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last night...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
last night i ODed on painkilliers and cider, i'm still here unfortunatly, i fell asleep and woke up with a horrible stomach ache, and headache. i'm ok now, but life on the edge is not how i want to live. many people have told me that they care, or they love me, only to hurt me by pushing me away. i now have no material friends i.e. not online friends. and i hate it.......

my big bro is over with us, and he keeps saying how proud of me he is, and stuff, and i don't know what to do, because if he knew the whole story, he wouldn't be proud of me one bit. i'm not.

i'm not really asking for advice, i just needed to get it out. i don't know what i can do now.

life hurts me so much......though dieing hurts as much, self harm turns me into a zombie.....music is the only thing that keeps me in some kind of reality, otherwise i don't live in the world you know, somewhere else filled with hurt and hate........

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am so sorry. I'm so glad you're ok. I don't know what else to say but please look after yourself. There are so many people here who do care about you and are concerned for you. I hope things get better for you soon Luby.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please go and get yourself checked out. Your brother will be even more proud of you if you ask for the help you need. Honest. Please tell someone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Od'n hurts i hope you feel ok.Think about what it would do to your brother if you succeeded.Think how guilty he would feel.talk to him as much as you can. Seriously hope you're ok:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nerofene or menamfic acid

    not sure which
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    get to hospital asap!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK firstly - Yeah, go to hospital.

    Secondly, read over these links :

    Feeling Suicidal

    Helplines

    Ok you really need to talk to someone about this. I don't want to go on as I know you're head is probably in the shed right now.. but suicide helps no-one.

    My little sister tried to kill herself last year with an OD, actually it was probably more like a cry for attention but fuckme it was horrible. It was like the end of my world..

    Think of the people who love you please, and the people who you love... and if you ever need to chat them come bend my ear or someone elses on here..

    Keep ya chin up

    Phil x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for posting those links, Cheeseontoast.

    Luby - have you spoken to anyone about the fact that you overdosed? You may be surprised at how much support your family offer you. Keping these feelings to yourself will just make them worse in the long run and although it is really hard to open up, it will be a massive weight off of your shoulders.

    The others are right - medically, you should get your body checked out - you have given it a massive shock by overdosing. If you can get to a GP or hospital they should also be able to help you with your depression problems. As I've said before, YOU'VE got to help yourself on this one. I understand how tough it is to get help, but you say that you don't want to live life on the edge - the only way to stop living on the edge is to help yourself.

    You know what you've got to do - open up. Talk to those around you. You are lucky enough to have family that care about you so trust them and let them help you.

    Hannah xx
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