about our relationship, and things i'd told her about my previous experiences etc....
These kinds of things are private and special to me between me and her, I feel quite violated how she just told my sister everything, especially considering that she doesnt even know my sister at all, its only the 2nd time they've met! I just wonder how many other people know all the intimate details of my private life...
I havent been able to speak to my gf about this, shes been away and doesnt come back for about 10 days.
I feel my trust for her has been broken a bit because of these two things. She says she loves me, and i've said it back to her but how can I love her if I don't fully trust her now? I don't know what to do
any opinions? thanks
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Comments
If she loves you as she says she should respect your privacy and not blab your life story to anybody!
It sounds like you've given her many chances not to lie but she just throws it back in your face. Sorry for being so blunt....one of habits
If the trust isnt there, then whats the point. I couldnt feel comfortable with someonw not knowing if they were going to just tell people personal things about me - especially my own family.
I agree!!!
Honestly mate...you wanna be with someone who is not gonna tell all sundry about what is going on in your life.....if you wanna tell people then fine...that's up to you....but it should never come from some one else!
although to be fair,she should not have told your sister,thats gross,theres really no need for your sister to know. i would never ever tell chris' sister about our sex life. (mind you,his sisters 14
What is a gurl?
I don't care if it is "bonding", if a lad talks about how tight his gf's pussy is, and she gets wind of it, she is livid. It is inexcusable behaviour.
To be honest, it sounds like this girl is an untrustworthy trollope who is taking you for a mug. I wouldn't trust her to tell me the time.
sorry,colloquialism.
actually,i'd be pretty damn pleased if chris told his mates i was good in bed or that i had a tight pussy.
but.yeh,you make a good point.
You wouldn't if he said his ex was better.
i'm his first
Now its one thing if a girl has a problem, and tells a really close friend something intimate about their partner - its still not nice, but I can understand it to an extent. Its another thing just blabbing about your sex life to everyone and anyone who will listen. Thats a betrayal.
If you dont want to dump her then dont. She will do it again though, so dont say you havent been warned.
Think of it, it's not uncommon.
Well, if I was bragging, I wouldn't also bitch about my boyfriend in the very same conversation.
trance_mastaz:
Like Rainbow Brite said, if you don't want to dump her, then don't, but I can't see how you can trust her after something like this. She promised that something wouldn't happen, but did it anyway, and is also talking quite freely about your relationship (probably).
Is she really worth it? Do you think things can continue to be amazing between the two of you after what has happened? Or are you perhaps holding onto the hope that she will change and stop hurting you?
My opinion would be to not bother.
And personally I wouldn't want to hear intimate details of my brothers' sex/private lives from their gfs, or anybody else for that matter.
Thank you.
I really don't think she would... shes well known in her group for being the kind caring one. Hmmmm or maybe i've just been so into her the past few months that I didn't notice
If my A level results turn out in favour of me going to uni then I really can't see this relationship surviving because to go long distance really would need trust
Thanks for the advice people, i'll be thinking about it hard the next week or so until I see her