No idea what to do

Former Member · January 2004

Hi there,

Dunno where to start with this so I'll try to keep it brief.

I met a girl a few years ago and we became good friends, I was never attracted to her (even though she is stunning!). So, 4 or so years later we're still good friends but I seem to have fallen in love with her :eek2:

So, why not just ask her to make it something more than friends? Well, simply because I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend- this is a subject she tries to ignore time and time again when I bring it up. Sometimes she says she has, sometimes she says she hasn't.

Now here's the problem- Every time I see her, we're quite close, i.e. always hold hands, go to restaurants & bars together. This drives me NUTS! Anyway, I think about her so much and seeing her just makes it worse, this is unrequited love at it's finest.

So, I don't know what to do now. If I tell her I'm sure she'll understand (practically every bloke she meets tries to get into her panties so shes used to it). While she'll be ok with it, I'm 100% sure it would make things really awkward between us and probably ruin the friendship we have. If I don't tell her I'll just keep banging my head against a wall knowing that nothing is going to happen. I need to tell her as keeping it bottled up is driving me mad.

I've had this idea, basically to tell her how I feel (and know that nothings going to happen) and essentially end our friendship.I know this seems silly and selfish, but I can't think of anything else to do...................... anyone offer any advice??

Former Member · January 2004

Well from bitter experience i say just go ahead and say it. If it makes it awkward, it will clear up eventually. Then again, there's a chance she'll say 'yes' and so its worth it, eh?

I only say that because the same thing happened with me and i spent 16 months in your current state over one girl, which is a waste of time and sanity. And she never knew it.

Former Member · January 2004

i also think you should tell her, she could probably be feeling exactly the same as you are and she might want to tell you, but just think, if you are both feeling like that, then isn't it best that one of you just comes out and says it, and wouldn't you rather it be you, instead of waiting around??

but good luck in telling her and let me know how it goes

:thumb:

Former Member · January 2004

Hope you have better luck than i did yesterday

not that i remember it all...

Former Member · January 2004

I have very very personal experience of that. Have posted a few threads recently, cos basically... I was best of best mates with this guy for 2 years, and we were all kinda holding hands type friends, and arms round each other snuggling type thing. Then this one night we went to the cinema, I went back to his, and we were lying on his sofa bed, and there was so much tension...and then we kissed.

And it wasn't weird at all, even though we thought it would be.

But anyway, after a year of going out he just broke up with me cos he says he 'loves me, but isn't in love with me.' And even though I hurt like hell right now, i know we're still gonna be best of mates, cos we're still really special to each other, you know??

So anyway, if you're really really good friends, you should just come out with it. If you've got that special bond, it's difficult to break, so even if she doesn't feel the same, I reckon you'll still be really good mates.

And if you get together, then good luck with it!! Being mates first is the best way to start a relationship in my opinion- you build up on what you already have and it's great

Now i just have to go and cry in a corner for a bit, cos I'm still gettin over the best mate whom I love...

hmmm....

Hope that helps!!!

No idea what to do

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