Help needed, please!

Former Member · March 2004

Basically if you're not happy you need to talk to him about it. There's no point sitting there stewing away wondering and not knowing. Just ask him how he's feeling. Leave a message or whatever telling him to get in touch.

Former Member · March 2004

Talk to him, tell him the way you see it and tell him youre not happy.. see if that changes the situation.

If it doesnt, leave him, because at the moment it sounds like you two are in very different positions. He is being cruel, ive had that happen to me and to this day im convinced he was trying to make me break up with him (which i did) because he didnt want to do it himself.

Youre at uni, you should have fun and love somebody who deserves it. Unless this guy really doesnt realise how hes acting, and unless this guy has something on his mind preventing him from giving you the support you need, then he needs to be put in his place, and you may need to move on.

But talk before you do anything rash.

Former Member · March 2004

Thing is, he won't talk to me. He's just ignoring me and I don't have the slightest idea why. Now you've mentioned it I'm thinking he might want me to break up with him, so do I do it and make it easy for him?

This is really ripping me apart, I feel like I'm not worth a thing and on the most basic level I feel humiliated and let-down. He's always been such a fantastic boyfriend, and I know that he's a great person. I just don't know why he's suddenly changed.

I've left a voicemail just calmly saying that I want to talk - but I know he has no lectures now til Thursday and still I've had no reply, despite his lack of other things he has to do. So what's the next step - call one of his friends and ask to speak to him? Drive down there? I can't just make myself busy because I've no lectures and nothing planned today - I'm just wallowing, and although I've been chatting about it to my flatmates, it's not helping. I'm clueless.

Former Member · March 2004

Well you have to take charge of the situation. If that means going down there then I'd try that.

Former Member · March 2004

I really sympathise with your situation, the same thing happened with my ex.

The thing is hun, he's lost interest for whatever reason... I know it's hard not to ring him etc, but if he can't be bothered to get in touch for days on end, doesn't that make you mad? I've learnt the hard way, you really can't afford to take any crap off men.

Don't drive down to see him
Don't ring him
Stop texting him

I know it's hard, but just look after yourself. If he's right for you, he'll make the effort and come back.

GOOD LUCK and PM me if you need anything

Former Member · March 2004

I think you should hold off on the calls and texts and stuff. He may be playing you for a fool but you are making it worse for yourself by basically harrassing him.

Give him a couple of days to think, and or you to think. Don't contact him and he'll realise you are a strong person. if you keep bombarding him with text messages and voice mails he'll just be more pissed off.

To be honest with you I think that your reactions to him standing at the bar with his mates, deciding to get a curry and giving you the bed etc were a bit over sensitive and he probably got pissed off at the pub when you started acting weird with him because he decided to chat to other people!

Its a common girl thing. We want to be the centre of our boyfriends lives. It's a rediculous way to be but we just can't help ourselves.

I think you were over analysing things in the pub and its had a huge Knock on effect.

By chilling out a bit and taking some space for yourself he might just start to realise what he's missing!

Former Member · March 2004

leave him alone for a while, it sounds like he really needs his space. break contact, and let him contact you. he will if he wants too, and iff not then move on. Also, what everyone else said, but i aint gonna type it again, lol

Former Member · March 2004

Well obviously this was all good advice and I should have left it. But one of his flatmates phoned me to check I was ok and she was in the kitchen when he walked in and she forced me to speak to him. Obviously I started crying and just asked why he was doing this to me. He basically barked a few words at me, was a total prick and then passed the phone back over to her.

Am just going to leave it, hard as it is, now. I don't think he wants anything to do with me, and as much as I want to know why this happened, I'm going to just leave it and hopefully he'll come to me with an explanation in his own time. If not then I don't know.

I'm absolutely gutted, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep busy. Thanks everyone, anymore tips appreciated!

Former Member · March 2004

Aw pet, I know how you feel.

My ex did this to me, too. He ignored me and let me chase after him, 17 missed phone calls in one day..he called me a psycho, but I was totally head over heels and didn't want to lose him, and if 17 calls made that happen..

You have to let him get on with it and realise you ARE too good for him. You honestly are if he's not making any effort at all to get things rectified. I'd say bugger him, and carry on.

Easier said than done, but attempt it.

Help needed, please!

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