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First time?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I have a pretty low opinion of myself and stuff, and am still only 15 and I know I'm not ready for sex yet and don't even have a boyfriend currently, but I have this image of me just going all needy and having sex with aload of guys to make me feel wanted or something..
I sound really stupid, sorry.
It's just someone mentioned the sex trade/topless bars etc and I could see myself doing that, just because I have this bad memory switching off thing and I'd see it as being easy money.
And for my first time, do I wait for someone I love, or have fun at a festival or something? Because I want to have sex at Reading fest (I will be 16 by then) (and I dont want to have sex *then*, like a goal date, but i dont want to be undecided about if i want to or not) but it would be my first time and I dont want to regret it or wish I'd waited, and I was brought up Catholic which is confusing me even more..I dont want to wait that long!!
Ick. I have a feeling I'm not making sense. sorry.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I realise it sounded stupid saying I want to have sex at Reading festival, but it was more of an example and I seem to be having a constant panic thing tonight because my first exam is tomorrow..so nothing I'm typing will be making sense.. but I don't know.. I actually can see me forgetting the details or about sex the next day, because my mind blocks things out, and I just have this feeling going through my mind saying "If it's bad then it'll be blocked out like everything else, and if it's good then good.. something good happened in your life and you were wanted" and I'd ignore the fact it was superficial, and the guy wouldn't have cared, and just go on being liked even if it was only for a bit..
    Is that stupid? That sounds really stupid and needy.
    I guess I just need somewhere to get out my feelings on this, because it'd be embarrassing saying something as stupid as "I am considering having sex with people I dont love just to feel wanted" to someone in person..
    I feel wanted/liked after pulling random guys now, which is stupid but not as stupid as I would be to then sleep with them I guess..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    burningwings if you want to have sex then go out and have sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But I don't.
    I'm not ready now.
    I'm just saying that when I am, is it better to wait for someone you love, or does it matter if you have sex just to feel wanted, or will that make you hate yourself more in the long run?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you probably know the answer to that question yourself, but like all teenagers (I'm not being patronising, I'm still only 18), you think about sex a lot and worry about it, and want to get your first time 'over with' because you're nervous about it. But really, it's not worth the fuss. One day you'll be with some guy, you'll be happy and comfortable with him, you'll trust him, you'll feel ready, and it'll all just feel right. And you won't regret it. As long as you don't rush into it! Trust me :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The thing about sex is that it's not the end of the world wether you've had it or not.

    Personally, I think you're better off waiting. It doesn't guarantee that your first time will be any good, but it would probably make it more likely to be something you remember with a smile rather than "omg I can't believe I did *that*".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should wait, even if you think you can just forget about it if it was bad, losing your virginity is something you can only ever do once, so wait until you're ready. And as for the being wanted business, you're much more likely to fee wanted for longer if you wait for someone you can be friends with and care about, as they are much more likely to make you feel good for more than one night... seriously, it does nothing for the self esteem to sleep with someone once, only for them never to see you again. You're only 15, plenty of time :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If there is doubt in your mind, don't. Simple.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's your virginity, you decide what you want to do with it. Not us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys.
    And I know it's my virginity and I'm not going to do what a bunch of people I asked online about it said.. BUT don't you think it's better to have a whole bunch of opinions rather than just the one, which may be wrong and so affect the rest of my life in a negative way?
    I'm very strong minded so will only do what I think is right, but I'd like to know the whole picture first
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well like someone else said, if you're not sure then you probably shouldn't do it. you don't have to do it for the sake of it, just to make yourself feel wanted.
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