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A retrospective: Chemical days are ending soon.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
All right, I've been a recreational user for about 5 years now. It's been a fun and interesting run. I believe I'm definitely rounding out and finishing up, having gained all i can from the stuff I've done.. As one might notice "diminishing returns" as the night rolls into 6, 7, or 8am, I am starting to notice diminishing returns as the weeks and months go by... ehh.. I think you get to the point where you could continue supplementing your life with chemicals and whatever, or you can just take what you know and move forward... so, really, from a metaphorical point of view, it's about 7am in the morning and i'm feeling like it might be time to call it a night.

I'm not turning into a straight-edge saint or anything like that. A life completely without chemicals would probably be pretty drab. Sure, i'll partake in some THC on occasion, and once in a blue moon may end up in a situation where i'll partake in a bit more.. I'd rather it not be "part" of my life anymore. It consumes a lot of my thought during my waking hours, and I feel those are cycles that could be channeled into something more effective. Aside from all that, I'm looking forward to improving upon my diminishing short-term memory.

I have new questions about the short and long-term effects of these chemicals. In many ways, there are very uncertain results that can be drawn from the use of certain drugs, because there are so many differentiating factors (purity, dosage, mental-state of the person taking them, combinations, and a million other variants). I can say that 2 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and have had periods of severe depression. I can also say my memory has been not as sharp as it once was. But then these can be attributed to stress, unhappiness with my current situation (job, etc).. It is impossible at this point to feel what it might be like had I never started taking chemicals. It's a null point, besides... nothing can be done at this point. I do know that, if usage is ceased, minor damage caused to the brain will be able to heal by itself.. to a point.. if continued, you can pass a point of no return (ie. permanent brain damage).

moderation is the key. i've always practiced moderation, since i started, but my moderate usage has been very consistent (though i've had nights that contradict this). and now i believe i have reached a point in my life (i'm 25 now) to expand the mind in other ways. i have much to learn about the world.. Many things I'd like to learn how to do, or try to do. Things that are impossible to do if I'm spending my weekends recovering :)

I'm not knocking chemicals. I believe, if one is of sound mind and body, some experimentation with the right stuff can be quite beneficial in learning about yourself and the world around you. I'm just saying I've learned these things and, at this point, continued usage will only be detrimental to my health :)

Anyway, this was my retrospective.
dep

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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Thanks Dep, that was well reasoned and one of the most sensible things I have heard in a long time. Good luck with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fair enough, so many people do this, they have an enjoyable period of intake and sometimes over intake, then other things come along and they find that getting wreaked isnt their first choice anymore.

    And as with any age at all if you have concerns over your mental health then you really shouldnt be using.

    I have a friend who has said just what you just said quite a few times. He seems to have the idea that it is either all or nothing with drug use, I guess he doesnt trust himself to do it every now and then. Also there is the subconsious idea that drug use is wrong and automaticly detrimental to health and that you cant 'grow up' while still using them.

    Also there is the point that we bandy about the term 'drug use' but what does it really mean, is it the occasional spliff, having a few mushies on a saturday afternoon, a few pills at a party, a heavy speed binge at a club...use patterns are as vaired as the drugs themselves.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    Fair enough, so many people do this, they have an enjoyable period of intake and sometimes over intake, then other things come along and they find that getting wreaked isnt their first choice anymore.

    And as with any age at all if you have concerns over your mental health then you really shouldnt be using.

    I have a friend who has said just what you just said quite a few times. He seems to have the idea that it is either all or nothing with drug use, I guess he doesnt trust himself to do it every now and then. Also there is the subconsious idea that drug use is wrong and automaticly detrimental to health and that you cant 'grow up' while still using them.

    Also there is the point that we bandy about the term 'drug use' but what does it really mean, is it the occasional spliff, having a few mushies on a saturday afternoon, a few pills at a party, a heavy speed binge at a club...use patterns are as vaired as the drugs themselves.

    Oh yes, certainly. It's all very subjective. Intake, frequency, all changes from person to person. And I completely agree with what you say about mental blockages concerning usage. I know a lot of people deal with a great level of guilt surrounding usage.. That one can't grow WITH the use.. That it sortof freezes them in time.. Something done before they "grow up." I don't believe that to be true. In my mind, anyway, it has run parrallel to my personal "growth." a part of the journey, as it were.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Certainly, I've learnt alot about myself and my mates while under the influence. Yet at the same time since I have virtually stopped using anything (biftas and v.v.v.v.v.occasional pills) I have got a better hold of my head, how I feel about things.

    But then, is that just growing older, its always difficult to seperate the two. As you grow older its only natural that you know yourself and your own views better.
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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Or so you would like to think, anyway....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    True enough. That's an optimistic statement, indeed. For me, as I age, I am only enountering an increasing number of questions concerning who i am, where i am, why i am, etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a better message than most kids get in school im afraid:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im in the process of trying to get myself completely clean and even though i know deep down its the right thing to do why is it so fucking hard!

