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Talking on the phone!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How the hell do you do it!.
I can talk to girls fine on msn and txting etc but on the phone I just stutter n make a dick outta myself!:(
Even talking to my relatives on the phone I try and get off as fast as I can:eek2:
Maybe its because I can't start off conversations well or something:( has anyone got any tips?
Thanks
I can talk to girls fine on msn and txting etc but on the phone I just stutter n make a dick outta myself!:(
Even talking to my relatives on the phone I try and get off as fast as I can:eek2:
Maybe its because I can't start off conversations well or something:( has anyone got any tips?
Thanks
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Yeah, I think it's because on the phone you have to think what to say right on the spot but on msn you can think and delete what you're about to say. I get it too, I just talk crap really. I guess it's just confidence, if you get nervous you'll just babble and make it worse. You should get better, but people don't have as much practice with talking these days.
Surely you have to do that in real life conversations too though??
Its so true that the art of conversation is dying out...all this txting and typing is bad for us i reckon. In the future, noone will know how to fucking talk to one another!! Facial expressions are so important in speech too, imo, and they are just lost over the phone (obviously). Txting is worse because expression AND tone are lost...rarr! Anyways...maybe you could try a few things:
1) kinda imagine the person you are talking to is just someone on msn...nothing to worry about. Breathe and think about what you're going to say before you say it
2) remember that if anyone gets pissed/doesnt want to know just cos you stumble over a few words then they are not worth knowing anyway
3) when you phone, know what you are phoning for and kinda plan what you are going to say in advance. Get whatever it is said, then you can relax and chat normally
I dunno if that helps, just some suggestions
good luck!
Anyway, I used to kinda write a 'script' sometimes which helped. Or make a kinda mental list of the things that I wanted to talk about. I don't like phoning people just for a chat though :-/ unless it's my best mate, because he just rambles on lol.
but with people that I'm together with often but don't really know (like other students, sportmates, etc.) I never know what to say. so there's always those "awkward (sp?) silences" if the other person isn't a chatterbox him/herself.
I'd find it it interesting what people who don't have this "problem" actually do say. I know some guys that can just go to a random person and establish a conversation that could last for hours. do they just sense what's good to talk about with those random people or are there some general subjects (apart from the weather of course) for starting a conversation/getting to know people quickly?
of course a major factor could be self-confidence but I think I just lack conversation-topics, or not?
This should never be true about any of your conversations. There is no requirement to engage in banter at light speed. Indeed, it is often better to actually think about what is to be said before saying it.
You shouldn't feel pressured to fill silence on the phone, firstly because it is practically impossible and secondly because people need space to think and don't want a person wittering constantly at them.
wen people ring me i jus ignore the call a lot of the time...i just dnt know why....
wen i did work experience, the whole month i refused to answer the fone...ARGH!
OMG i thought i was the only one in the world that had problems with phones.
I think its easier to speak to somebody face to face because theres body language and facial expressions to go with the conversation, and if there are any silent moments it doesnt seem so bad because you put on a thinking face or something similar
When your on the phone if there are any silent moments it just becomes really akward and makes out like you dont really have anything to say to them, which isnt always true because half the time i forget what im actually ringing up for.
Funny thing is if the person on the other end keeps on chattin i find it easy to make conversation, however if the person on the other end is like my ex then the conversation is always dry and quick
oh yeh edited to say if your worried about starting a convo on the phone, write down a list of subjects that you want to speak to that person about. This way you've pretty much got something to talk about throughout the call.
Nomi
XxxXxxX
(sorry, can't be bothered with colours today)
then i worked for a summer in a call centre, and now i'm not too bad.
i'm fine, oddly, with people i don't know. i think it's because if i make a tit of myself they don't know me and can't keep reminding me of it every time they see me. but when i ring people i know fairly well, i still worry that i'll say something stupid and never be allowed to forget it.
oh
i was kinda like that when i was nine.
the boatman doesn't bother me on the phone anymore.
Thanks all sorry to bump a old topic :cool:
totally get what you mean. i have a really good msn relationship with this girl but i never really know what to say to her when i see her. really annoying. ringing people up is always nervy for me. i dunno why cos usually when you speak to somebody they are never annoyed to receive your call. just requires a lot more effort to call someone and they know it. and i just can never think what to say and it gets embarrassing:( so nervewracking dialling the number as well especially if you don't usually ring them.
One thing I will say though is, it's all well and good keeping in touch via text or messenger etc with folk. But it's no where near as personal. You don't find out as much. Conversations lose half their meaning and it doesn't make people fele as special.
I used to tet loads. 500 free texts a month and I sent more then that regularyly. think 1500 was about the most in a month I've ever sent. These days I'm lucky to send 200 in a month because I realised just how unpersonal they were and more often than not a text conversation with my b/f would end up in me being really depressed and feeling uncared for because of lengths of time it takes him to reply, 1 word replies and so on.
A 5 min phone call says 10 times as much as 20 texts and hearing his voice makes me feel better. Although since I realised this point and started not texting I seem to never speak to him since he hardly ever answers his phone. Ah well.