If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Diaries
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
So - who keeps a diary?
I've kept one since 1983 or there abouts!
Just dipped into my 'diary box'
here's what I came up with
March 26 1997 - 'I keep thinking and thinking about Mark and me. Are we having any fun? Not really I don't think. We just sit on the sofa and vegatate. Is Mark thinking the same? Do I really love him as much as I say? I do love him, and don't want to be without his love and friendship but has it gone past sexual attraction now? Has the really good sex gone?' (THIS IS THE SAME MAN I AM WITH NOW!!)
24th March 1990 - 'I just met a friend of Mike Tiritias (Mike the geek) who is gay.
Now its 7.55 am and I'm sober and I can explain the above lastnight at the bop (Manchester Poly Bop) I met Ranbir - he was a really good laugh and says he is coming round on Tuesday to take me to a club. Mr blusher brush wasn't at the Bop. I'm so stupid, I shouldn't get so worked up. Even now I can't stop thinking abou him. I want a friend so much, not a boyfriend, but a friend who is into the same things. How many times have I said that?'
March 29th 1988
Hello
It's 12.58 am. I've just come back from the Grand Hotel in Cardiff where I went to and 18th Birthday party. I was meant to leave at one but Catrina had her purse stolen and was really upset. We didn't have enough money for a taxi so I had to phone mum. Catrinas driving licence was in her purse. matthew was there I invited him to my party (Matthew turned out to be the only gay boy in the village)
24th March 1994
Hello - I feel like moving again Katy (my sister) and her boyfriend Dave were having noisy sex upstairs at 1.15 am and I banged on the wall to shut them up. martin (my housemate) said they're young and having fun, but, fuck, I don't want to be woken up at 1am by thet kind of horrible noise. Went to Metros on saturday and the lead singer of the manic Street Preachers was there '
March 29th 1992...Well...went to the Square club, Michael ws ther but baisically it was a kind of 'who really cares and does it bother me' kind of situaton because I didn't think he was going to be there. The cute bloke from Spillers records was there!
Later - I don't know what is wrong with me. I've just let everything get on top of me. About 1 and a half hours ago I got totally stressed out and started crying. I had to get out of the house. I went to the beach but couldn't find anywhere to go. The tide was in. God what is wrong with me, I don't know how to get out of this hole I have dug. Part of me says i must be lonely but today I kept walling and trying to find a place i could be on my own. I couldn't find one and that freaks me out!. I feel like something is enclosing around my head and squeezing my brain so I can't think anymore; I feel so hemmed in all the time and threatened by everything around me.
24th March 1987 I've got to go to an award ceremony and get my O lever certificate and mum and dad will be away. Noone wants to go with me, I have to put on my form that I just need one ticket...for me.
I understand they have to go away and wouldn't dream of asking them to stay. I have nooone to congratualte me , it's not fair
I've kept one since 1983 or there abouts!
Just dipped into my 'diary box'
here's what I came up with
March 26 1997 - 'I keep thinking and thinking about Mark and me. Are we having any fun? Not really I don't think. We just sit on the sofa and vegatate. Is Mark thinking the same? Do I really love him as much as I say? I do love him, and don't want to be without his love and friendship but has it gone past sexual attraction now? Has the really good sex gone?' (THIS IS THE SAME MAN I AM WITH NOW!!)
24th March 1990 - 'I just met a friend of Mike Tiritias (Mike the geek) who is gay.
Now its 7.55 am and I'm sober and I can explain the above lastnight at the bop (Manchester Poly Bop) I met Ranbir - he was a really good laugh and says he is coming round on Tuesday to take me to a club. Mr blusher brush wasn't at the Bop. I'm so stupid, I shouldn't get so worked up. Even now I can't stop thinking abou him. I want a friend so much, not a boyfriend, but a friend who is into the same things. How many times have I said that?'
March 29th 1988
Hello
It's 12.58 am. I've just come back from the Grand Hotel in Cardiff where I went to and 18th Birthday party. I was meant to leave at one but Catrina had her purse stolen and was really upset. We didn't have enough money for a taxi so I had to phone mum. Catrinas driving licence was in her purse. matthew was there I invited him to my party (Matthew turned out to be the only gay boy in the village)
24th March 1994
Hello - I feel like moving again Katy (my sister) and her boyfriend Dave were having noisy sex upstairs at 1.15 am and I banged on the wall to shut them up. martin (my housemate) said they're young and having fun, but, fuck, I don't want to be woken up at 1am by thet kind of horrible noise. Went to Metros on saturday and the lead singer of the manic Street Preachers was there '
March 29th 1992...Well...went to the Square club, Michael ws ther but baisically it was a kind of 'who really cares and does it bother me' kind of situaton because I didn't think he was going to be there. The cute bloke from Spillers records was there!
Later - I don't know what is wrong with me. I've just let everything get on top of me. About 1 and a half hours ago I got totally stressed out and started crying. I had to get out of the house. I went to the beach but couldn't find anywhere to go. The tide was in. God what is wrong with me, I don't know how to get out of this hole I have dug. Part of me says i must be lonely but today I kept walling and trying to find a place i could be on my own. I couldn't find one and that freaks me out!. I feel like something is enclosing around my head and squeezing my brain so I can't think anymore; I feel so hemmed in all the time and threatened by everything around me.
24th March 1987 I've got to go to an award ceremony and get my O lever certificate and mum and dad will be away. Noone wants to go with me, I have to put on my form that I just need one ticket...for me.
I understand they have to go away and wouldn't dream of asking them to stay. I have nooone to congratualte me , it's not fair
0
Comments
Sorry:p
and no, i'm not going to show you anything from it, because at that age i was everything i hate about people.
Teenagers really do show the worst up about people:(
My god!! I thought you were old!!!!!
God, no. I'm only 20, I just feel twice that!
there was something on the radio the other week about there being actual chemical deficits in the brains of adolescents that make them think that the world revolves around them and makes their reactions totally inappropriate to the stimulus.
With age comes taste...or somethig along those lines!
With age comes taste, aye. Though as my taste is already impeccable, it'll be interesting to see how it can improve...
something similar, but this is from a couple of years ago.
*Stops rambling now*
though i only seem to get obscene messeges on it now. so i might have to stop anon posting. though they do make me laugh.
you were ginger?! :eek:
I have also let someone read it. Still not quite sure whether that was a mistake or not. Ah well.
Franki
x
in 1987 i wasnt even born!
Ah, them were the days:p