    It feels like i been in a serious relationship for years and now were going our seperate ways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ha tell me about it, luckily i stuck pretty much to cannabis as far as frequent drug use goes so it could be worse, and i've managed to get through college and university, just about.......

    in the end it just wasnt fun anymore, started getting panic attacks and i swear that shit makes you go crazy if you smoke enough of it lol......so i 'cut down' several times in the past year, it just doesnt work with me its all or nothing, so i quit as of 3 weeks ago, just to regain some clarity and focus in life........and oh boy it feels like waking up from a 4 year coma.....obviously i have enjoyed the drugs and the experiences but i think in a way it inhibited my personal growth in other areas, which is quite obvious when you devote so much time to one activity.......and once you find that clarity, you might like me realise that you never really want to go back to the way it was.......

    this presents a whole bunch of problems, the main one being leaving your mates behind, i feel i would be dragged in too easily if i stayed in the same environment.......it is hard to say goodbye to a way of life and move on, but that is life......and i feel better for it..........thats not to say ill never dibble and dabble here and there, but nothing like the daily mind-blowing intake of marijuana.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    their seems to be quite a few of us in the same boat about giving up i`ve noticed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the subject of giving up whats happened to lil_minx?

    She gave up weed i think and now shes disappeared! :eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Digital-Emotion
    On the subject of giving up whats happened to lil_minx?

    She gave up weed i think and now shes disappeared! :eek:
    gone in a puff of smoke!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyJade
    Or so you would like to think, anyway....

    What do you mean?

    I honestly do think that my past drug use has been very helpful to me, I've learnt things, been places, met people, had experiences that I would not have been able to have otherwise.

    Its not a view said very often, but, well, I'm entirely glad I did it, I have no problems with any of the use I did.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    unfortunately i have to give up my drug intake as well, well cut down quite alot. cannabis juss doesnt mellow me out now juss keeps me quiet but thinkin of everything and it gets borin after a while. alcohol is fine but abit too depressing for me atm so stick to once twice a week for that. but as for pills my fave drug ive stopped takin them for nearly 4 weeks now, another good 3/4 months of not taking them will sort me head out after i fucked it up this year thru takin quite abit of them. guess i juss have to keep workin out, going to sports centre more often to play football and to meet people. also might go out drinkin down the town more often not sure. its not gonnabe that hard its juss the boredom and the fact your pals are still doing it makes it hard. but its stay with them and keep using drugs (alcohol) or stay clean, time to stay clean i think. well take care im off to listen to sum mixing my mate did on a tape.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you read this LadyJade I would like you to clarify what you meant. Ta.
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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Bong, I have to admit I was being sarcastic, in response to this comment -
    As you grow older its only natural that you know yourself and your own views better.

    No point in being sarky if you aren't clear about it though, that will learn me. Promise I won't do it again *hangs head in shame*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, fair enough, I assumed you were only joking.

    I was being a bit 'Days of Our Lives' wasnt I, although probably none of you will know what Days of Our Lives is. Oh well, and you say you have lived!

    Although you havent been very nice to me today, those comments about my age and looks cut deep you know.
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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    You are the one who said
    you might get as old and winkled as me. I know all my years havent been kind to my face!
    .

    Not me. No no. :no:

    And yes you were being very Days, you drama queen. Trying to keep me in a state of constant anxiety, if I have a board melt down it will be all your fault you know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You said I had a "lived in" face, I wouldn't make public comments about your face.
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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    I said no such thing! I didn't refer to your face specifically.

    and I told you, never mention the incident!!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Alright then, I'm just sensitive about it thats all, some people say I look like a dodgy criminal thats all.

    And I didnt mention the incident, there never was one....
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    JadedJaded Posts: 2,682 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    Alright then, I'm just sensitive about it thats all, some people say I look like a dodgy criminal thats all.

    No, whatever would make them say that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm. I'm a bit surprised at how many posted under the thread to say the same thing.. That they, too, felt it was time to cut back the intake. I think in years past, especially during this time of the year, it would be the opposite for me, since it is now getting warm outside and people are more often than not going to be out looking for trouble on the weekend. Yes, I don't deny that i'll miss those days. I do have many friends who i will probably lose touch with.. i still think it might be fun to go to a couple house parties and not do any chemicals.. would be nice to see things from a different angle for a change.

    oh well.. looking forward to gaining some perspective :)

    dep
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyJade
    No, whatever would make them say that?

    Its the sloping forhead and the eyes being so close together, have you studied Craniology recently. I have the head of a stage coach driver, and given that we dont have them anymore I look out of place.

    I'm quite surprised at the number of people who are stopping because they have had real problems. Most people I know stop either because of lack of funds or because they just dont really fancy it anymore.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At this moment in my life i don't really have a plan to stop using drugs or anything, i've had no regrets about any of my use in the past and we'll just see how it goes from here on.
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