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Controlling admirers
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically this sort of ties in with the abusive ex and abusive bf topics but is a bit different.
I work in a pub and have known this bloke for about 3 years. We always have a laugh about when am i going to fall into bed with him etc. but that's all it's ever been, according to him and his friends. We used to take the piss about me tarting etc. when he knows damn well i pretty much live like a nun.
Friday we had a drunken snog and everything went tits up. He started getting lairy with any bloke i talked to. According to him he threatened one bloke as well. Saturday we agreed that it was a mistake and that these things happen.
Tonight he was pissed and started on about who he was going to beat up and i basically told him he needed help and i couldn't understand why he was being like it. I told him that nothing could happen again as it was overstepping the line what he did and that he was scaring me and he went ballistic. Followed me home shouting and swearing about this bloke and that bloke and how he was going to sort it
I'm now really fuck** as to what to do. I never imagined that he was this messed up as it's always been lighthearted banter (well not to him obviously).
I just need some suggestions on how i manage this when he walks in the pub and stuff because i don't trust what he could do.
Sorry if this sounds weak, and for all those people that are going to say you asked for it you pulled him, i genuinely did like him.
I work in a pub and have known this bloke for about 3 years. We always have a laugh about when am i going to fall into bed with him etc. but that's all it's ever been, according to him and his friends. We used to take the piss about me tarting etc. when he knows damn well i pretty much live like a nun.
Friday we had a drunken snog and everything went tits up. He started getting lairy with any bloke i talked to. According to him he threatened one bloke as well. Saturday we agreed that it was a mistake and that these things happen.
Tonight he was pissed and started on about who he was going to beat up and i basically told him he needed help and i couldn't understand why he was being like it. I told him that nothing could happen again as it was overstepping the line what he did and that he was scaring me and he went ballistic. Followed me home shouting and swearing about this bloke and that bloke and how he was going to sort it
I'm now really fuck** as to what to do. I never imagined that he was this messed up as it's always been lighthearted banter (well not to him obviously).
I just need some suggestions on how i manage this when he walks in the pub and stuff because i don't trust what he could do.
Sorry if this sounds weak, and for all those people that are going to say you asked for it you pulled him, i genuinely did like him.
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Comments
His friends have tried speaking to him before but he only listens when sober. When he's had a drink all the little things that have niggled him come back and get exaggerated tenfold.
His drinking is the main root of the problem. It is very rare that he gets violent when drinking but it seems like i'm acting like some sort of excuse for him to misbehave.
If it is getting out of hand and you feel at risk then you should explain the situation to your bosses, make sure they provide you with a cab or a lift home after work (they should do this anyway), and if needs be get the police involved.
Hope that helps
Susie
He sounds like he has a right attitude problem!