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Thinking about Schtuph

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Firstly i hope this is in the right forum so i don't get flamed. Basically i've been thinking a lot recently about my relationship with my parents and why its so bad. Ive been thinkin that maybe i should be honest with them. Just totally come clean and tell them and the drink, the drug problems, the eating problems, the self harm, the attempted suicide, why i'm failing at school etc etc everything thats making the gap between us bigger. Does anyone have experience of this, how did it go, what did you?
Oh and is this a bad idea?
Kirsty x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely its a good idea. You're parents may be a little angry. But give them time to calm down and if they are reasonable they should try and sort out these problems with you.

    Good luck xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have been in this situation and am still in it............i would ask to sit them down and just say i have some things to clear up and then just say one thing at a time letting them reply after each one......they will be shocked about the attempted suicide and possibly put you into councilling as my parents have done. It will help don't worry some tears might be exchanged but that is only the minor things to worry about. believe it or not they have been there and done that aswell......
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've told my mum most things I've done, not all at once, but through the years, and looking back it worked out for the best.

    The first major thing I told her was about 4 years ago when I told her I was smoking crack, this admission was greeted with tears and shock but when she did come around she helped me more than I could ever imagine. She had been there herself, not with the same choice of drug but she knew about the despair of dependecy and withdrawl from her own past experiences. If I hadn't told her about it and all the other drugs I was using at the time I wouldn't have got through it, I wouldn't have had a chance.

    Once I'd shared this with her it strengthened our relationship and I went to her whenever I needed advice, no matter how serious the problem or situation (and there were some crazy points in my life) and I knew she'd help and advise me through it without getting angry or judgemental.

    Im waffling here but what I'm trying to say is share your problems with your parents, maybe not all of them at once, they might find that a bit overwhelming, but thats a choice for you to make.

    Like ice-baby said they have been there before and probably done or experienced the problems you are going through. And I'm certain that they'd much rather you go to them for help than try and cope with it all yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats the mistake i made.............i tried to hide all my feelings and problems and it just ended up mucking me up in the head even more so unless you want to end up like me (which i don't want that to happen to you) i would share things with them............in the long run it will be best
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your replies. it's something i'm going to think about a lot befre actually doing it. And the main problem is that my parents aren't very reasonable. But things have really gone too far. Hmmm.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If your parents are anti drugs i wouldnt tell them about the drugs for the simple reason they wont understand and may judge you really harshly which could make you end up feeling worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh they are very anti-drugs. i tried to approach the subject before and they went mental. and i wasnt even suggesting i did them :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl_gunner
    Yeh they are very anti-drugs. i tried to approach the subject before and they went mental. and i wasnt even suggesting i did them :rolleyes:

    Yeah keep the drugs out of it, tell them everything else if you want.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the one hand, coming clean to your parents could be a good idea, they may be understanding and able to help, and it may turn out positively as it did for dave_oliver...
    however, it may backfire, they night not understand. i know that alot of parents just dont have any idea of what younger people get up to now compared to when they were young... (eg. my parents for a start!!)
    have you tried proffesional help at all? a good coucellor may be able to help you, and offer you advice on how to manage your parents too:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe start by telling them about how you feel first, rather than what you do, maybe getting them sympathetic to the mess you're in would help them manage with the more shocking, more contravercial things, and yeah, I'd say tell them one thing at a time, let them have 10minutes to get used to one thing before giving them another.
    Good luck!
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