Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Sex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok so I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time a few weeks ago. Well i say first time, he had actually popped my cherry(!) a couple of weeks before that but i hadn't let him do anymore cos it hurt so much.

anyway this time wen we actually had sex and it was a first for both of us, we used lube and a condom. he just told me he didn't feel much except slippiness and expected me to be tighter around his penis...he came, i didn't.

i'm just really hurt by him. i don't know what else i can do to make sex better for him. i'm not loose down there, its hard to even get 2 fingers in! so i don't know what he's saying to me...i only know its hurt me...and i don't know haw to make it better.

can any of you help?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's been readong too much pornography.

    When aroused, the walls of the vagina loosen and elongate in order to accept a penis. When you are really horny you will be bigger than you are when you are not, it's what your body does. It also amkes the vagina slippery, and if you are very aroused you will be very wet, even without the KY.

    I doubt you will be a "bucket", he'll have just been reading too much porn about tight twats that takes hours to lever open.

    As for you not orgasming, it takes practise for women to orgasm well, in just about all cases. Having a poke and a wiggle isn't enough, and you might want to let your boyfriend know that.

    It all takes time, sex with a new partner is rarely good, and trebly so if you are both virgins. It will get better when you know what you like, and what he knows what he likes. But you want to be telling him how upset you were by what he said.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've done nothing wrong.

    As it was the guys 1st time then i'm sure he had all these preconceptions about what sex is supposed to be like. Then he'd be some what disappointed because sex is not all it's cracked up to be in reality.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Sex

    Patience and practice is what it takes.

    I think whn people first have sex they think its gonna be this big thing and when it actually does happen you think 'well is that it' and its kinda over.
    Once you feel totally at ease with each other then it will get better and you both should start enjoying it more.

    It just takes time, thats all.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit is very much correct. First time sex is never great, i won't get into my first experience.
    Firstly i feel you should tell your boyfriend how hurt you are, it could not of helped your confidence and sounds pretty selfish.

    Of course its going to be slippery, thats what normally happens during sex, personally i feel that is when its at its best :naughty: I think he was expecting something else out of sex and found it didnt live up to his high expectations

    But if your still determined to make it better for him maybe some sensitive condoms may enhance the experience. Your not doing anything wrong so thats my only suggestion.
    Oh and for a general better experience, maybe you can talk through how he can improve, then both of you can enjoy it.

    Good luck :naughty:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, condoms reduce the sensitivity a bit, and then there was the lube, a good idea, but mabybe too much was used, or you may not have needed it (better to be safe than sorry though). The condom & lube combined could've recuded the friction for him, and therefore made the sensation a lot less for him.
    It was still insensitive, though honest I suppose, of him to say what he did.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres not really much that you can do really sept practise. But if you are really concerned you could always try and tighten up some more by doing pc exercises.
    Also, not many girls do come from penatration. If you want to come during a session have lots of forplay and get him to go down on you.
    As for what he said, he was very honnest with you. Its better that he said it to you rather than his mates, but I can still se how what he said would sting. Next time dont use lube (or as much) just use your natueral juices. Tbh I think lube can ruin sex...but thats just me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you need to talk to him about this. He was honest with you about his feelings, so now you should be honest back and admit that you're confused and upset by what he said. I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you deliberately.
    However, good sex always starts with good communication so if you can learn to talk about what you have and haven't enjoyed right from the beginning your sex life should be rocking in no time! Just remember that you'll never enjoy everything 100% of the time - like the others said, it takes time to learn about what you both enjoy, so learn to be open with each other and the rest should follow.
    Good luck!
    :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him the truth.

    Your not wide, just his cocks too small :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LacyMay
    Tell him the truth.

    Your not wide, just his cocks too small :p


    :lol::lol:, sorry couldnt help laughing at that!
    i can understand why you're hurt, but he was only being honest. Next time just relax+try it without the lube, or maybe just abit! Everyone thinks sex is amazing, like in the films, but it very rarely is!! Its always best with somebody you love and really care about! Goof luck :thumb:
    SBG
    P.S. maybe try experimenting with different positions, to make you tighted around him?? :confused:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think ure crap in bed, he needs to get himself a new hoe
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Russell
    i think ure crap in bed, he needs to get himself a new hoe

    what was wrong with that guy?

    take no offence hun..........jsut some troll...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Russell
    i think ure crap in bed, he needs to get himself a new hoe

    get yourself a new brain
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Blah_x2
    get yourself a new brain

    ...and a new message board to go on. :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Russell
    i think ure crap in bed, he needs to get himself a new hoe

    banned.

    Gutted or hopefully you will be
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did he not consider his girth to be a factor??
Sign In or Register to comment.