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My 12yo sister and boys
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Im having some difficulties controlling my sisters out of control social life and would be appreciative of any suggestions on this matter
Background:
Im 22, oldest brother of 4, from a single parented family. Next oldest after me is my brother of 16. Ive always been responsible and acted like the man of the house since i can remember due to no father being in contact.
She is 12, looks her age not any older, still a child! Very feisty though and the type who probably thinks shes popular at school and likes to bully other kids, treats my mum with disrespect at times, especially comapred to what i did at that age.
Problem:
I thnk she is becoming more disrupted by boys and her social life.
Up until about 3-4 months ago i never had a problem with my sister and never wanted to interfere with her social life, mainly because it was just harmless 12 year old stuff i.e. girly mates, games etc.
Well now its 16 year old boys turning up at my doorstep, calling at night and every 10 minutes it seems even when i ask them not to. Im even more pissed off at the fact that one of these boys is taller and wider than me FFS. Like i said earlier she still looks 12 and hasnt developed into a young lady as such. I cant believe that these boys can see anything else in her than a child. At 16 i would have been beaten up by my own mates if i even admitted fancying anyone younger than 14.
In my efforts to protect her i kinda looked at her text messages (i know slate me all u want) to my annoyance these boys are texting there undying love for her and she is doing the same. I mean these texts are really serious sounding. I know some of you might think that this is all innocent but i dont want my sister to fuck up her school grades and/or end up down the single teen mother living in bedsit road.
Well anyway im kinda struggling as to what tactic to try and use:-
1. Ask her nicely to stop seeing these boys and explain to her that she could face being hurt by these boys
2. Ban her from phone, confiscate mobile, ground her if shes caught talking to these boys (possibly if she doesnt listen to no 1)
3. Buy a knuckle duster and beat the fuck out these boys so that no girl will ever talk to them again (my personal choice) slight repruccusions from family, police, etc.
4. find out there home phone numbers and ask there mothers if they would nicely control there peodophile sons
Background:
Im 22, oldest brother of 4, from a single parented family. Next oldest after me is my brother of 16. Ive always been responsible and acted like the man of the house since i can remember due to no father being in contact.
She is 12, looks her age not any older, still a child! Very feisty though and the type who probably thinks shes popular at school and likes to bully other kids, treats my mum with disrespect at times, especially comapred to what i did at that age.
Problem:
I thnk she is becoming more disrupted by boys and her social life.
Up until about 3-4 months ago i never had a problem with my sister and never wanted to interfere with her social life, mainly because it was just harmless 12 year old stuff i.e. girly mates, games etc.
Well now its 16 year old boys turning up at my doorstep, calling at night and every 10 minutes it seems even when i ask them not to. Im even more pissed off at the fact that one of these boys is taller and wider than me FFS. Like i said earlier she still looks 12 and hasnt developed into a young lady as such. I cant believe that these boys can see anything else in her than a child. At 16 i would have been beaten up by my own mates if i even admitted fancying anyone younger than 14.
In my efforts to protect her i kinda looked at her text messages (i know slate me all u want) to my annoyance these boys are texting there undying love for her and she is doing the same. I mean these texts are really serious sounding. I know some of you might think that this is all innocent but i dont want my sister to fuck up her school grades and/or end up down the single teen mother living in bedsit road.
Well anyway im kinda struggling as to what tactic to try and use:-
1. Ask her nicely to stop seeing these boys and explain to her that she could face being hurt by these boys
2. Ban her from phone, confiscate mobile, ground her if shes caught talking to these boys (possibly if she doesnt listen to no 1)
3. Buy a knuckle duster and beat the fuck out these boys so that no girl will ever talk to them again (my personal choice) slight repruccusions from family, police, etc.
4. find out there home phone numbers and ask there mothers if they would nicely control there peodophile sons
0
Comments
their is only 2 methods you can take to,
one of them is stopping her from seing them , if you do this, it just powers her in her own mind that she will see them more because she knows it annoys you.
two, take it a step furtur do the nice asking her to steer clear or,
get one of her own mates same age etc to get really friendly and try and act as a big bro kinda to protect her and just to be with her at most times, this usually works, i have a couple of younger friends not too young, but i am really good mates with them, if they ask me for advice they follow it, and if i fel they need advice, they listen and most of the time follow it, unless thy feel they have a better thing to do.
try it, it might work
If that fails, then I personally would love to smack one, but instead have a friendly chat to with one of the lads in question and tell him to stop contacting her... maybe even speak to their mothers. But then your sister would find and then she would be angry at you for getting involed with her social life. You might want to set a time for her to come in, say by 7:30, someone of that age doesn't need to be out later than that... specially on school nights.
Any way, I would set a time for her to come in and speak to the lads motheres if I were in your shoes.
So you have to call upon the old reverse psychology. Drop into conversation (without getting angry, stay calm and logical sounding) that when you was 16, the boys that went after 12 year old girls were the ones that were struggling to pull girls of their own age as they are *insert insult*. Don't seem angry though - And if she gets angry just say "I'm only saying!".
i agr ee with sir cum on this one i think that even having a convo with someone else that she can overhear
You may also want to ask these guys if they actually know your sister is 12, I remember when I was around that age myself and my friends all lied about our age at some point or another and she may well have told them shes 13-14 but just looks younger. Just ask the guys if they really think its acceptable for them to be seeing a 12 year old girl.
Of course it may be the case that she does have serious feelings for one of these guys and they may have serious feelings for her but I really don't think that at 12 she wants to be getting involved in any kind of sexual relationship, especially with a 16 year old she doesn't even know that well.
But yeah I think the main thing you can do is just sit her down and have a chat about it, it may be difficult because some children at that age think they know it all but its important I think that you at least attempt this approach before you do anything else.
Good luck.
Heh, she thinks she's hard.
Give her a slap to knock her down a peg or two.
Seriously though just have a talk with her. Saying that she doesnt want to get involved with people like these boys etc. And if it doesnt work then tell these lads to bugger off!