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What exactly is she thinking?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi......
Basically last week I started talking to a girl on msn, we decided to meet the next day (I found out she knew alot of people I knew etc). We talked for a while and then she asked if I'd like to follow her car home and hang around her area for a bit so I did. She's really nice, she's cute, sweet, inteligent and says alot of relevant stuff. She's the sort of girl I could listen to for hours and not get bored.
Now we've been txting eachother alot, and on 3 occaisons (today being the third, possibly fourth) she's asked to meet up but canceled at the last minute with different excuses. A couple of them being understandable as she's been upset lately getting over her old bf, she called me up a few days ago whilst in school and it sounded like she was nearly in tears but I managed to calm her down (This was an occaison where she decided not to meet me again after all, I was just outside the school and she changed her mind).
Now today she did it again, said come down at 5, so I txt saying ok I'll txt you when im there..... I dropped my brother off at his mates then get a txt saying she cant meet.... what a suprise.
Its really starting to get to me and I'm thinking of moving on, but I really feel like she's worth waiting for... but I'm not sure she's interested anymore.
I just dont get it, HELP! :rolleyes:
Basically last week I started talking to a girl on msn, we decided to meet the next day (I found out she knew alot of people I knew etc). We talked for a while and then she asked if I'd like to follow her car home and hang around her area for a bit so I did. She's really nice, she's cute, sweet, inteligent and says alot of relevant stuff. She's the sort of girl I could listen to for hours and not get bored.
Now we've been txting eachother alot, and on 3 occaisons (today being the third, possibly fourth) she's asked to meet up but canceled at the last minute with different excuses. A couple of them being understandable as she's been upset lately getting over her old bf, she called me up a few days ago whilst in school and it sounded like she was nearly in tears but I managed to calm her down (This was an occaison where she decided not to meet me again after all, I was just outside the school and she changed her mind).
Now today she did it again, said come down at 5, so I txt saying ok I'll txt you when im there..... I dropped my brother off at his mates then get a txt saying she cant meet.... what a suprise.
Its really starting to get to me and I'm thinking of moving on, but I really feel like she's worth waiting for... but I'm not sure she's interested anymore.
I just dont get it, HELP! :rolleyes:
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Comments
:yes: patience is a virtue!
If she is the one inviting you to go out with her on the night and then cancelling, then it is likely that her reasons are genuine. I can't imagine why any girl would constantly try and lead someone on if they didn't like them. If it's you who is pushing or suggesting that you go out on a night, maybe it's not what she wants and she's too scared to say.
Just out of curiousity, how old is she and how old are you?
If there is a reasonable age gap it's possible that the idea of her friends knowing would embarass her. This might sound surprising, as most school-girls feel that they are entitled to a guy at least 2 year older than them, however it doesn't always work that way.
It's difficult to help you well without knowing the situation fully. It sounds like you think a lot of her. Don't let this drive you into an obsession where you keep pestering her to see you. Don't sound like you're dying to see her either, it can only do disaster if she thinks you're her little puppy; but at the same time don't give the impression that you couldn't give a wank if you saw her or not.
Appreciate that she has just broke up with her boyfriend. When I was going through a period of feeling shitty, I wanted to talk and see people but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It's not very often people feel that bad, but don't rule out the idea completely and have a good think about how she might be feeling.
I'd also suggest asking her. MSN is good. It means there's less chance of either of you getting embarassed. If she mentions that you should meet, maybe hint that you've already tried that and she keeps fucking you off at the last minute. Don't make accusations. If it was me, I'd just ask out of curiousity why she cancelled - it's not as if you don't deserve an explanation.
Let me know how that goes.
Tom
Were both 17, She's in year 12 Im in year 13 but just finished college. I really do appreciate that she's broken up with her boyfriend and really just want to know whether she's going to feel the same after she's sorted herself out (i.e. she could be having confused feelings?).
I think I'm just going to try and forget her until she has sorted herself out (I'm sure she'll let me know one way or another). But also I may just say look, I really am interested in you and im willing to wait if anythings going to come of this.... would that be a good idea?
cheers
People always want to know how the members of the opposite sex are feeling because they feel that they can help. More often than not they probably can, but getting the information in the first place can be hard and make you look like an idiot.
I'll give you the same advice I give everyone, think about everything you do. Really think about it. Don't let your mood decide things for you. Consider the effects of whatever you do.
Hope it all goes well.
Tom.
If i were you id keep chattin 2 her, dont lose contact or owt, but maybe 4get about meeting for a while. Tell her that you dont wana rush her into anything+you're getting the impression she isn't ready as she keeps cancelling. she'll come round in her own time :thumb: Sounds to me like she's being honest with u bout being upset over her ex, she mustn't wana lead u on
Don't loose contact but then again don't purposely pursue a relationship, give her time and hopefully she'll come round.
I'm just gunna play it cool for now then.... I'll speak to her but I'm not gunna mention meeting, I'll tell her to wait until she's completely sure and that I dont want to rush her into anything. But other things that puzzle me about the situation is just small things like the fact she'll offer to go on webcam (which is torture for me as she looks so nice
Thanks for all your advice so far
UPDATE: She says its ok and she's not doing anything... she wants to meet outside her school at 2:15.. Wonder how far I'll get this time before I have to turn back :rolleyes:
She has a free house on Friday and want's me to go round and drink (Which is fine by me, makes me more confident etc) BUT im driving
And don't drink too much- bad for the libido:p
Seriously? :eek2:
Yeh, you're still in control of a vehicle - well, maybe not in control in this case.
I'd get a taxi, don't risk driving after a few drinks it's not worth it. Even if you think you'll only have 1 or 2, you might end up having more and when it does get to the time when you have to drive home, your confidence levels would be increased and you'd think nah, I'm okay to drive, I've only had a few.
Glad she's finally turned up to meet you, she's lucky you hung around after she stood you up so many times!
Good luck.