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messed it up! *sigh*
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I think i may have messed my relationship up with a girl i really like...
basically, we've been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now and have been going out as a couple but are not oficially boyfriend and girlfriend yet. last night we were watching a dvd round hers, we were laying on her bed snuggled up and stupid me here trys to finger her. she seemed quite happy to let me have my hands a little way down her trousers but when i actually tried to 'do the deed' she went all shy so i stopped and moved my hand away. i stayed round for about 45 mins after this and she was ok with me again after about 10 minutes but still seemed a bit distant with me. Im just worried ive messed up probably the best relationship ive ever been in. i said sorry at the time and text her later on when i was at home to say sorry again and tha i hope i havent messed things up between us. no reply but then that was to be expected as i know she has no credit.
Only thing on my mind at the moment is really 'have i messed things up?' and 'what do i do now?'
Any help will be greatly appriciated!
Thanks
Icey
I think i may have messed my relationship up with a girl i really like...
basically, we've been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now and have been going out as a couple but are not oficially boyfriend and girlfriend yet. last night we were watching a dvd round hers, we were laying on her bed snuggled up and stupid me here trys to finger her. she seemed quite happy to let me have my hands a little way down her trousers but when i actually tried to 'do the deed' she went all shy so i stopped and moved my hand away. i stayed round for about 45 mins after this and she was ok with me again after about 10 minutes but still seemed a bit distant with me. Im just worried ive messed up probably the best relationship ive ever been in. i said sorry at the time and text her later on when i was at home to say sorry again and tha i hope i havent messed things up between us. no reply but then that was to be expected as i know she has no credit.
Only thing on my mind at the moment is really 'have i messed things up?' and 'what do i do now?'
Any help will be greatly appriciated!
Thanks
Icey
0
Comments
I was in the same position as her when i was first with my boyfriend. He started touching me when i had only known him a few days, but look at me now ive been with him for a year. The reason i didnt want the sexual contact at that time was becasue of all the reasons i stated above, so maybe if u give her a little time and try not to make a big deal out of it everything will b fine
Hope it goes ok
thanks for the quick reply! Did you push him away/give some sort of sign you didnt want to do it at that time? how did he react to this if you did?
And byny sometimes its hard to ask "do you mind if i finger you" I mean its kind of a mood killer really, but surely she should have known what he was doing when he started trying to put his hands down her pants.
Oh and mate, you sure you got the right whole??
i didnt get that far, she was laid with her legs together and it was when i tried to get her to open them a bit that she went all shy.
jus cos she didnt want it then, doesnt mean you've ruined things. as zella said, talk to her, its the only way to know for sure
That seems to be the main bit of advice, but how do i go about starting that conversation without dweling too much on what happened? i dont want to make too big a deal out of it because if she doesnt think its a big issue (i dont know if she does or not)then she probably will after i've been going on about it...
Thanks, thats actually really good advice.
Just say something like 'i hope we're still ok after what i did last night and im sorry if it made u feel uncomfy in any way'
She seems to be ignoring me. As does her best mate (who is supposed to be a mutual friend) I might be wrong but it seems to be an awful big co-incidence that neither is answering their phones and the girl iam(/was?) seeing has turned hers off.:(
Hopefully there will be light at this end of the tunnel but it looks kinda doubtful at the moment.
*UPDATE #2*
She's finally answered her phone. seems ok but she still seems a bit distant with me (this might be my paranoia though,hopefully)
I've aranged to take her to the cinemas on saturday so hopefully things will be alright between us but it gonna be hard to tell until i actually see her.)
Good idea! were you thinking now? or on saturday?