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Mental health: My dark side
Indrid Cold
Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
Alright, keep in mind that it's taking me a lot of courage to post this. Please don't hold it against me in the future, I don't want anyone to hate me.
Mods: If you think this would be better suited for the sex forum, be my guest and move it. And sorry for not posting it there myself.
As some of you might remember, I'm almost 19 and have been forever single. At first when it started to really annoy me (I think I was 15 or 16) it was mostly the lack of a person to have feelings for that made me feel bad about it. But since then, the lack of other part (of some at least) relationships, sexual stuff, has become a lot more stronger. I used to "help myself" with porn and my imagination and other things, but lately even that barely does anything.
I'm fear that my "dark side" will take over as time passes and someday my worst fear (becoming anything that could be described as a "bad person") will come true. I fear someday I might become what people (and me) call an ass or, even worse, someone who ends up on the news and people say "how could anyone do that?". It's my worst fear and I'm afraid it's coming closer day by day. I think I'm going crazy.
What can I do to help it? It scares me more than anything has scared me.
Um, and keep in mind that I'm on vacation now so I won't be able to check often until sometime in friday...
Please don't anyone hate me. I don't like it either.
Mods: If you think this would be better suited for the sex forum, be my guest and move it. And sorry for not posting it there myself.
As some of you might remember, I'm almost 19 and have been forever single. At first when it started to really annoy me (I think I was 15 or 16) it was mostly the lack of a person to have feelings for that made me feel bad about it. But since then, the lack of other part (of some at least) relationships, sexual stuff, has become a lot more stronger. I used to "help myself" with porn and my imagination and other things, but lately even that barely does anything.
I'm fear that my "dark side" will take over as time passes and someday my worst fear (becoming anything that could be described as a "bad person") will come true. I fear someday I might become what people (and me) call an ass or, even worse, someone who ends up on the news and people say "how could anyone do that?". It's my worst fear and I'm afraid it's coming closer day by day. I think I'm going crazy.
What can I do to help it? It scares me more than anything has scared me.
Um, and keep in mind that I'm on vacation now so I won't be able to check often until sometime in friday...
Please don't anyone hate me. I don't like it either.
0
Comments
Though I would like to add that I don't think there is anything abnormal about fantasies of sexual control.
why would we hate you? we have no reason to hate you. i think that it has taken guts and courage to actually admit that you have a problem, not just to us but to yourself.
make the decision to seek help. go to your GP and find out how to go about getting referred to a counsellor.
like kermit said, i dont think that there is anything wrong with the fantasies you are having but at the same time i dont know what all is running through your mind. talk to your GP about it and take it from there.
hope this has helped a bit
I'm not going to go too much into this as I'm sure probably some of the other mods might have some better advice. But I think if you are seriously starting to worry about what you are capable of, then, I think it could help you to talk to a professional who can help you deal with these emotions.
support line link
Just want to agree with What Laura has said. Go seek the help you know you need & well done for admiting to yourself that you need a little help. Its a great start.:)
I don't think so either. It's just that I'm afraid that something might happen in my mind and I won't want them to remain fantasies.
Have you ever had someone annoy you often but you don't tell them because you don't want to hurt their feelings, but someday you just snap and tell them they're annoying -in the worst possible way? That's kind of like what I feel.
I've gotta say that it took some courage to open up so honestly like this - a very brave first step. What you need to remember is that these thoughts and worries you've been having are purely fantasy based - no crime has been committed and, as long as you choose to keep it that way, that's how it will stay. So establish some boundaries now, and be sure you don't come close to crossing them. As others have said, everyone has thoughts and feelings they don't always understand or like, but it's how we deal with them that counts. You've made the first step in dealing with your problem by coming on here.
Many users have suggested you try counselling - it may well help you to talk your feeling through with someone impartial who won't judge you. If you do decide this is your best option, here are some links to some organisations that could help you find a suitable counsellor:
British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT)
An organisation of highly qualified sex/relationships experts. Website includes details of how to find a therapist.
Tel: 020 8543 2707
http://www.basrt.org.uk/
Youth Access
A referral service for young people to find advice And counselling services.
Tel: 020 8772 9900
Best time to telephone: 9.30am - 5.00pm, Monday - Friday
Samaritans
Confidential help for anyone who is suicidal or despairing.
Telephone: 08457 909090
www.samaritans.org.uk
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
Produces a directory of counselling resources throughout the UK.
Telephone: 0870 4435252
www.bacp.co.uk <http://www.bacp.co.uk>
These boards are always here when you need to talk, and don't forget the PM button!