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Emotional Rollercoaster
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As some of you may know last week I met up with this lad who I had met online and things went great. Since then we've met up three more times but since we went out on Monday he's been blowing hot and cold.
I don't know where I stand with him - one minute he seems really keen and he's talking about us going away for a dirty weekend etc and the next he's ignoring me. I don't know where I stand with him.
I've asked him outright if he's just in it for sex and he's assured me he isn't, and if he was he wouldn't waste his time 'cos he knows I'm not like that. However, I've suggested stuff we can fo this weekend and he isn't keen 'cos it involves actually spending time together talking rather than getting frisky.
To put things into perspective I asked if he wanted to go out tonight and he said yes, he would take me to his office and have me on his desk. I don't even think he was joking to be honest, which worries me.
We met on Faceparty and although he said he fancies me and he's not looking to date anyone else, he is always logged in and updating his profile and uploading pictures... what else can he be doing except chatting to women?!
I just want to stress that I know he isn't my boyfriend and I know I shouldn't expect to see him everyday or whatever, but all this blowing hot and cold has left me confused and agitated with him, I feel like I'm having my emotions trampled all over.
Ah, that felt good to get my feelings out actually!
I don't know where I stand with him - one minute he seems really keen and he's talking about us going away for a dirty weekend etc and the next he's ignoring me. I don't know where I stand with him.
I've asked him outright if he's just in it for sex and he's assured me he isn't, and if he was he wouldn't waste his time 'cos he knows I'm not like that. However, I've suggested stuff we can fo this weekend and he isn't keen 'cos it involves actually spending time together talking rather than getting frisky.
To put things into perspective I asked if he wanted to go out tonight and he said yes, he would take me to his office and have me on his desk. I don't even think he was joking to be honest, which worries me.
We met on Faceparty and although he said he fancies me and he's not looking to date anyone else, he is always logged in and updating his profile and uploading pictures... what else can he be doing except chatting to women?!
I just want to stress that I know he isn't my boyfriend and I know I shouldn't expect to see him everyday or whatever, but all this blowing hot and cold has left me confused and agitated with him, I feel like I'm having my emotions trampled all over.
Ah, that felt good to get my feelings out actually!
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Comments
see, you have been lucky with men thus far. i think your ex was your first boyfriend (?) and it lasted so long. for most of us we trawl through a whole load of crappy relationships before we find something as special as you two had. and you can find that with someone else, i know you can. but don't expect it to happen overnight.
this new guy might turn out to be the love of your life. he could. but he could also be giving you the run-around, and i feel like you're a lot more open to being hurt atm.
so basically what i'm saying is, don't invest too much in him too soon.
I hear you loud and clear. I know what you're saying is right, I really do, its just difficult to follow the advice!
I shouldn't get jealous, we're not going out, but I can't help but wonder how many other women he's saying the same stuff to! He's just told me he's going to bed for example but I was looking at his profile just now and he's still online and just logged into faceparty. If he doesn't want to chat he should just say!
Although like Kaffrin i'd be really cautious about throwing yourself into this one as you're still obviously hurting from your breakup with your ex. Just be really careful that you're not rebounding before you get yourself emotionally involved with this one. He does sound like he's playing a game of some sorts i must admit but there's really not much you can do apart from cool off and just let him wonder for a change what you're up to.
If he does lose interest so quickly then it will be obvious that he's only it for one thing, and that certainly isn't your insightful conversation.
Calm, relax, take it slowly. Don't always be available, it really does send bad signals- either you're desperate or up for sex and not much else.
Ah, thank you... you're always the voice of reason.
I'm also grateful to have a few male opinions!
That's always the worry when playing it cool. Although look at it like this;
Why the fuc* should you do all the worrying/chasing!! Who made him God. No one.
Moral of the above rant, if he loses interest then he obviously wasn't too bothered because if you like someone you don't just switch off and forget about them. If he does like you then he'll realize. Simple as. We're always afraid of the outcome when cooling off as deep down sometimes we already suspect the answer. Although i have been wrong and paranoid a fair few times
basically wot im saying is if he cant make an effort to see u for the fantastic girl im sure u r rather doing u on his desk, then hes not worth botherig about
Well, I think that says it all really.
*Nods* you are right